Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

How to Measure a Mother's Freedom

Mommy's freedom- is that an oxymoron? Alas, I think it comes in small increments.
This morning, after taking Aidan to school, Hubby and I set out for a day of massive shopping. We decide that Aidan would enjoy school more than the mall. By the end of the day, the conclusion is definitely just that, after seeing other toddlers lose it in the middle of the mall, falling asleep everywhere, and seeing frazzled parents, we are relieved with our decision.
While driving, I realize that I have become more of my former self: this Christmas, all the gifts got wrapped. I baked three loaves of lemon pound cake, four dozens of cookies, and three coffecakes. I also read two novels in the last few weeks. I started chopping my stir-fry matieral into small bites again. Of course, the nursery remains a huge mess. Hubby's winter corduroy pants are still in storage, but hey, at least his sweaters are already out! A mother's freedom is all relative, and measured in very vague, small, increments.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Changes

I was sitting around after Aidan went off to bed, looking at our Christmas tree and thinking about all the Christmases of yore that involved Aidan.

In 2003, we were in St. Petersburg, Russia, the week before Christmas. We were freezing our bottoms off by the Peter and Paul Fortress. The river froze. This was taken at 3 pm, but obviously, quite dark already. I was 6 months pregnant with Aidan.

In 2004, he was crawling and loved the wrapping paper that year. We didn't get a tree. Who needed a tree to tempt a baby?

In 2005, he said cheese on command for the first time. He also left the tree alone.

This year, he wants to decorate the tree, "Mommy, I throw the snowflake, okay?" Hmm. Maybe not. He is able to leave all the wrapped gifts alone though. Also, this year, he really isn't a baby anymore. He has his own mind, his own friends, and most curious of all, his own imagination.


Thursday, December 21, 2006

Just the Two of Us

Daddy has had to go to Boston this week for work. Aidan and I have been holding down the fort, just the two of us. He is so much more aware now, of Daddy being away, that everyday, he asks for Daddy the first thing he wakes up, even though he knows that Daddy will be back the day after dance class, and we have been counting down. He talks about the plane ride that Daddy has to take and what he will say the morning after dance class: "Daddy, come see Aidan!" It is so sweet. We have also been checking with Daddy on speaker phone nightly- yesterday, Aidan told Daddy to go have sushi for dinner, because Aidan and I were out with former colleagues to sushi.
It being just the two of us, I have had to be the strong one about boundaries: conversations like this.
Me: "Aidan Honey, would you like pancakes or raisin bread for breakfast?"
Aidan: "Apples."
Me: "Honey, you can have apples later. It wasn't an option Mommy offered. Pancakes or raisin bread?"
Aidan: "APPLES!"
Me: "Your choice, pancakes or raisin bread. You can always go hungry, but that would be sad, because then you won't have energy for dance class. Choose."
Aidan: "APPLES!"
Me: "That is too bad. I didn't offer you apples. Choose."
Aidan: "Dried grapes."
Me: "Dried grapes? Well, raisin bread is dried grapes bread. Would you like that?"
Aidan: "Apples?!"
Me: "Dried grapes bread it is. Go get in the car, you can have it in the car."
Aidan: "Apples?"
Me: "Honey, you're having dried grapes bread in the car. Let's go."
As it turned out, he happily ate his 'dried grapes bread' in the car, then asked for another slice, then another slice.
Good for me for not giving in.

Then at dinner time.
Aidan: Freaking out about something that is still in the car.
Me: "Are you looking for your sticker?"
Aidan: Shrieking like a banshee...
Me: "Aidan, I can't talk to you when you're screaming. Settle down, then we will talk." I walk away.
Aidan: Tries really hard to calm down...
Me: "Good job trying. Would you like this sticker? Is this what you wanted?"
Aidan: "I am hungry, I want to eat."
Me: "Okay, go wash your hands please."
Aidan: Shrieking like a banshee.
Me: "Your choice, wash hands and we eat, or you can stand there and be so sad and hungry. Choose."
Aidan: Makes his way over to the sink.
Me: "Good job. Let's wash hands and eat. I am hungry too. It is hard to not be cranky when we are so hungry."
Good for me for sticking to hand washing. Sometimes, basic hygiene isn't negotiable...
Aidan ends up sitting down, gobbles up 2 spring rolls, a chicken wing, Peking pork chops, chow mein, soup, and baby corns. And I manage to stay relatively clean! (Can you tell that this meal is a take out meal...?)
I am glad Daddy will be back in the morning, so I can have a buddy to hold strong together.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Piano Lessons?

Every few months, my mom would ask me when I am starting Aidan with piano lessons, "even if he is going to focus on the violin, he needs to know how to play the piano." Of course, I am appreciative of my mom's perseverance in making sure I know how to play both piano and violin, but I am just not quite sure I want to give Aidan that experience. I remember practicing these instruments, A LOT! I also know that to be good at an instrument, you really have to practice, it doesn't come intuitively, not until you master the basics.

So, Hillsdale Mall had scheduled various performances for December. They had this music studio scheduled last night. These adorable kids, ALL WHITE (who has ever heard of a piano studio without Asian kids?!) got up one at a time, and played either Jolly Old Saint Nicolas or Jingle Bells. The teacher stood next to them and essentially told them which key to push down. I wondered if these kids ever practiced! I also wondered if the teacher only knew two songs! This only furthered my idea that to be proficient at an instrument, you have to practice.

Back to whether to start Aidan with piano lessons or not... For now, I am putting that off. We are enjoying music in the capacity that he wants to enjoy music, namely, we listen to Les Miserables, (not even the whole thing, just "Look Down" and "Do You Hear People Sing?" He can sing along when I play the music at a slower tempo. It is all very cute. I imagine there will come a time when I jump on the bandwagon and he will have to practice, but I am delusionally hopeful that HE will WANT to practice.

Aidan is taking a dance class- the teacher from a studio comes to his day school to do lessons once a week. I think he enjoys watching the teacher dance than the actual dancing- but I figure this is a good way to learn how to follow directions and stay on task.
Aidan said grace for dinner tonight! We all sat down, and we asked him to close his eyes so we can pray. He said, "I pray myself." We asked him to say it outloud for all of us. So, this little guy, proceeded to close his eyes, shut them tightly, then said something about "thank you Jesus, for the pork chops, the ginger snaps, the veggies, and the pickles. All done." It was so sweet.
Like my wardrobe, my shoes come in all different sizes. In college, I used to wear 7 1/2. Somehow, after Aidan's birth, my feet shrank, to 6 1/2. This time around, they became wider. I am now stuck with the dilemma of in-between sizes, I don't fit a 6 1/2 M or W, or 7 M or W, and 7 1/2 is just much too big. Seriously, what gives?! Maybe this is the source of the expression, "pregnant and bare foot," simply because going bare foot is the most comfortable solution.

My poor feet have been through a lot. They used to be callous free. Then came rounding in pediatrics and medicine. Whoever came up with this bright idea of standing still, then moving door to door, everyday, for 2-3 hours at a time, possibly TWICE a day. Seriously. My poor feet are now forever doomed. And, my podiatrist brother tells me that because of my low arch, I am going to have hammer toe someday...great.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

All Grown Up?

I had dinner with some college friends tonight. It was so fun to see them and catch up. It was astounding to realize that I lived with these people more than one decade ago!
Most days, I feel like I am still playing house with Hubby. We have a pretty home, I make yummy food, our child is just perfect for us, and it doesn't seem real somtimes. I still feel like I just graduated from college last month, yet my responsibilities have grown. People actually want my opinion about things at work, and I actually can say no to things I don't want to do. I would love to hear from those who feel like they are all grown up, what is that like?


Thursday, November 30, 2006

Still Irritable

My new job requires a longer commute- but after living 3 miles away from work for four years, any job I would have taken would have required a longer commute. Anyway, the bonus of this longer drive, is that I have more time to figure out why I am irritable. It comes down to these few points:
1. I still have not gotten paid. I have been on this new job for five weeks now, but no real pay check has come through- it is utterly unsatisfying, to work hard and follow through with billing, but then no pay check. Apparently, insurance companies are allowed 4-6 weeks to pay up! That seems outrageous. My credit card companies fine me if I don't pay them in two weeks!
2. I am getting sick. I have geographic tongue- and it flares up whenever I am stressed. I first encountered this strange phenomenon the summer after first year of med school- I thought I had badly burned the tip of my tongue- it had appeared that all the taste buds had fallen off. Yikes. It felt raw too. It quickly went away that summer. However, that Thanksgiving, while I was in full force of planning our wedding, studying, going to my grandfather's funeral, and coping with my future mother-in-law battle a brain tumor, it came back. I rushed to my trusted dentist and announced that I have cancer- totally appropriate since we were studying oral pathology. He laughed and showed me an atlas. This 'illness' primarily strikes young women who are stressed out. GO FIGURE! Since then, it is my barometer for my stress level. Aside from geographic tongue (by the way, if you suffer from this, leave me a note, so we can commiserate together.) I am also getting a cold, bummer.
3. The holidays... I have discussed this quite enough recently...
However, seeing a little face like this really cheers me up.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Lacking the Holiday Spirit

It is official. I seriously lack the holiday spirit. I resist listening to Christmas music. I cannot even begin to think about actually celebrating Christmas. I don't want to get a tree (just have needles to clean), I don't want to drag out all the Christmas decorations (just have to put them away later), and let's not even think about buying Christmas presents. All I am thinking about is the BIG mess in our third room that needs to be transformed into a nursery, all the stuff I need to return to the store, (so far, I have stuff to Bloomies, Macy's, Babystyle, and Michael's to take back), all the laundry that needs folding, the fact that I am going to be on call the weekend before Christmas and New Year's, and when, oh, when, am I actually going to get paid by these insurance companies?
I am also thinking about childcare issues, with all the parties in December, and the inevitable overnight stay at the hospital, there are a lot of evenings (okay, so only four, for now), that Aidan will have to be bedded by someone else. It just isn't fun to think about.
Oh, the Christmas of yore. I used to wake up on Christmas day, there would no presents to open, because we opened everything as we received them...I know, shame on us. And we just would eat something yummy that someone else (Mom), made, and go take a nap, and be jolly. It would not bother me that the Christmas tree stayed in the livingroom until January, (it did bother my Mom...) I can see how December is hard on adults.
Alas, I am excited about one thing: the birth of Christ, which makes me realize that as much pain as keeping the house going is, He has endured more pain...and He understands the pain.

Friday, November 24, 2006

I think I can cook better than Dreager's

Alright, we are done with the feast. My aunt-in-law and father-in-law brought over much of the feast, beyond what Draeger's had prepared for us- a mean for 10-12. There were five adults and Aidan at our Thanksgiving meal. Needlessly to say, we left the table STUFFED! Aidan very much enjoyed grand-auntie's tofu dish. He ate 1/2 of the entire dish. He also devored cranberry sauce that I made. I think Draeger's ham was good, but Honey Baked Ham is better. Draeger's sweet potatoes were amazing. The mashed potatoes were smoother than mine, but way richer than our liking. As for the stuffing, I make better stuffing than Mr. Draeger can. Seriously. But alas, the convenience could not be beaten.
As much as I complained about the holiday shopping season- after we cleaned up and put Aidan to bed, Hubby headed out to CompUSA for their 9-midnight special. He went looking for some more hardware of sorts...

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Being Irate

So, I am irate about how stores try to sell us stuff for Christmas/holidays. Our mail box is FULL of catalogues I don't want. I am forced to listen to holiday music when I am put on-hold when I am calling places. For crying out loud, K-Mart and some other computer stores are open on Thanksgiving Day! WHAT?! Then, stores are trying to sell me stuff I don't need. There is a crib from Pottery Barn Kids: it is slip covered. Seriously, do babies know how to keep slip covers clean and do parents have to time strip the bed whenever boogers/poop/pee gets on it? Seriously.
AND, I just want my Thanksgiving to be about Thanksgiving. Let Christmas/holiday shopping madness start tomorrow. Not the month before Halloween!
Okay, so I think I am a little irritable. I have been call for 72 hours (with 2 more hours to go today) this week. I am tired of jumping up everytime the phone buzzes. I just want to sleep/eat in peace. Poor Aidan needs his mother back... Poor Hubby needs another pair of adult hands to keep a defiant and sick child in line...
Alas, I have my Thanksgiving meal all prepared- Aidan and I picked it up yesterday from Dreager's! Hooray! Nothing is quite like a Thanksgiving out of a box...
I am remembering all the Thanksgivings of yesteryear. As a college student, I usually mooched off friends and their families for Thanksgiving. In med school, I mooched off friends one year, was home one year, and then Hubby and I did our own Thanksgivings from then on. I make a mean Thanksgiving, I must say so myself. We also used to get up at the crack of dawn the day after, pack a little snack and tea and hit the mall. Then, we would get home by 9 am, eat a turkey sandwich, and go back to bed. Alas, it is all different now. No more early AM shopping trips for us together (I suppose one of us can still go.) And no more guaranteed days off either- tomorrow is a regular work day for me. Bummer... Maybe all this is adding to my irateness regarding the consumerism of our world.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

A Free Weekend!

Ahh, a free weekend. What an amazing concept. While I love the flexibility of my new job, it does require some weekends- not that it consumes the entire weekend, but just enough that I feel like I am constantly working.
I wake up this morning and think it is time to get up and get ready for work, but, ha! No work for me today. Instead, I eat a leisurely breakfast with my guys. The laminate flooring installers come (yeah! new flooring!) and we leave to get on the set of Agent Aidan (more explanation later.) We shoot the movie, eat lunch (yummers! prawns and eggs over chow fun, best thing ever!) I take a long nap after some reading. After Aidan and I are both up, Daddy goes to Home Depot for some baseboards (real baseboards!) Aidan has become so much easier to entertain, meaning, he is self-entertaining. I am able to sit at the dinner table, do my own thing, and occasionally we chat. But otherwise, he is on his own! What an amazing milestone! (In some ways, it is as good as sleeping through the night!) We go out to dinner, we walk around, we all have a good time. We finally get home, somewhat beyond Aidan's typical bedtime, but he is so easy going today that bath time and bedtime are literally effortless. Wow. I sure can use days like this, everyday.

For those of you who are not familiar with Agent Aidan- every year, we make a movie of Aidan and distribute it among friends and relatives. This is the third episode we're working on so I cannot reveal any secrets. However, the first Agent Aidan is about him breaking out of his crib for a Midnight Snack. The second one is about him acquiring my Christmas Gift. For those of you who want to see the first two episodes, you can leave me your e mail, say who you are and how you found this blog, and if you pass our security check (in our effort to avoid stalkers, kidnappers...etc), I will e mail you the web site address and password. Believe me, it is worth the trouble.





Tuesday, November 14, 2006

The Benefits of my Job

Ahh, today, I reap the benefits of my job. I have been in need of catching up on many things, getting a haircut, seeing the optometrist, moving the piano, blah, blah, blah. This morning, I call these places. A haircut appointment for today at 2:15? I will take it! Seeing the optometrist at 10:30 on Friday? I will take it. Moving the piano tomorrow at 3? I will take it! Ahhh... I used to have to make appointments about 1 month out!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Spending More $

It is funny, whenever I have attempted to spend less money, I somehow find that I have a greater urge to spend money, and curiously, things need to be replaced.
This morning, while hanging out in bed with Aidan and tickling him silly, I found a BIG HOLE in my lovely sheet! This was a piece of bedding from our registry, and I did thoroughly enjoy using this sheet for the past 6.5 years. It was made by Royal Sateen, their lovely Haywood pattern, something like 450 threat count Egyptian cotton. I remember registering for this and thinking that whoever buys this must be out of his/her mind, because at the time, I could not justify spending $100 on ONE sheet. I also could not bring myself to register for the duvet, as much as I enjoy the pattern. After the weddind frenzy, through the generosity of our family and friends, Hubby and I became the proud owners of this lovely bedding set- later, I somewhat regret not registering and getting all the other pieces. But perhaps it was a good thing, since what would one do without the fitted sheet? Was the solution than to stock up on flat and fitted sheets up front, because I imagine the wear and tear for the other pieces would be so much less. Maybe this was how my parents and Hubby's parents all have these crazy, mismatched bedding? It was just sad that we are now wearing out our wedding gifts- will there be a time that our beloved casual china will have to go?! Shocking.
Anyway, I dragged my bottom to go get some kind fo replacement- because really, we only own ONE sheet and a replacement must be found, STAT! Of course, the deal I find didn't include ALL the pieces, and so I went on-line and was determined to find it all. Then I ordered it all.
And I bet, I will end up taking it all back. I will keep you posted. For now, I am curious, for those who have done registries- what is the philosophy- should one just get the ENTIRE ensemble, and risk things wearing out, or what?
It is true, s/he who stores treasures in heaven will not lose them, because nothing rots/breaks/rips in heaven... what use is all this STUFF if they are just going to fail me?!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Spending $

After work today, I head to Cupertino for some food shopping. That is a huge benefit of my new job: further south and closer to tasty Chinese food. I pick up frozen dumplings, soup dumplings, bread, and the final destination: those egg-shaped little pancake-like things. The price is mildly shocking: an order of these tasty morsels costs $4.90. Seriously, the margin of this item is incredible. I am buying, in terms of raw materials, an egg, 1/2 cup of flour, a tablespoon of sugar, and some oven time. Sure, I am paying for people's time/store front, blah, blah, blah. But I remember back to the days when Hubby and I were both students, on a double negative income, living in New York City.
There was this amazing bakery around the corner, Cranberries, or was it singular, Cranberry? Anyway, they had this amazing looking piece of white cake with strawberries in the filling, for $3.50. In all the two years we lived there, I ate it twice. It was also a hugely contemplated splurge. We were very serious about not spending more than absolutel necessary. I think I made ALL of the scones/pancakes/waffles we ever consumed those two years, and the only baked goods came from China Town, because it was just so much cheaper there. When we did eat out, it was definitely no more than once a week. We also used to buy lots of stuff from Costco on our trips home and then took it all on as luggage. There was this Chinese take out place, The Great Wall, with incredibly cheap food. We would get two entrees and eat it over 2-3 meals between the two of us. When we celebrated Match Day, I cringed at spending $50 for the two of us with our friends at some Indian place.
These days, we throw away so much food. I get meals/baked goods and not think about it twice. Somehow, I feel like I deserve spending 'MY' money since I earned it. However, we all know it isn't really 'MY' money, since it all belongs to the Lord. I think I need an attitude adjustment.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

The Saga of our Laminate Flooring

There is a very long story about our laminate flooring- for those of you who have seen it, you probably know our angst about the whole situation. To keep it brief, the contractors we had 3 years ago installed the whole thing incorrectly. THERE WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO BE A LONG SEAM! Then, we had some flooding problems, and so the panels buckled. We went back and forth with our home association (interesting how that word began with a-s-s...) Hubby thought we would then replace it ourselves- plenty of people had done it. Some even offered to help. Then we realized that the original contractors installed the flooring underneath the kitchen cabinets- and so we needed to hire professionals to cut it for us- it needed to be very smooth, straight, and adjacent to the cabinets. We managed to get some money from the ASSociation. We called the laminate cutting people. Hubby went to Costco/Home Depot to buy flooring/table saw... All this time, I wondered: how much $ will we be saving? Will it be worth Hubby's time? (AND, I would be left to handling/entertaining/disciplining Aidan on my own for at least two weekends...) Also, what about the 'emotional' contribution to the project: that we did it ourselves...etc. Blah, blah, blah. In the end, we decided to have the professionals do this: they are coming next week! I will keep you posted- we might actually have 'normal' flooring for the first time in three years!

Friday, November 03, 2006

This is what I want to do

So I had this delusion about what I will accomplish after residency is over: that I would have all sorts of free time to bake yummy biscuits, that every dinner will be gourmet, and that I would have time to nap, while working part-time. As it is turning out, I don't have time for any of this. And I still have not gotten to my 'must do' list. This is what we want to do before the next baby comes. We're probably lucky to get 1/2 of this done.

Replace our warped laminate flooring
Paint the walls
Hang pictures
Clear out the spare room's closet
Shove the piano into the closet
Set up a baby corner in the spare room
Figure out a way to store all that baby/toddler stuff/crap
Clear out Aidan's closet and throw away his plastic dresser, I know, it is really sad, that his dresser is plastic...
Plant some bulbs
Catch up on 2 years worth of scrapbooking

Seriously, how will I get this done?




Thursday, November 02, 2006

Halloween

This is our penguin, waddling. How cute can he be? Here he is, just waving. We love this expression- just so sweet. He has taken on a liking to taking care of babies. He loads up any container he can find with lots of stuffed animals, and blankets, and trains, and pillows, and then he whispers, 'baby sleeping.'

Sunday, October 29, 2006

  • Work

    I have been on the job for 7 days. I have driven to work all 7 days. It is a different life, having a private practice as a hospitalist. I only get paid for the work I actually do- no longer paid for being there for a certain number of hours. That means, no more fooling around at work. No more e mailing, blogging, chatting, and sitting around. It is work, Work, WORK!
    Also interesting to be on call from home. They can call me anytime for anything about anybody. Hubby has been on call too. They have called me/us total of six times in our sleep time these past two nights. It is not easy to be coherent at 4 am. However, there is also this strange 'freedom' that I get to do whatever I want to do, and I don't have to worry about what my attending will say, because, I am the attending. It is a different life. In speaking with a former colleague of mine who is in fellowship, she reports that when she is on beeper call, she has 2 minutes to respond before they beep her again, and 2 minutes later, they call the attending. So she has her beeper attached to her hip- in the shower, in bed...etc. I guess not having the fear that my 'boss' will get called is a relief. I wonder what happens if they can't find me? I really should find out.

  • A Favorite Song

    Guess what Aidan's favorite song is?
    Drum roll...please. It is Do You Hear the People Sing? From Les Miserables! What an interesting song for a 2 1/2 year old. He hums along, and sings the last words of each sentence in the chorus, he dances to it, spins all over the livingroom. He listens to it in the car...screaming for it to be turned up, and for it to be repeated. I think we must have listened to this one song for 1/2 hour after dinner today. Now he wants to go see the show.
    He is into singing these days. He sings Row Row Row Your Boat, in his own rendition, involving a sea otter... He sings a Thank You song before meals. He also sings all the typical toddler favorites. He settles down to Doxology... Very interesting...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

A Lab Rat

So I am feeling like I am a lab rat.
My new job doesn't come with an office phone- and my cell phone is now my work phone. I can't get the volume of the ringer to the 'right' level: a level that is loud enough for me to hear, but not so loud that I feel like a lab rat being summoned.
Yesterday, I got a call at 8, about work. The ringer was SO loud that Hubby and I both jumped. But then, I couldn't hear the phone ring for the rest of the day...
It is going to be challenge: to keep this phone charged, keep it on, and to hear it ring.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Another Tradition

Aside from the San Mateo County Fair tradition that we have, another important one is the trip to Half Moon Bay for pumpkins/celebrate Hubby's birthday every October. The tradition dates back ALL the way to 2002. We actually attend the Pumpkin Festival the first two years, then Aidan's presence makes the festival seems too overwhelming, that, and we are just not artsy people. So, to avoid the crowds and the headaches of that, we have been going the weekend following the Pumpkin Festival. We do always end the evening with a delicious meal at Cafe Gibraltar http://www.cafegibraltar.com/site.html
This year, Aidan is very cooperative. He enjoys a very filling lunch of mushu pork after church, takes a nap in the car while we meander our way to Half Moon Bay. He wakes up very gracefully, hops around a pumpkin patch, rolls giant pumpkins, and remains very agreeable despite traffic on the way to dinner.
It is going to be different next year, with another baby...the idea is overwhelming, so for now, I am just going to enjoy my bliss of denial.



Saturday, October 21, 2006

Do I have to?!

My three weeks of break is about to be over...BIG SIGH. My new job starts on Monday. I need to talk to my billing service, aka collection agency. I also need to get a new notebook.
This morning, I wake up with the thought that I need to get to Target to get a notebook. Because, this magical notebook is going to make everything less anxiety provoking come Monday. The first thing I say to Hubby when he wakes up is, "I need a notebook." Somehow, I think that I have lost my ability to keep track of things, to remember factoids, and that this magical bullet is going to help me with my transition. Yeah, right.
I attend my first staff meeting, not as a student, not as a resident, but hey, as a 'real doctor.' It is astounding to hear the vacation requests: "I need next Thursday off, I need to go play golf." And these are perfectly legit reasons for just taking a day off! I love my new job, I think. But then, I get my password to their computer charting system, the dictation system, the blah, blah, blah, and it feels overwhelming. And I get my new badge: I am just a physician, not a student, not a resident. I look all of twenty in that picture...oh well, I hear that I will appreciate this one day. I even have access to a special parking lot, with a gate, so that the spaces are really for doctors. Ahhh... eight years of hard work comes down to...a parking space?! It is all about the parking space. But I guess I am giving a parking space so that I can go do work. Do I have to go to work? Can I just sit there? The reality though, is that I am on call next weekend, so that means, for the next 12 days, I will be driving to the hospital, every day...

Sunday, October 15, 2006

The Adventure

There is WiFi available on the ship, but the cost is rather prohibitive...which is a bummer, because recall is never as good. Alas, our adventure to the Mediterranean on a cruise.

Friday: Barcelona
Today is THE day to see Barcelona, not a minute can be lost. However, our biological clocks beg to differ. It is like pulling teeth to get all seven members of our party ready. We finally get to the city center around 11. My mom immediately gets lured away by the tour buses, my dad and sister follow. Just as well, since this household's schedule is dictated by nap time. We walk around the famous Las Ramblas, and are completely overwhelmed by the tourists. This is the bummer thing about Barcelona: ALL THOSE DARN TOURISTS! We do manage to see a 'local' market, where Aidan has a feast of watermelons and we see these strange heads for sale. We postulate that Barcelonians make soup with these and line them up in the soup tureen. Yum! We have lunch by the Cathedral, fight off flies who also want to eat our paella, and head back for a luxurious nap. After nap time, we head out to see Sagrada Familia. Strange... Aidan's highlights of the day include rides on the trains and buses. Fun!


Saturday: Barcelona
We wake up this morning to a strange gurgling sounds from Aidan's sleeping quarter... I run to check on him, wondering, is Aidan playing with the faucet? You wonder why there is a faucet in Aidan's bedroom? Well, when we travel, Aidan would like to maintain some privacy and so he sleeps in either the closet, or the bathroom, whichever one is bigger. He never complains about this. I know, it is weird. But hey, it works. Anyway, I find this poor guy vomiting! NOOO!!!!! How can this be? Fortunately, his beloved Mr. Hippo is soaking up the vomit and his Thomas the Train bedding is dry. I remove him, Daddy helps to get him into new clothes, we get him a new Mr. Hippo (we travel with the entire troop- all five of them!) Then we wait. Aidan asks for water, he gets some, he vomits. NOOO! He asks for crackers, he gets some, he vomits. Okay, that is it for food. He vomits without food anyway... My mom asks me if I have any 'anti-vomit' medicine for Aidan... Of all the things I have in the luggage, including antibacterial stuff, antifungal stuff, fever reducer, cough medicine, the thing I don't have is antivomit stuff. Alas, I don't make it a usual practice to pack antipsychotics with me. (Antipsychotics hit the receptor in the brain to stop vomiting.) Daddy runs to the store for some 7-Up and 'plainer food', whatever that is. I alert my parents that they are going to be on their own for the morning and that we will see them on the ship. We pray. We get a late check out time, Aidan passes out in Daddy's arms, and I make sure there is sustenance for Daddy, then I set out to shop. Why shop? Well, those yahoos over at Yahoo forecasts the Mediterranean to be in the 60-low 70's, but it is actually in the 80's. I come back after lunch and find that Aidan is eating crackers and drinking diluted 7-Up. Not vomiting. Praise the Lord!! We get in a cab and head over to the port for a cruise ship!

Sunday: Marseille
No vomiting! Hurray! Our port of call today, is Marseille. I don't know why we are here on a Sunday- most things are closed on Sundays. Alas, we board the shuttle to get to Vieux Port. Not too exciting, although Aidan spots train tracks on our way out- he is super excited!


Monday: Villefranche


Our agenda today: take the train to Nice. Aidan loves the tender ride- our ship is simply too large for the tiny little port of this small town. We run like nobody's business to the train station because the train is coming in 12 minutes: my parents insist that I shouldn't run because of my delicate condition...I think it is because they are way out of shape and they don't want to run! Anyway, we barely make it to the platform but cannot buy the tickets. Fortunately for me, my sister speaks/reads French. She promptly informs me that the ticket machine has determined that my credit card is 'dead.' The train pulls up, we make the command decision to get on without tickets and beg for mercy... But the conductor is no where in sight, and we get off two stops later, and I suppose France is cheated out of 14 Euros. We walk around, see beautiful pastries, send my parents and sister on their merry way and we head back to the ship for, you guess correctly, nap time.

Tuesday: Livorno
Today is a big day- we are docking at Livorno and then taking the train to Florence! I am so excited that I hardly slept last night. There are many reasons why I don't sleep well these days: pregnancy related hormones, anxiety, jet lag, Aidan, sleeping too much during nap time, and the ship rocking too much. With all these possibilities, it is hard to get a good night of rest. Alas, I have made peace with the fact that I am just not going to be sleeping well for the next 18 years. With that in mind, I actually don't mind tossing and turning too much anymore. Anyway, the race to the train was quite exciting. Our party has grown: we now have 8 adualts and 3 kids. With so many of us, I worry if we all get to do what we want to do. Aidan finds the train station a blast. After getting to Florence, we see the Duomo- and I am wistful that climbing up those 346 steps is out of the question for now, alas, we will have to come back. We lunch at a hole-in-a-wall panini place, dine at a piazza, where Aidan promptly drops half of his sandwich and says, "birds eat it." We then split up into 2 groups: the food group and the sightseeing group. We then find this amazing gelato place, here we are salivating over all the gelato flavors. Aidan picks orange chocolate, which we all agree is quite tasty. We do some shopping, and then, Hubby gets lured away by the idea of taking some more photos of the Duomo. We decide to meet up at the market by Piazza San Lorenzo. But then, my sister and I, with Aidan falling asleep in the stroller, GET LOST! It is impossible to navigate while becoming hysterical with the idea of missing the train, then the cruise ship, and never seeing one's husband ever again... I run over quite a few people with the stroller, and my sister is calmly trying to tell me that Hubby will meet us at the train station. We finally get to the train station and voila, there is Hubby, with newly purchased water, waiting for us. I yell and gesture like a true Italian about him leaving us... Aidan sleeps through all of this, thankfully. I can't imagine doing this with a screaming toddler in tow.
You think the highlight of the day would be over...but no. We catch a taxi with some other cruisers at the train station, and as the driver zips through Livorno's narrow streets very aggressively, I get a sinking, or rather, rising, feeling in my gut. I fight it, I open the window, I start to get cold sweats, and I hyperventilate a little, and just as we pull into the parking lot, I barfed, all over Aidan and myself. The woman sitting next to me looks horrified... I apologize, blame the pregnancy, and get out. Thankfully, the vomit was all on Aidan and me, not on the taxi...

Wednesday: Civitivecchia
Another big day, for Rome! My dad decide not to go, because we have already worn him out. My mom, sisiter, and the three of us set out on our own. We encounter difficulty right off the ship: no cab will take us to the train station, they are looking for big $ with a full day in Rome. I don't think so! We finally get to the train station, and by now, hardly anyone is happy. We yell and gesture like Italians on the train platform. I think Aidan thinks we have all lost our minds... Anyway, we get to Roma San Pietro stop and hop off. This is our day: a day in the Vatican. Lucky for us, it is Wednesday, and that means the Pope does mass in St. Peter's square, and that equals to huge crowds. We proceed to see the Sistine Chapel. We stand in line, we pay our admission- the Catholic church is getting rich! And we are hurded through the Vatican Museum like cattle, or perhaps, it is like shopping at IKEA: it is an one way trip. I keep thinking that the chapel is coming up soon, it has to come soon, but no, room after room after room, no chapel. Aidan tells me he is hungry. My stomach tells me I am hungry. I want to mow down all those tourists and get out! By the time we are in the chapel, I am thinking, "this is great stuff, whatever, are we done yet?!" We finally make our way out, after a 2 hour expedition, and we find the most tasty pasta lunch ever. Yum. After lunch, we try to go see the Basilica, but thanks to the Pope, the line to see it wraps around the entire square. We give up. Get some gelato and make our way back to the train station.

Thursday: Naples
Today's goal: eat some good Italian food. We make our way to their shopping district, nearly losing our lives because we are pedastrians. Future note: Naples is not made for walking. Aidan is a good sport, especially after we find him an Italian fire engine to play with. We try to shop, but what can a pregnant woman buy for herself? No winter clothes this year, since nothing fits. My feet have gotten bigger, so no point in buying shoes for just the next 5 months. I don't know what to buy for the new baby, since we do have a ton of baby clothes already. Aidan finds Italian fashion just so-so, he is more interested int he mannequins. Alas, we find our way to lunch. We feast on the antipasti, gnocchi, pizza (with no cheese! and lots of seafood on top) and of course, proscuitto. After lunch, we find some dried pasta to take home. Now, brace yourselves, the saddest part of our trip is coming... We cross the street to get to the port. We walk side by side with me pushing Aidan's stroller. We chat, we talk about our lunch. Then, Hubby gets a few steps ahead of me, and I notice that his backpack is OPEN! AND HIS CAMERA IS GONE! I scream, "your camera is gone!" In under one minute, someone steals our treasured SLR camera! Hubby runs back, but to no avail. I start to cry, (I know, why?! It really is just a camera.) We process this for the rest of the day. We feel so violated. How does the thief know about the camera? Has the thief been spying on us, has s/he seen us taking photos in the AM at the port and putting the camera away? We are mad, yet, we realize that stealing is just like any other sin, and we sin against each other all the time, so why are we being so self righteous? It eventually boils down to this: we realize that the Italians don't care that there are pick-pockets at the port, stealing from tourists. Tourists who can't vote or complain. My dad also reports that someone tries to steal his wallet by sticking down a hand to his FRONT pocket, and my dad fights him off. Seriously, there is a big problem in Naples. We hate Naples. We are not coming back.

Friday: At Sea
I have not talked very much about the cruise ship itself, because it essentially comes down to these points:
Food
No cleaning
More food
and for Aidan, SHOWS! This little guy loves the shows. He even says, "dinner, then show, then bath, then sleep time." We only see three shows though, because the shows are so stimulating that then it takes Aidan an awful long time to go to sleep, and we have had quite a schedule to keep up with. Lucky for him, the shows we do see are so fun: figure skating, dancing, singing, and the acrobats! After the last show on the cruise ship, all the singers and dancers come out to sing together, and when they finish, Aidan cries, and says, "get back there and sing!" It is so sweet and cute. Here is Daddy rock climbing. Here is the whole traveling troop. Here are the counsins goofing off.

Saturday: Travel
We get up before the sun, eat the last bit of this amazing breakfast buffet, we sure are going to miss these little cute brioche! We get to the airport, eat our last bocadillo, get on our flight to London, and Aidan falls asleep. Actually, we all fall asleep. The difference is that Aidan sleeps through landing! Since our flight has been delayed for an hour, we are in a hurry to catch our connection. We run through the insane maze of security checks, and make it on the next plane. We have the good intentions of taking 1/2 hour shifts, but I fall asleep, and Hubby is left to his own devices. After lunch, I take over, while Hubby just zonked out. Aidan then falls asleep. We finally make it to SF, after thinking that this 10 hour flight feels so much longer than the 9 hour flight out. We find that our luggage are still in London. But who cares, we are home. We ride the cab. I am tired, hungry, with in combination with the driver being aggressive... I barf, with my head sticking out the window, and the vomit streaks across the cab... Oops. We get home. I feel disgusting and embarrassed. The driver is MAD. Hubby gives him a big tip to get his car washed. I say, "At least the vomit is ALL outside!" We drag our behinds inside the house, I call Tokie's for take out for Hubby and Aidan to pick up. I jump in the shower, thinking that I am so tired, I might pass out in the shower...
Phew! What a whirwind! We are very happy to be back at home.
The details of our trip will have to wait...because, the fridge is empty, and there are about two tons of dirty laundry to be conqured.
The only thing I have to report for now, is that, I am surprised to find out that I am already 16 weeks into my pregnancy. It is the strangely funny, that I cannot remember how far along I am. This sort of happened with Aidan. However, with him, I had the luxury of reading about my progress weekly and taking notes, (although the notes are not the most detailed.) With this one, I think I am a certain number of weeks, then I check my pregnancy calendar on babycenter.com, and I am way off. I am not sure if being farther along is good news or bad news. Good news that the baby is growing and I am be pregnant for not much longer, the bad news, well, one cannot hear a fetus cry...
Off to the store I go!

Friday, October 06, 2006

The Contrast

What a trip! We departed our beloved home for Barcelona on Wednesday. In comparison to Sydney, this plane ride was, well, too short. Once the plane was airborne, we were served drinks, then dinner, then duty free goods. They finally turned off the house lights THREE hours into our 9 1/2 hour journey. Then, two hours prior to landing, then lights came back up for breakfast. That was just mean. Aidan only got to sleep for about 4 hours...so tired. And seriously, who would need to eat every four hours when all one could do is sit?!
We also had a very mean flight attendant. She was quite sassy and rude. We heard her say, "I only have two arms" when someone made a request. Then, when Aidan made a temporary nest on the floor, she shamed us. "That is just not safe! He can't reach the oxygen and it is so dirty down there." Well, we would grab him if oxygen masks came, ANd, if it is so dirty down there, maybe you all should clean it! She obviously had no first hand experience with traveling with a toddler. Perhaps she will have a colicky child someday and wish she could take back all these things!
Having Aidan with us totally paid off at Heathrow. We got a special line to us for security- they fast track families with small kids! AWESOME!
Then, our flight attendant to Barcelona was so sweet. She didn't wake us up for a snack, thankfully, AND, when we did wake up, she said, "you poor things, you looked so tired." That, was what we needed! Not shame.
So we are here, a little jet lagged, but met up with my parents and sister. Let's hope no family fights break out...

Monday, October 02, 2006

Too Many Choices

After nap time yesterday, we were unsure what to do to entertain ourselves and Aidan. Daddy thought it might be fun to check out our city's Octoberfest. I wanted to make a trip to Whole Foods, under the pretense of buying fruit, but really to check out their hot deli and get something yummy. So, the plan was that I would drive the boys and drop them off, then they would just walk home. Disappointingly, the Octoberfest looked like no fun at all. Spontaneously, the boys were going to tag along with me. By then, we were all too hungry to make the extra 2 mile drive to Whole Foods. The alternative was Safeway... The idea was that we would go to the bakery and get something yummy. I had forgotten that Aidan had actually never really grocery shopped with me, ever. (The beauty of a working mom.) We went in, and even I was overwhelmed by all the choices! Why do they put all sorts of junk up front?! Anyway, Aidan saw cases and cases of ice-cream, and declared that he wanted some of that. We told him, "no ice-cream right now, no serving bowls, no spoons, we're getting something else." I show him some baked Lay's, he did not seem enthused. (And really, there had to be a better alternative than homogenized potato starch...) As we walked through the deli, Aidan was enticed by...of all things... tomato mozzarella salad. I was enticed by fried chicken. Daddy was enticed by dinner rolls. We sure make strange snack choices... We had a lovely picnic on the benches, until, Aidan saw some babies, stood up, and spilled his salad on the floor. He cried and said, "birds eat it." We considered just picking it up and giving it to him, really, what would be so bad about dirt? Alas, a line had to be drawn, and we were so far beyond the line, we couldn't see the line! Daddy went back and bought more salad for him.
When do we stop wanting things like tomatoes for snack? I hope Aidan will always want tomatoes for a snack. Yum.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Friday, September 29, 2006

It is finished!

I am so excited to report: I survived this week of terminations and finished residency! Phew! This week had been busy and full. I got taken out to lunch daily, charted more than I have ever done in my entire life, and said good-byes. I also cried more than a new born baby... This afternoon, after finishing up all patient care related issues, I packed up my office. It mounted to four boxes of books/articles/stuff, a lamp, and a foot stool. A colleague helped me to shove it all in the trunk, and I stayed later at work than I have ever done on a Friday. Actually, I noticed that I stayed late at work all week- I suppose I part of me just didn't want to go! I turned in my pager and keys, and felt like I was getting booted. Finally, I walked out with a new plant from a dear colleague and my purse... Then, this part of my life was just, over...

Funny thing was that I got in my car then, and went to Aidan's school. The little guy spotted me from across his playground and came RUNNING to the fence! He gave me a big, wet, kiss, and ran to the classroom door to wait for me. He then reminded me that, "we're go to Daddy's office! Then CalTrain!" And off we went! The evening ended with a feast at Hotaru's, a lovely Japanese place not too far away from home. Aidan discovered salmon sashimi. Yum!

It is just such a huge contrast- my work life and my home life. This next phase will be interesting...

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

World's Strangest Job

I have the strangest job in the entire world. This is a fact. Hubby agrees with me. And I think you will too.

I had my 'exit interview' yesterday with my program director. As we reviewed my file to be sure that all my paperwork was in order, I realized that I had been attached to this program one way or another for six Septembers! Then we discussed what I had learned, how I had changed...etc, I could not help myself but cry. Seriously, I had cried in this man's office more than I cry at home! Who else goes to their boss' office and cry, routinely?! I thought I made him tear up too- one can't be certain, but he did get a tissue and dabbed his eyes.

It has been very hard saying good-bye to something I have known and counted on for so long. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to be able to say, "I am done with training." However, for even longer than I remember, I have been in training. It is an unknown world out there! I have more good-byes for Thursday and Friday... Come next Monday, I will not have my usual commute, I will not go back to my little no-window-but-good-for-napping office, and I will probably never see my patients again. And that, is very sad. I will remember the stuff that these people have told me over the years- probably things they have not told anyone else. Just a sample of how weird my job is, these are the questions I have asked, some more frequently than others:

"What do you mean, dry humping?"

"What does 'stalking' mean to you?"

"I thought urination is not possible while the penis is erect."

"It is probably wise to check your credit score to be sure that your parents have not stole your identity."

"What would happen if he skipped a meal and you let him go hungry?"

"Any thoughts of hurting yourself?"

What am I going to say to Aidan when he asks me what I do for a living?!

Monday, September 25, 2006

Dreams

Nearly all my dreams have revolved around food. Last night, I dreamed about going to a Trader Joe's-like grocery story, only it was much, much bigger, two floors, with amazing tasting stations. It was all so yummy. However, the visit to this delicious dream did not end on a happy note: I had wanted to buy this particular loaf of bread to make rotisserie chicken sandwiches, however, they RAN OUT this bread! And that, completely symbolized my relationship with food these days...

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Exhausted

All members of the Kwok household have been exhausted this past week. Aidan is exhausted because his new classroom is just so fun. The children are spending a lot more time outside, their play yard is much bigger, and Aidan loves to scoot around on a bike and that, is hard work. His bedtime actually has been moved to an earlier time, blessed 8 pm, and that has made a huge difference- he is so much more agreeable about bath/story/potty. He has realized that he needs to go potty before putting on his very cute Thomas the Tank Engine pajamas if he wants the pjs to stay dry until AM. Who knew Thomas can be such a motivator?

Daddy has been exhausted working and taking care of us. Then last night, when we went out to dinner, he took Aidan to the bathroom to wash hands while I ordered dinner for us. I ended up ordering what I have been craving: all appetizer type food, like dumplings, and there was essentially nothing for him to eat...very sad.

I am just exhausted from trying to wrap things up at work. Just FIVE more business days of being a resident... This termination has been much more difficult than I imagined. Since this is my first job, I honestly don't know if ending a job is always stressful. I have thought that since one is leaving, there would be no new work coming down the pipeline and so there ought to be less to do in the last week. Unfortunately for me, saying good-bye to my patients, many of whom I have worked with for three years, has been very difficult. They either, a. thank me endlessly and make me feel guilty for leaving them behiind, b. tell me horrible things about their lives that I can't possibly fix and thus giving me their awful feelings anyway, c. they simply just don't show up! Then, I have to try to track them down and say good-bye via phone... I can't decide which one is more painful. Alas, it will be over in five business days...

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Things to be Proud of

The other day, we made a trip to Costco. After watching the workers fix tires, we finally went and spent our hard earned money. I was strangely enticed by this display of mediterranean food: little personal pizzas in packs of three, and various pastries, you mix and match 3 items for $12. The pizzas were fairly yummy, but the pastries were dry, dry, dry! Nonetheless, I felt the carbs calling out to me, and packed up my three items. At the check out line, while waiting for the boys to come back, I looked at this enormous bag of carbs, and thought, seriously, what are you doing? Then I put it all back. While riding in the car, I told Hubby about this, and was very proud of myself for 1. not buying things that will for sure go bad before a family of three can eat it all, and 2. resisting carbs. Hubby agreed. Then over dinner, I again said that I was hugely proud of my self-restraint. A day later, I brought this up again. At this point, Hubby laughed and said that he thought this was quite a strange incident to be so proud of. He thought that I should be proud of finishing up residency in a week, instead, I was perseverating about these little pizzas...

Perhaps my battle with carbs/weight gain had reduced my brain cells to focus on resisting carbs and not much else...


Wednesday, September 20, 2006

The Cost of Raising a Child

The Wall Street Journal (the BEST paper EVER) publishes their annual ratings of business schools today. We are of course happy to see that Daddy's business school education is deemed #3 by the Journal, whatever that means. What is shocking, however, is the cost of education. It costs $40,000 in tuition and fees, $18,000 in room and board to go to Columbia Business School this year. Who can afford that?! Back in the day, we paid $40,000 for everything, and we thought we were getting robbed. Our senior year of private undergraduate education costed $26,000 for room, board, tuition, fees, books, and whatever. It felt like a huge jump then to pay $40,000 for graduate school. How did we ever survive two years of double negative income? Whenever we talk about Aidan's education, we shudder. I figure it will cost us $140,000 for our two children's prekindergarten days. Perhaps it isn't too much, considering a fulltime nanny would cost at least $50,000 annually. Who knows how much college will be by the time Aidan goes- in 2022. Assuming an 8% increase annually, compounding that... That means, college tuition doubles every 9 years, so tuition is going to quadruple by the time Aidan goes?! That is just... All I can say is, Aidan will either

A: Be very smart and go on merit scholarships

B: Be very poor and go on financial scholarships

C: Be very athletic and go on sports scholarships

D: Not go to college

E: Make his own money and go to college

Then, when it comes to graduate school, he has two options.

A: Go with his own money

B: Not go

Maybe, Jesus will come before then and all this is moot. One can only hope...

Monday, September 18, 2006

Aidan Says...

These are the funny things Aidan has been saying.

Us: "Aidan, are you a person?"

A: "NO! PEOPLE!"

Us: "What? You are a whole people?"

A: "Yeah."

A: "Aidan has gas."

Me: yelling in the car about bad drivers...

A: "Dude!"

A: "I don't think so!"

Us: "Aidan, do you like strawberries or do you like cantalopes?"

A: "No, trains!"

This morning.

A: "Open fridge! See!"

Me: "What? Why do you need to see the fridge?"

A: "Open!"

So I open the fridge. He points to Canadian bacon. He points to yogurt, he points to fruit.

Me: "Aidan, you have all these for lunch. What do you want for breakfast?"

A: "Joe's O's. Raisins."

He is so funny.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Food

While I know that "Man cannot live on bread alone," these days, I spend a lot of my waking hours thinking about food, especially how to eat it to minimize barfing. I am even dreaming mostly about food.

This is a recurring dream these past few weeks: A BIG HAMBURGER! A thick medium-well done patty, on fluffy toasted buns, with lots of lettuce and tomato, and of course, tasty French fries on the side. With a pickle too. I dream that I eat the entire entree, and still have room for dessert. I have been eating a lot of burgers in real life. I even get one when we were at Bonfante Gardens. I take the boys to In-N-Out after church, and I essentially had two burgers, and probably could have eaten another one. Aidan had 3/4 of a burger on his own, and that meant Daddy went hungry... Maybe it isn't just about the burgers. Perhaps it is any kind of stuff in a bun. I have been thinking about the Egg McMuffin without cheese since this morning. I have driven to McDonald's twice in the past few weeks to get one after I take Aidan to school. It is a trip full of inconvenient left turns, but I make the trips anyway. I make veggie burgers at home. Yum!

I am also thinking a lot about glutinous rice. Congee. Burrito rice. Spicy chicken bento box from Tapioca Express http://www.tapiocaexpress.ws/home.htm YUM!

Seriously, I am thinking so much about food. I am also realizing that I need to eat most of my food by 5 pm, because after that, if I eat a significant meal, I increase the likelihood of barfing by 10 pm. I don't know why- is my GI tract slowing down THAT much after the fateful hour of 5? Who knows?

All this, while trying to not gain so much weight that I have another gigantic newborn. Last time, I gained about 42 pounds... YIKES! Aidan was 9 pounds at birth. My OB thinks that if I can limit my weight gain to 35 pounds this time around, my chances of delivering am 8 pounder is higher. So, I am obsessively trying to balance giving into my dreams of carbs and protein, while maintaining my weight. I sometimes feel like the more watchful I am about my weight, the worse it gets, and that it takes up so much of my mental energy, that it is simply not worth it. Then I think about popping out a 9 pounder... Can't win this at all. Maybe this is the beginning of parenthood that I should have recognized last time: Can't win it all.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

BRING IT ON!

So I have been hanging on to some news, some what eager to share, yet not ready to face the inevitable... We are expecting our second child, due in March, to be exactly three years apart from Aidan...

It has been interesting comparing the two pregnancies.

With Aidan, I could not find words to share the news with people at work yet wanted to tell all our friends and family. I was tired, but not exhausted. I ate fine, craved chow mein, sat on the couch everyday after work and watched The Nanny. I slept fine. I vomitted a few times. Overall, no big deal with the pregnancy. I had thoughts about how to decorate the nursery. We bought Aidan's crib and bedding when I was six weeks pregnant. We went on walks. I did prenatal yoga.

This time around, I don't care that people at work know that I am pregnant... I have 18 business days remaining in my residency training! However, I rather not discuss this pregnancy when Aidan is close by. I am exhausted, I can sleep 12 hours a day if given the chance. I can't stand vegetables. I just want to eat carbs, and more carbs, and more carbs. I hate room temperature drinks. I have barfed more than I care to admit. There is no sitting on the couch after work. We don't even have TV reception anymore. I don't go on walks anymore. I can't remember ever having energy to do prenatal yoga. I am thinking that maybe we will set up the crib after my contractions start, if we are lucky. Maybe the baby will sleep in the pack and play for a while, and that only takes minutes to set up. We do need a new diaper pack and a new diaper genie for sure. I perseverate how how to tell Aidan, where he will go when I go deliver this new knobbin'. Mostly, I worry about the TRUE end to my 'freedom.'

I mourned the loss of my adult independence after Aidan was born. That took a while... Now, I have found a new 'mommy freedom' with a child who is easy going, who plays somewhat independently, who naps predictably, who tells me what he wants...etc. And ALL THAT, is going to be gone in just another 29 weeks, at most. I fully realize that parenting is, to quote a supervisor of mine, 'two sane people giving up their sanity for a completely dependent being.' At the same time, 'more pain, more joy.' But really, do I know what I am getting myself into?

The adjustments we have made in preparation: GETTING MORE HELP. I will take any type of help, help we pay for, help we don't pay for, whatever, I will take it.

So I say, BRING IT ON!

Monday, August 28, 2006

Spoke Too Soon

Alas, there is poop all over my house!!!

I think this is what happened. Aidan had a small bowel movement the second time he made the puddle, and didn't tell me. I was in such shock over the proximity of the puddle to my rug, that I didn't examine the underwear...and really, who wants to examine underwear, ever? I threw the underwear in the wash, I know, I should have rinsed it first... And then ran the wash, and there was poop on that pair of underwear, so there was poop particles ALL over that load of laundry, and when I took out that load of laundry, poop IS ALL OVER MY laundry closet, and obviously, that load needed to be rewashed, but how long, will my laundry facility be occupied by various poop particles? THIS IS SO GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is on par with dissecting the abdomen in gross anatomy: We had to resect all the bowel, all 12 feet of it...and you guessed it, the bowel was filled with POOP, and it was GROSS!!!!


Saturday, August 26, 2006

You Choose

It has been almost two weeks since Aidan found his new ability to micturate on command at bedtime. We consult his ever-so-experienced teacher at school: this woman raised FOUR boys and has been a teacher for this age group for >10 years! We also read up on the subject of toilet training, writings from Dr. Brazelton, Ms. Iovine, all the experts that fill up our bookshelves. It is abundantly clear that this has to be something that Aidan chooses to do. It is possible that he fights us so much that he holds on to his poop enough that he can give himself painful fissures! Yikes! We formulate our game plan: that we will try this weekend to see how it goes. We buy him adorable Elmo underwear, we talk about it, and Daddy and I have nightmares about this.

Last night, after finishing LOST, the first season on DVD, we go to bed, with brains full of unfortunate, negative stuff. I dream that Aidan regurgitatesall his food, and refuses to use the potty. Daddy dreams that we have Aidan's poop ALL over the house... Clearly, we are very freightened. I think, potty training requires all parties to be ready, and we are quite intimated and unprepared. Most milestones in Aidan's life so far, he just goes with it, and we catch up. He just starts to walk and then we scramble to child-proof the house. He just starts to sleep through the night, and we follow suit. This, however, is totally different. We can 'influence' him... Babies in China are potty trained at ONE YEAR OF AGE! Do their neurons mature that much faster?

Alas, this morning, after Aidan is up, we show him the potty. We remove the nighttime diaper, and we say bye to diapers during the day. (The plan is to use diapers for nighttime, indefinitely...) We admire how cute he is in his big boy underwear. Ten minutes later, "MOMMY! POOP! PEE!" There is a puddle in his room... I lift him up, take him to the potty, where he finishes. We mop up the urine, and I wonder if the whole house is going to smell like ammonia by the end of the day. I make peace with the fact that my lovely couch will no longer be lovely, and that we are getting new furniture when the toilet training phase of my life is over... We leave the pants off, for easy access, although Daddy suggests that it may be 'safer' for the poop-everywhere scenario if he wears pants. We end up deciding that easy access is key. So, we eat breakfast, and as I am cleaning up, I wonder, should I ask him if he wants to go? I decide though, that it has only been 30 minutes, who urinates THAT frequently? While my mind is still on this, Aidan runs to me, "ALL WET!!! ALL WET!!!" Lucky for us, this new puddle is on our laminate flooring, just an inch away from our new rug... We again, run up stairs, and he finishes in the potty. He desperately wants off the potty and asks for a diaper. I gladly put on his diaper, and we agree, that when he is good and ready, he is going to tell us.

I am relieved... 1. No more chasing wet puddles. 2. There never was piles of poop in the house. 3. Aidan didn't regurgitate all his food. 4. No fissures. 5. The inevitable is postponed for another day...

Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Weekend Routine

It seems that we are onto a new routine for weekends. It involves shift work, for Daddy and me. As much as we both want to be together with Aidan, it is just not very efficient use of energy. Being that we are in this for the LOOOOONG haul, we have decided to divide and conquer. Lucky for me, Daddy loves to be with Aidan, especially because I get to be with Aidan more during the week.
This weekend, the boys go out on Saturday morning, after sleeping in and eating a hearty breakfast. Where do they go? Wherever. The goal is to wear Aidan out so that he will take a long nap. Daddy is very diligent about UV protection, which is a very good thing. Daddy usually calls me for a pickup just before lunch. This Saturday, they go to a park and Aidan enjoys the swing very much. They come home, eat lunch, and we all go take a nap. This weekend is a special weekend, because the fair is still here! I take my lovely boys, drop them off, and while I run some errands (my kind of fun), they are having their kind of fun. We meet up at the fair for dinner, Aidan eats TWO corn dogs. Yum. And we use his all-day wristband to our hearts' content.
On Sunday, we go to church. Drop offs for Aidan's nursery is becoming easier and easier. He just has so much fun. We go home, eat lunch, and you guess correctly- we all go down for a LONG nap. After nap time, we make it to the library just before they close and get Aidan some new and interesting books. We go join the mobs trying to buy 50% off sushi at a local Japanese grocery store... happen to see my boss...quick hide, no need for him to see me in the mob pushing and shoving. We catch sights of the trainx3! Head home, eat lots of sushi, and before we know it, it is bed time, for Aidan, and soon, for us.
I suppose it is not so much divide and conquer, as it is just Daddy conquering.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Is It Really Time?

Last night, after his bathtime, Aidan goes to his room to get his diaper on, then his jammies, and in general, gets ready for bed. However, instead of going on his mat, he says, "pee pee!" and runs back to the bathroom, he spontaneously sits down on his little training potty, and looks at us. We think, alright, how long is this going to take? Really, we are tired... I sit in his room and calls out to Daddy, who is supervising, "Honey, does he know what to do?" Daddy says, "well, he is trying to point his penis down..." So we wait. Aidan stands up, looks in the potty, and to our surprise, there is actually fluid in there! We give him lots of high-fives and "GOOD JOB!" and convince him to leave the potty alone and to go get his jammies on.

Wow, is it time that our little one is ready to be free of the diaper? Am I ready? To be honest, while diapers are $$$! and it is not fun changing them, at least I don't have to run around and try to find a bathroom every hour when we are out. The carpet is clean, the seats are dry...etc. We have been quite blase about potty training him. Why give up my current freedom in exchange of the unknown? Therefore, Aidan's potty sits in the bathroom, empty, and gets used as a stepping stool (no pun intended!) Alas, I think the little one may be getting ready...

Growing up so fast...

Saturday, August 12, 2006

The Fair!

We love the San Mateo County Fair. We have been going to the fair every summer since we moved back here, and every year, it has been a different experience.

2002: I am given two free tickets by an attending from the hospital. Her children always enter the baking contests and are given these tickets. Hubby and I go check out the fair after work. We park for free at Hubby's work, get in for free, see a piglet race, and heard 1000 Maniacs all for free- famous people come to San Mateo! We also find a funnel cake stand, yum. (The first time I had a funnel cake was at the Westchester County Fair...that is another story.)

2003: We buy our own tickets. Unfortunately, I am tired and nauseous from being pregnant with Aidan. We talk extensively about how much fun our baby will have coming to the fair, to see the big animals, the junk food, the rides...can't wait.

2004: We go with Aidan, who is five months old. Let's just say that it is difficult to go while he is awake! I think he is a three-naps-a-day kind of baby at this point. We go in the mid afternoon, right after his nap, he sits on a goat, has an okay time, and then screams for a good while before falling asleep in his stroller- because he is not a stroller-napping kind of guy. We manage to see some divers though.

2005: We buy our tickets early on-line, and try to get our small group to go. Alas, all the babies nap at different times and I end up selling the extra tickets on the street. Aidan enjoys the piglets a little bit more- although he appears quite confused about why these animals run in circles.

2006: Our >36 inches friend is ready for the rides! We go on opening day and we buy an all-you-can-ride band for Aidan. It is somewhat disappointing in the beginning- very few rides for the folks in between 36-42 inches! He goes on this ride that makes very quick turns- we are standing off to the side, we see his seat belt fly off- and the operator does NOTHING! Aidan looks concerned, then breaks into a big smile. We have an adrenaline junkie! We can hardly wait for the ride to be over, but Aidan enjoys it immensely. We eat the usual fried goods. We see piglets run around. And then Aidan discovers two rides that come with very BIG SLIDES! He has so much fun. We take turns going with him. We are only able to leave the fair because we promise Aidan that we have one more ticket to come another time.
















Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Marriage

So I know I spend a lot of time thinking about the little guy in our house. I suppose some time devoted to the big guy, in light of THE BIGGEST GUY (God) is in order.

Yesterday, we had dinner with a friend. It was suppose to be dinner with two friends who are engaged to each other. Alas, the fiance was stuck in Vegas, for his bachelor party, and so only the fiancee could come. We love this woman. She is just the perfect match for our friend, whom we have known for, goodness, six years! Anyway, we talked about their upcoming nuptials, the benefits of children, and of couse, SEX. She told us about a workshop that Redeemer Presbyterian Church had not too long ago, where Tim Keller and his wife, Kathy, talked openly about sex, and other issues in marriage. We could hardly wait to download it and listen. We learned so much about the Gospel through the teachers of Tim Keller when we lived in NYC and hearing that familiar voice always makes me nostalgic, not just of NYC, but of our child free days.

Anyway, Tim and Kathy always say that married life without children is simply being on a very long date. I can't agree more. Truly, it is not until one has children, that issues about submission, service, forgiveness...etc become all the more real. It is interesting, (yet so obvious!) that marriage is all about ministry, that the husband and wife minister to one another. So that while I am to submit to Hubby, in no way am I ministering to him if by submitting, I would be allowing him to continue in his sin patterns! Similarly, sex is also a ministry! Tim and Kathy both say that there needs to lots of it, in marriage, and it is about the other's pleasure. It brings me to this interesting point, that Kathy and Tim talked about how it took many, Many, MAny, MANy, MANY years to them to be really good at sex. Therefore, I suppose Hubby and I are no where near it?!

It is also absolutely clear, that Hubby and I had no IDEA what we were getting into when we married. We were in LOVE, in our very early twenties, and fortunately, by the grace of God, married each other. I am thankful I did not marry a person who makes me submit to him, and I can say that Hubby is happy he married me. In his words earlier this evening, "Thank God I did not marry a wench." Not that I am perfect, but we are just perfect for one another. It is daunting though, that we are still doing the "easy stuff." Sure, we have a child, but one child is still simpler than two, and Aidan is still small enough that we can drag him away from danger, we all are healthy, and we don't have too many day to day worries. It is the part of the vow, that talks about sickness, poor, worse, that I know will inevitably come, that makes me wonder, how/what will we do? Alas, like it is inscribed in our weddind rings, Romans 8:37-39, "In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."


Monday, August 07, 2006

Names

Aidan is learning how to say people's names, and it is very endearing. It is key to have a simple name, first of all. He says Abby, Anna, Loma (for Paloma), Awel (for Avel), WoWo (for Gabriel...), Dena, Erin, Emy (for Emily), Sean, Rowan, JuJu (for Judy)...etc. SO CUTE! He likes to tell people to "COME HERE!" even to the squirrels. Of course, they don't come and it is very sad.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Funny!

Aidan's school has a 'Crazy Day' ever so often- where the kids/teachers dress up in very strange outfits. Sometimes, they havce 'Pajama Day' and those are always very cute. I scratch my head for a long time and come up with this outfit, which Aidan's beloved Juju added a smiling face to the belly, although it is hard to see as the paint comes off after a while. He is wearing a shirt that he wore when he was 2 months old, back when it was long sleeved...

We come home and we line up most of his transportation methods- there are some in our cars, in his bag, and perhaps never to be found. Alas, here are just a sample of Aidan's massive collection.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

  • Car Trouble

    Cars, you can't live with them, you can't live without them. We have had a lot of car repairs this past year. My car needed new suspension, Daddy's car needed new something or other, then I rear ended someone, the whole front exterior of the car got replaced, which then involved dropping the car off for a whole week, getting a rental car, returning the rental car, picking up the car, dealing with insurance...blah, blah, blah. Daddy's car needed a new boot, or something with the steering, and then he had a flat tire, then I got a flat tire.

    I am very much missing the days of taking public transportation...

    I figure Aidan would love watching our tire gets patched and fixed- I mean, he asks to watch at Costco whenever we are there. He shows us, 'this way', when we are even in the vicinity. So, I take advantage of my fairly free morning, and take him to Costco. The plan is to get there before they open, so we're first in line, get it fixed, and get to school by 10. WISHFUL THINKING! Turns out, the tire center opens at 10. Someone fails to show up to work, so even though we're #2, the whole thing will take at least an hour. Evidently, contrary to my assumption, Aidan does NOT like watching HIS car get fixed. It worries him too much that the tire is so far away from the actual car, and that the car guy spins the wheel and who knows what else! The entire time, Aidan repeatedly expresses his extreme concern...while we're in the hot sun, watching the patch dry... And, because all the work needs to be verified by another worker- it becomes problematic when there is NO other worker... Seriously, this leaves something to be desired.

    Alas, at 11, our car is fixed, Aidan hops in, we get to school, and Aidan tells his teachers about our ordeal with a very concerned face.

    God willing, no more car troubles for a LONG while!


  • A Very Long Day

    I have eight weeks and three days of residency left. When is this EVER going to end? Today has been a very, very, long day. I get to supervision at 8 am-bright eyed and pushy tailed. It is simply a super supervision session. I am still learning so much- which brings me to the frightening thought: WHAT AM I EVER GOING TO DO AFTER RESIDENCY?! (Fear not, general population, I am planning on paying for supervision.) Then onto clinic. Then a brief staff meeting, and then I drive back to the hospital. When I get out of my newly repaired car, I hear a very loud hiss. I look around and find this humongous nail stuck in my tire... Bummer. I call my Knight, but am unable to locate him. I go to a class about psychotherapy, finding that while I have learned a lot these past four years, I am still a novice, AND, my basic question of how a person can actually change without Christ nags me to no end. We have process group, which deserves its own blog, except that the issues in process group is confidential. Let's just say that 'the goal of process group is to learn group process.' What does that mean? Do I know more about group process 43 business days prior to the end of my training? Yikes. During group, my Knight calls me, who reminds me that we pay for roadside assistance. So a different knight show up to swap my tires. After group, we resume our psychotherapy class. I finally leave the hospital at 5, drive no more than 50 mph to get Aidan.

    I have not seen this little guy since last night! He looks bigger, cuter, and well, smarter. He enjoys his snack of Goldfish crackers, which he calls "Sheesh daraders", we use the timer, leave school in five minutes, get on the freeway, frown at the traffic, watch the "Heweecopter," and "Airpain, ZOOM!" Finally, we make it home, my Knight is already there. The problem then come up, that yesterday, when Aidan wanted to go swimming after we got home, we couldn't go because we had company over for dinner, and we had agreed that we would go swimming today (because I forgot I had a FULL day scheduled...) So, Daddy and Aidan set off for the pool, after much struggle with the very tight swim diaper, sunscreen, pool toy...and I start dinner. I discover that the world's most versatile creature, the ant, has invaded my pantry! Alas, no time to fuss with them now, must stick to the goal of making dinner. They come home at 6:30, Aidan proceeds immediately to being timed out for excessive complaining- bummer! We eat dinner. Aidan eats so much corn that I am feeling very afraid for tomorrow's big bowel movement, God willing, may it happen at school... I clean up, the boys play the game of 'sneaking up on mommy.' We play hiding and seek, and then it is bath time. Strangely, Aidan asked for 'one ren' (one person, his very own version of Chinglish) to dress him. I tell him about how Mommy's Mommy and Daddy used to discipline her when she was a baby. Aidan appears quite intrigued with the idea that Mommy was once a baby. He asks about 'daddy baby' and we tell him how Daddy used to get timed out all the time (truth? I am not sure) We kiss him goodnight.

    Then I clean out my pantry and find that the ants are trying to get into my jar of yummy fried shredded pork goodies, I take everything out, dump all the stuff that I once had fantasized about making, and sprinkle cinnamon along the edge.

    IT IS TIME FOR BED!


Friday, July 21, 2006

BOOT CAMP!

We have decided that Aidan has gone over the line. The line is so far behind him, that none of us can see it. It seems like he is becoming, well, wild. The days have become more difficult for us since he can run away more quickly. Our smart verbal distractions don't seem to work so well. Even Mr. Hippo is losing his magical powers of convincing Aidan to transition from one thing to the next.

This realization comes to me recently, after I cajole Aidan for a LONG time to convince him to go home with me and leave his friends behind. He screams, "NO HOME! NO HOME!" I say, "Mr. Hippo is going home, Daddy is home, we gotta go!" HE YELLS BACK, "NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!"

Fortunately for me, I am still more resourceful than he is. The next day, I borrow Aidan's classroom timer, I tell him he has five more minutes, and when the timer yells out "DING!" It is time for us to go. Ah. What audacity. After the timer dings, Aidan puts up a huge fight. I drag my screaming child out of the school, and into our car. We make it home, not in less time, but at least on my terms. I persist. The teachers persist with me. And from the second day on, his friends at school assist us! They see me, they see the timer, and they say, "Ding, Aidan go home." Aidan says, "Ding, home, mommy, bye." Ah. We achieve a beautiful equilibrium.

At home, Aidan still runs away from us, refuses to put on pants...etc. We rule with the IRON FIST! He screams, during his time outs, "NO TIME! NO TIME! NO TIME!" He hates being timed out so much, that the disobedient behavior evaporates immediately!

That brings us to the obvious question, "do we spank or not?" Interestingly, most professional organizations are somewhat silent about this issue. American Academy of Pediatrics, American Psychological Association, and Americah Psychiatric Association, all agree that spanking at school is an out, but they offer no opinions at home. Kaiser Permanente, on their handouts, strongly discourages spanking. James Dobson, at least when he wrote about this a decade ago, was pro-spanking. When we were kids, I was spanked whereas Whitman didn't really need to be spanked. Obviously, there is a temperament difference. But where does Aidan fall? In all the readings I have done, it talks about spanking only when the parent isn't mad- but I am always mad when I want to spank him! When I am not mad, I don't see how spanking would help. So do I need to be more detached about this? Interestingly, none of my colleagues spank...what does that say about my profession and parenting?

For now, I pray that Aidan has Daddy's temperament and will not need spanking...


Saturday, July 15, 2006

AHHHH! The Way It Used To Be

After coming back from Australia, I finally figure out that one of the reasons I have not been sleeping well in the last two years is that our bedroom is simply too bright in the early AM hours. We have a lovely east facing window, and a full wall of mirrors (for the closet) on the other side of the wall. The sunlight streams in, bounces off the mirrors, and then bursts through my closed eyelids, to wake me up. You would figure that with two people who have graduate degrees, we would have figured this out long ago. In a way, we have done something about it. Our window has a sheer layer (you know, for the pottery barn look), a lovely solid layer, (for actual privacy), and a blackout shade in between these two layers. Still, it is super bright. I ask my beloved engineer/handyman to hang up some black garbage bags...just like the way we black out Aidan's room when we travel. Ahhh...I have been sleeping like a hibernating bear. My beloved, on the other hand, feels like a caged animal- he says he spends the first three hours of his day trying to wake up from lack of light. Alas, the differences between the two of us.

The other reason I have not been sleeping well, is well, my other beloved. Fortunately for us, the woes of him trying to adjust back to PST, to his new toddler bed, is now a faint memory. He is SO GOOD, that often times, when we go get him, he is awake, but just laying in bed, enjoying the peace and quiet. So good, that we have been wondering, 'how long has he been awake?' We ask Aidan to simply yell out Mommy or Daddy when he is up and the sun is up. However, I guess his blackout shades are so good that he thinks it is nighttime, forever...

This morning, I open my eyes at 8:43, (WOW! That is 9 1/2 hours of sleep! JUST like all the Saturdays before that fateful Ides of March in 2004!) I creep out of my room, since my Big Beloved is still asleep. I open Aidan's door, he pops up like a Jack in the Box, says 'All Done!' he comes to me, we go back to my room. Aidan sees Daddy is still asleep, so he says, 'shhhhh' and tucks Daddy back in. How cute is that?

For the moment, the grown ups in this house are sleeping the way we used to, and I can feel the 'freedom' coming as Aidan is becoming more independent. Yet, it feels like time to mix it up again, with a new baby. Do we really want to, this time, voluntarily, with a full understanding of the insanity of parenthood, forgo the luxury that is now upon us?

Oh, but who can resisit another one of this:






Monday, July 10, 2006

YIKES!

It is a lovely afternoon, the sun is out, the birds are chirping, Aidan and I decide to play with the water hose in our little patio after school. He is splashing the water everywhere, and I am admiring my little child, when I notice there are ants EVERYWHERE. Somehow, all the water is drawing out the ants, and they are climbing on Aidan, on me, and everything. We cut water time short and head inside. I carefully pick off the little critters from our clothes.

While we are playing with trucks, I hear a little flutter in my left ear. I say to myself, 'hmm, that is interesting, what is that? Is my hair tickling me? Never felt that before...' I quickly formulate a list of differential diagnosis: 1. water in my ear from swimming this morning, 2. ANT in my ear!!!! Yikes. I call Daddy, the call went to voice mail. I call him again, and again. On the third call, he picks up, I am hysterical: "COME HOME NOW! I HAVE AN ANT IN MY EAR!!!" Aidan by now is quite worried that I am freaking out. He panics, and I panic more. YIKES! We go look for my otoscope, fortunately, it is still charged. Of course, I can't look in my own ear, so we look in Aidan's. He is surprisingly cooperative about this. It is clear that this child needs to either go see his pediatrician to have his ear wax picked out, or we need to use the solution. All this time, I hear the little flutter in my ear...

I reminisce, or rather, try to distract myself, about the last patient I have worked with that had a bug in her ear. This was when I was still in school, going to some women's prison in NY to learn how to perform physical exams. This poor woman had something in her ear, the prison sent her to the ER, where she received a consult from an ENT resident, who declared she had NO foreign object in her ear. The internist and I find a dead moth three days later. We irrigated her ear canel and the moth came out in pieces... THAT POOR WOMAN, who had to endure the bug for days, and waited until it died. I can't even imagine...

Daddy gets back. I show him how to use the otoscope, and I am right- there is an ANT in my EAR! I leave the boys home and drive, frantically, to the ER. I use my badge to get in, find the MD on call, and tell him I have an ant in my ear and please do something! Dr. A looks in, confirms the findings, gets a pair of forceps, and gets the ant out. Phew. I get in my car and drive home. All this took just 20 minutes! For the first time in my entire life, I am thankful for what I do for a living! I mean, I have always enjoyed my work, but the work has never benefited ME! Sure, there was the private room after labor and delivery, but this, getting a bug out, in under 5 minutes, in a busy county ER, is just AWESOME!

It is now all quiet in my left ear... I am calling the exterminator first thing in the morning!

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

The Bane of the Fourth of July

So, I am all for celebrating the birth of our country. But I have had it!

It has been a tumultuous week since we came back from Australia. I have been fighting a cold, Aidan is transitioning out of his crib and into a toddler bed, and then we have a full weekend. He is finally going to bed, without weeping and not getting up because of jet lag. Then, the Fourth of July comes.

Aidan goes to bed at 8, and I have a fantasy of going to bed by 10 myself. But no. People start to fire off their ILLEGAL fireworks soon after. Aidan stays up, asking and crying about the "NOISE!" Then, at 9:30, the fireworks from our city starts. We loved this firework before Aidan came! It was GREAT, being able to see it from our place. Oh, how the times changed! I DESPISE this event now. Aidan screams about the "NOISE!" We decide that all is lost, and we take him outside to show him that the noise is no big deal. He actually enjoys the fireworks. We head back inside at 10. We settle him down, he is fairly agreeable to this, then the SIRENS for ambulance/fire truck start. We settle him back down, THEN THEY GO AGAIN for a total of THREE times! WHAT GIVES!?!?!?!?! I HATE THIS!!?!?!?!?!?!? It is now 10:30, and he is still crying about this. Obviously, the window is long gone. AND, people are still firing off their ILLEGAL firework! LAME!!!!!

You ask, what is the big deal? Just let him stay up, he will just sleep in! The big deal is, I HAVE TO GO TO WORK THE NEXT DAY! AND THAT MEANS AIDAN NEEDS TO GET UP AT 7:30, and if he doesn't, and I need to wake him up, then it takes us MUCH longer to get out of the house since he is unhappy about not getting enough sleep, then he is late to school, then I am late to work, and I HATE BEING LATE to work when there is someone waiting for me!!!!!

I tell Daddy, maybe it is time to move out of this city. He thinks I am thinking irrationally. Probably true.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

The Magical 35 Inches

I spent the afternoon reading about cribs/toddler beds...etc. Apparently, the magical number was 35 inches. When the child is greater than 35 inches, it becomes time to move as crib is no longer safe. Some how, children are secretly acrobats... Well, that boat SAILED for us months ago. I suppose we can count the good times that we had of keeping Aidan in his crib. And it is now time, to move on.

No wonder Pottery Barn Kids is such an attractive place to shop, a place where polyster is not welcome- I searched high and low for some train bedding. The Thomas the Tank Engine ones are relatively inexpensive, but they are made from more polyster than cotton! Is it even possible to make sheets from polyster? Though Thomas does have a PLASTIC toddler bed, for $250! My bed isn't even $250! New territory means new ways of spending $...
  • Jet Lag

    Perhaps I spoke too soon when I said that Aidan is back on PST. It had been five days since we came back, and for the first four nights, Aidan went to sleep at 8, woke up to complain about his cold, but in general, slept fine. Last night was a different story. He went to bed happily at 8, started to cry at 9:30, and was awake, in his crib, complaining on and off, until 1:30. OH LORD! HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO LAST?!

    What to do? When he first complained, I thought, do we go to comfort him, or not? Do we go in once, tell him to go to sleep, then not return? What would that accomplish? So, we chose to ignore the first cry at 9:30. It lasted about three minutes, then went away. Starting at 9:45, the crying became incessant. Daddy went in, told him that it was night time and he needed to go back to sleep. Daddy sat with him for five minutes, and left. Aidan cried. After ten minutes, the cries were much more desperate. I went in, told him to go to sleep and that no one is coming back until the light is out. He screamed when I left. Then, while I was complaining to Daddy about the situation, we heard, "DADDY! MOMMY!" then a big thud! The Charmer had ESCAPED his crib! Yikes. I ended up sitting next to him for another hour, until he fell asleep.

    The dilemma of parenthood: never knowing what is going on. Was he awake because he was 1. jet lagged, 2. teething, 3. sick, 4. being spiteful? What gives? What was the right thing to do, 1. hold him, 2. sit with him, 3. ignore him? And in what permutation would this work? What does it mean for his psyche?

    What was Jesus like as a toddler? Did He have nights that he complained? He was fully God and sinless, so hard to imagine that Jesus gave Mary a hard time. But yet He was fully human, so what does that mean? Hmm.

    Alas, the saga continues. And fortunately for me, I don't need to be the perfect parent, because Jesus already is the Perfect Parent for Aidan. Phew.



Saturday, July 01, 2006

Fender Bender

So perhaps I am more jet lagged and tired than I thought. I woke up late this AM, 24 minutes prior to my lecture at 9, ordinarily, no biggie. However, I am the lecturer today. Yikes. I did make it on time. Phew.

Then, to Aidan's school for his Fourth of July Parade. Super fun.

On my way back to work, I rear ended a pregnant lady, who also had a toddler in her car... YIKES. Her car appeared fine except for some scratches on her bumper, which I am sure she will want replaced... But my poor car, needs a new hood, the light on the right went bust... We were coming off the freeway, she started to turn right, then slammed on her brakes. She told me, while we were exchanging information, that she got rear ended, just like this, not long ago in Burlingame. I thought, lady, maybe you need to just GO! Alas, I was the one who did the deed. I wondered, do parents with toddlers more apt to get in minor car accidents? To make me feel less guilty, I hypothsised that she got distracted by her big belly, then her toddler was complaining, and she was not paying attention, and started to go, but then changed her mind, Totally not my fault- but who am I kidding?

Poor Daddy now has to try to put my car back together...

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

The LOOOOOOONGST DAY!

We are leaving Sydney today- and so it will be the longest day of our lives. Sydney is 17 hours ahead of PST, or 7 hours behind, whichever way you want to look at it. The flight is 15 hours... We will actually depart Sydney at 3 pm and arrive home at noon, two hours prior to when we left.

Aidan gets up bright and early, so I help the boys get ready and send them on their merry way to the Aquarium, since Daddy has not seen it, and has not spent any time at Darling Harbour. As they leave, I pack things up in a jiffy and head out for my last shopping trip. I have fun buying my lovely pair of Bally shoes- the most I have ever spent on shoes... The boys enjoy the aquarium, find out that the platypus is neither a bird nor a mammal, it is both (and we thought these two things are mutually exclusive.) We meet back at noon and Daddy's colleague takes us to the airport.

We nearly get busted by the boarding process- since I try to collect my GST from my shoes. Fortunately, Daddy hustles Aidan and we all get on the plane! Phew. This GST is interesting. Australians pay A LOT in taxes: nearly 50% for income tax, and their sales tax, the GST, is 10%! I get my $28 back from the Aussies and hurry along.

The best part about the ride home is that Aidan falls sleep, standing up, with his head resting on his seat. No picture to show this position though, since neither of us want to disturb the equilibrium. Aidan also sleeps on the floor, on us, in all sorts of positions. Alas, he wakes up to breakfast. And while we think we still have 3 hours of flight time, the captain tells us we are landing in 30 minutes! We are simply unable to calculate the flight time, the time difference, in our hazy state. What a relief.

This has been such a fun trip. Now that we are home, I look out at our lagoon, and I think, 'this water just isn't the same as the harbour, maybe we need an opera house, or ferries, or a big bridge...'



Monday, June 26, 2006

The Zoo

Today's agenda: Go to Taronga Zoo, and come back to the apartment in time for an afternoon nap, then go out to dinner with Grandpa's junior high classmate. It is essential to get a nap in today- so that Aidan can be on his best behavior for dinner.

To stay on schedule, we hustle out of the apartment by 8 AM. We brave the cold, cold winds and catch our ferry to Circular Quey. Then, we catch our other ferry to Taronga Zoo. We make it to the zoo entrance just as they open, but we break our pram on the way...oops. Aidan can say 'kangaroo' very, very well. He also looks for his Auntie Koala Bear- imagine his surprise when she actually doesn't reside at the zoo... We see platypus- still are not sure if they are mammels or birds, or what. We find our relatives, Quokka, since our names sound quite similar and certainly we have seen our name spelled this way. We also visit the children's zoo, where we find a scary looking lizart with a blue tongue! We pat some bunnies, and Aidan gets all wet playing in the water. This zoo is far superior than the San Francisco Zoo. Thumbs up from all three of us. We get lunch quickly, then we ride the tram back to the ferry, then to another ferry, and actually manage to stay on our schedule and get home in time for a luxurious nap.

Aidan sleeps soundly for three hours! All that animal watching surely is exhausting. We head out to dinner, meet Uncle Terry and Auntie Celeste- Daddy had apparently met them once when he was about eight years old. Aidan puts on his best show, gobbles up a bunch at dinner, and hugs them good night.

I realise THE reason why I find parenting so difficult today, while I zone out as Aidan is splashing himself silly, and Daddy is trying to keep him dry, wondering where his backup went... Having Aidan only points out more glaringly how sinful I am, that I am ultimately more interested in my own comfort, that I am selfish, unforgiving, and controlling. Yikes. God is using Aidan to point out these facts to me, many times a day, and boy, it is annoying! Therefore, as my imperfections are so much more visible, I find this parenting task nearly impossible. I imagine if I am more willing to lean on Jesus, because His death had already paid for my sins, and He had been perfect for me, parenting would be easier...

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Going to the BEACH!

Now that Daddy is back, we are going to do some serious sightseeing. It is interesting, how the dynamics change when Daddy is back. We decide that Aidan complains more when there are two parents- probably figures he can get his way more- that one of us is bound to cave in. I also realise that I don't want to lift a finger when Daddy is back- why do any work when he can do it all for me? Alas, that is just not how that works.

We set out for Bondi Beach. There is a little market here on Sundays- Aussies seem to be very into these little markets, they are everywhere. As we are walking around, Aidan seems visibly tired, and proceeds to have a screaming match about these porcelain cars. It is time to go. He promptly falls asleep- well, then we won't needs to go home for a nap!

We decide to go to Many Beach. We ride the ferry, where my two boys turn into little monkeys. Aidan looks at the beach, finds it intensely alluring, and what the heck, we go walk on the beach. The sand here is lovely- it is very fine and smooth. The water is COLD! But Aidan loves the whole beach thing anyway...until, he touches his face with his sandy hands...then there is sand in his eyes... Alas, we make our escape, except, when dont' know where we can take him to get washed up. Beach Rule #1: Always find out where one can wash up before one goes to the beach!

Finally, we are somewhat clean, Aidan is eating his Tim Tam- the best biscuits ever. We ride the ferry back to Circular Quay, then the train, grab dinner, then off to bed. Phew.

Apparently, we are not the only people in Manly today- Kidman weds Urban in Manly.














Saturday, June 24, 2006

Daddy should have gotten home last night from Melbourne- however, due to that thick fog in the AM, all the flights are diverted/postponed, and his flight is cancelled! So, with today being a new day, Daddy has the big responsibility of getting home ASAP...
While we wait for Daddy, we go back to Luna Park. This time, I am wiser- and I get the all-you-can-ride bracelet and put it on Aidan. He loves the bracelet and is quite capable of walking up to the line and scanning himself in. The two rides we ride the most: The Carousel and U-Drive. The difference from today is that Aidan at least tries different seats on the same rides. It is amazing how fixated these toddlers get about 'routine.' I think Aidan is more intrigued about the tires and the track, than the actual ride, since he spends most of the ride looking at the wheels and track.

He also bravely tries this rotating device.

Daddy finally gets home at lunch time! Hurray! As Aidan goes down for a nap, I leave for a little shopping trip on my own. Apparently, Aidan stays awake and chats about going back for the rides at Luna Park and doesn't nap at all! He keeps tugging on his magical bracelet... I, on the other hand, zip through the various stores I have been eyeing all week and realize that I can buy the same stuff back at home. They have a Nine West here- but much more expensive. It is also winter here and so it is all winter clothes, which isn't all that inspiring, since I just put away all that stuff at home! I do pick up some other Thomas the Tank Engine things for Aidan here- it actually is cheaper here, for some strange reason. I think Aidan is making off with the most stuff from this trip- it is fun buying him winter clothes for next year! The stores here close early, by our standards. It is all closed by 6 pm on most days, except for Thursday, which then stores are open until 9! We think this promotes a healthier family life- no allure of stores screaming out, 'buy! Buy! BUY!!!!'

I meet up with the boys at Luna Park (where else...) and we head home for dinner. Daddy goes out with some colleagues to watch "Australian soccer/footable/rugby" type sport. That should be an interesting event.

Yes, we take turns doing things now...





Friday, June 23, 2006

This weather...

I open my eyes this morning at 6:30 and look out the window. This is what is out there. Yikes. The forecast says it will rain, and rain, and rain these few days.

Alas, out of the door we go. Aidan and I ride the train to Town Hall Station, then the bus to Circular Quey. Even though we are >6000 miles away from home, Aidan finds the same 'mundane' stuff super interesting.

We walk around a bit, and I manage to convince him to ride the ferry again. For some unknown reason, everytime I mention taking the boat, he says, "NO!" We enjoy fish and chips on the way.

We go to Luna Park, and Aidan loves riding the little kiddie stuff. He is quite sad that he is too short for the big people things. I watch him ride this one thing FIVE times- that would be $15! But that smile makes it worth the $.

I think there are two camps of parents. One camp will do things mostly for their children's sake, the other will make their children do their own stuff. I obviously fall in the former camp. I keep thinking, if I were here on my own, what kind of stuff would I do? I imagine I would see a non-kiddie museum, probably would already have bought shoes, and maybe ride the ferry all around the harbor, and definitely not coming back to the apartment for midday break. I fantasise taking Aidan on this kind of a day, and I think there will be screaming- "No shu, Mommy, No SHU!" is what he says when we even set our pram in a shoe store. Would he persist if I insisted? Maybe, maybe not. How much is a pair of shoes worth to me, versus seeing him go round and round on an amusement park ride and hearing him laugh? Some will probably say I have 'precious baby syndrome.' Alas, maybe it is 'precious me syndrome,' that I rather enjoy myself and not to have to listen to whining all day long?

By the way, hats off to parents who eat every single meal with their children. I am getting tired of watching Aidan eat, for 45 minutes at a time, at least three times ago (snacks are on the go). When Daddy is around, at least we talk and distract ourselves. When I am in charge, on my own, there is only so much thinking I can do. Aidan will take a bite, talk to me about something or other, which I can't decipher, then count his raisins, or call his noodles 'track,' and just as I am about to take the food away, he takes another big bite...

By the time we get home for lunch and nap, this is what is out of our window.

After nap, I am out of ideas. There are places I want to go, but when one's nap ends at 3:40, our options are limited. Fortunately for me, Aidan is satisfied simply being transported. We take the train to Chinatown for some dumplings. While we are eating, a grandma type starts to chat with us. She noticed that Aidan's dumpling is leaving a trail of juice on his shirt and recommands that I get a bib for him. I say, "He has one at home... fortunately for him, his shirt is dark colored..." She then comments about how well behaved Aidan is. She is right, my Aidan is usually very well behaved, how easily I forget that. After dinner, we take the bus again. When we get off the bus, I ask if Aidan wants a picture with a bus. He immediately starts to say "cheese!" We then take the train, and on our walk back home, Aidan asks to run... We find a place, safe for running in the dark, if there is such a thing, and off he goes!

I think the thing I love most about Australia is how people will just stop to tell me how cute, handsome, well behaved, sweet, my little Aidan is, they do this at the ATM, restaurants, shops, on the train, in the bathroom... AWESOME!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

A New Day!

I love the beginning of each new day- a new beginning, all things made new, it is just fantastic. It is especially fantastic, when the Charmer sleeps in. Aidan wakes up this morning at 8. We eat breakfast, and it actually takes some convincing on my part to get him out of the door.

We end up at Kinokuniya Bookstore, the largest bookstore in Sydney. We are disappointed with the selection of Chinese books for toddlers, but are very impressed by the sheer volume they carry. Aidan is amused by their English collection- Thomas the Tank Engine books. Apparently, Sir Topham Hat is known as The Fat Controller here in Australia, how unfortunate for him.

After a delicious two and half hour nap, Aidan and I get back on the road. We take the train to Town Hall station again, and on a whime, we get on a bus. Bus 501 ends up taking us to The Powerhouse Museum! The admission is free after four! Aidan has just enough time to run around a little bit.

Then, we catch the bus back to Town Hall. We get Aidan some rain gear- they don't sell 'raincoats' here. They have 'spray jackets.' On the way, we see an advertising for smoking cessation. They mean business here. Nice foot and teeth... Yikes.

We have dinner at Ichiban Boshi. Aidan enjoys saying 'Ichiban' almost as much as I do! This is the only time in my life that I have volunteered to share a table- we need to eat in a hurry, and it is not like Aidan and I are going to have a deep conversation... Besides, I have hopes that Aidan would actually be neater in the presence of others. So, we follow the hostess to a table. There is another couple there- clearly wanting privacy, because the woman gives Aidan an once-over, and gives me a dirty look. They ask to switch tables. Fine by us! We end up sitting next to a Japense couple- the man, in his twenties, is still cracking his voice. Aidan loves the ramen, the miso soup, the saucy rice from my katsu-ju. The food is superb, but the service seriously lacks something.

We finally get back to the apartment, nearly past Aidan's bedtime. Today has been awesome.















Wednesday, June 21, 2006

  • Fortunately for me, the decision about the train is made for me. Aidan sleeps for four hours. I decide to just let him sleep- it is unlike him to have so many meltdowns, and maybe he really is just too tired. Interestingly, he gets up at 5, and says, "no train." I guess he knows.

    So what do I do while he is napping? I try to find the end of the internet... I have read "The Devil Wears Prada"by Lauren Weisberger, and "The Opposite of Fate" by Amy Tan. If only I can get around to my pain medical education credit workbooks...

    The challenge for the rest of the week: What to do with Aidan in Sydney when it is pouring rain outside?

  • Consequences- for him or for me?

    Daddy is back in town today. We're so excited. Aidan has been thinking, "We are in a new town, why is Daddy away? What gives?" I have been thinking, "We are in a new town, why is Hubby away? What gives?" We are all so excited that Daddy is back for today.

    We take Daddy to work, via train, of course. Then, Aidan and I set out for The Powerhouse Museum. It takes us a LOOOONG time to get there. On the way, we stroll through Queen Victoria Building- there are designer shops 'trading' at 8:30! Anyway, we finally get to The Powerhouse Museum...after getting lost and having to back track some. Aidan is THRILLED to see LOCOMOTIVE No. 1!

    After a quick lunch a the cafe, we take the MonoRail back to CityRail to go home, because it is POURING! Aidan has done splendidly thus far. But we encounter some problems at the train station. Aidan wants more train, of course, yet it is time to go home for a nap. What to do? I say, "Aidan, we have ridden trains today. We are going home for a nap, and then we will go back to take more trains. Trains are for well behaved children. Let's go." He has a melt down, (actually manages to push his stroller down the stairs...AI-YAH!) He proceeds to sob in the apartment, finally asks for a reading of his favorite titles these days, in this order: The Big Red Barn, Train, Goodnight Moon. And before I can finish, he is fast asleep.

    Now my problem is this: When he wakes up, do we go take the train to meet Daddy for dinner, or will there really be no more trains? Not taking the train is as much of a consequence for him, as it is for me. Or do I let it slide, as he is in a new place, exhausted...etc. What to do? I have his nap time to think about this, and make some kind of 'wise' decision...yikes.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Reflections

Motherhood is difficult. I find myself wanting to yell, even though I know that achieves nothing. But I can't help it. I have never really yelled at work. Somehow, people listen to me at work. Not so with a toddler, as I have realized. It drives me nutty when Aidan knows I am talking to him, but will not listen- I can't believe this has already started... I imagine when he is a teenie bopper, he will completely tune me out. At least for now, I can hold his sweet little face and make him look at me while I discipline him. I find myself saying things like, "Mommy loves you, and that is why I have to discipline you." Wow. I sound just like my Mom! And back in the day when she used to say that, it drove me batty.

It is incredible, how observant this child is, and how he makes me so regressed in the ways that we project onto each other. I wonder, if I am a stay-at-home Mom, would it make things easier? Would I be more in tune with him? As it is, I find that on days like this- when we are left to our own devices, this is WHOLE LOT of Aidan! I suppose if I want to see all his giggles, I will have to put up with the tears.


Tuesday, June 20, 2006

All is not lost!

This is what happened after nap time. Mum wakes me up after I had slept for nearly three hours- to keep me on some kind of schedule- try as she may, I have my own agenda and schedule. At any rate, she sets me up with apples and off we go! I adamantely choose to ride the train, instead of the ferry, even though riding the train means that Mum has to UP hill to get to the train station, and then, another ten minute hike. I don't really mind, since I just sit in my stroller and eat my apples. This trip back to the Aquarium is much, much better. Mum makes the rules of engagement clear as we leave the house: Whiners do not get to ride the train; Stroller pushing is only allowed when there is space. We refer back to the rule frequently. I run up and down the walkway, whenever we have a chance. I think Aquaruim is a fantastic place for running- and sometimes, for fish.

After that, we walk to Chinatown. We buy some very yummy looking breads for tomorrow. We get dinner- I eat lots of dumplings. Oh! I also squarm so much in my seat, that I tumble over, but I land on my two swift feet. However, I manage to scare the lady next to us- she screams and scares my Mummy. That is when Mummy realises another rule needs to be spoken: No squarming. We finish dinner, decide that the service is AWFUL at this yummy restaurant, true to our Chinese heritage.

We ride the train home. I beg for more train rides- which I think makes my Mum batty. But you know, she can authorise more train rides! She promises me, that non-whining children get to ride more trains, in the daylight, so there is no use to get up before dawn.

I love my Mum.

Driving My Mum Batty

Hey People! Greetings from Sydney. My mum thinks I am napping, but hee, hee, I am blogging!

  • This morning, I choose to get up at 4:30. I call out to my Mummy, while she thinks she would be able to coax me back to sleep, I have other plans. Mum decide to call Daddy. Daddy tells me to go back to sleep, so I lie on my super air mattress, but I do not go back to sleep. Meanwhile, I keep asking Mum to take me to see the trains. She keeps saying that as long as it is dark, the trains are sleeping too. I have my doubts, but I will let it slide.

    Finally, we leave th house at 8. We go and ride the train, just for the heck of it. Mum tells me that it is not very nice that I keep asking for 'more train' while we are on the train. What is her beef with that? I see absolutely nothing wrong with asking for more train while we are on the train. One ought to be able to ride on the train, and see another train simultaneously. Finally, after an hour of this, I start to yell, 'OFF! TRAIN!' So, we get off, and we walk over to the Sydney Aquarium. We pay our admission and I am so happy to see all these differnet kind of fish! We see a sea dragon. I am thrilled. Then, we see some penguins! Then, while we are in the tunnel with giant turtles and sting rays, I pushed my stroller into a lady. Mum reprimands me. I refuse to listen. I want to ram the stroller some more. Mum times me out. I lie on the floor, and play 'dead cat,' you know, the game where I lose all muscle strength and it is impossible to pick me up. Mum gives me a warning. I still don't listen. Then, at this point, our morning turns sad... Mum picks me up, puts me in the stroller, and I play 'arch the back,' which I don't think needs explanation. Mum tells me that it is time to go home, making this the most brief visit to the Aquarium, ever. I say, let's go home via the train. She says, no, we are going home via the ferry, because it is faster. I say, NOOOO!!! And I cry to make my point clear. It is VERY SAD. Mum holds me at the ferry terminal and tries to sooth me. I keep yelling, 'TRAIN!' to show her who is the boss. Alas, the ferry arrives and all is better. We have a good ferry ride back to Milson's Point. And I push my stroller to my heart's satisfaction on our way home.

    I think Mum is praying and hoping that after nap time, the morning episdoe will not be repeated. And that I will get up at 7 tomorrow am.







Monday, June 19, 2006

Cityrail, Monorail, Lightrail!

So, Daddy takes off this morning at 5:30 to catch his flight. Aidan chooses to sleep in, leisurely, until 9:00. I think this child is catching up on his sleep, but he does not appear to be jet lagged at all. I, on the other hand, am somewhat stuck in between.
By 9:45, we are on the train! It is incredible how cooperative Aidan can be, when the destination is the train station. We ride into city center, find our trusted Citibank, get some Australian currency- which has this little bit of transparent paper on them, very interesting. And off to spend the money we go! The transportation system in Sydney is somewhat strange, to say the least. They have this Monorail, that travels counterclockwise, in a loop, and really gets you no where, but is just interesting to ride. We ride it thrice.
Then, we find Myer Department Store, and what do we see? Thomas the Tank Engine! On sale, no less! They are having this 'stocktake' sale, I have no idea what that means... Is it like our stockup sale? At any rate, Aidan chooses Gordon to add to his growing collection. It takes a LOOOOOONG time for Aidan to pick up his next buddy. This actually marks an interesting milestone in Aidan's life. He has NEVER seen the purchase of a toy before. We will see where this takes us...
Anyway, the shopping experience is marked by a scary experience involving a diaper, I will spare you all of the details.
Then, we have lunch!
After lunch, we ride the purposeless monorail again, then the train to go home, but only with the promise that there will be more train rides later. For now, the train-master is napping, happily, on his own Thomas the Tank Engine Air Mattress!








Sunday, June 18, 2006

Off we go!

About a month ago, Daddy came home fromo work and said, "how do you feel about going to Australia?" I said, "huh?" So we debated, back and forth, about the pros and cons of going to Australia. Daddy needs to go for business, and would we have more routine at home, for a week, or would we have a great adventure to the land down under?
In the end, after consulting various friends, people with one child, and people with multiple children, we decided to go.
It was a very busy week, Daddy had presentations at work, and I worked extra too. We packed our bags, two bags per person, and off we go!
Aidan did well on the plane- he slept for about 10 of the 14 hours. However, he woke up at the end of each sleep cycle, which was very sad. He slept on me, on Daddy, on the floor, in his seat, pretty much all the permutations possible. He also enjoyed juice on the plane and very eagerly waited for his breakfast. We are staying at a fabulous apartment, across the harbor from the opera house. It is just lovely- especially because I won't be doing any cleaning whatsoever.
This will be an interesting week- since Aidan and I will be on our own for 4 days here, while Daddy is traveling within Australia for work. We have big plans- of riding all transportation this great city has to offer!














Monday, June 12, 2006

Buying stuff

We realized we live in a culture that is addicted to buying stuff. We drive our big, big cars, that have more horse power than necessary, so that we can get to our shopping destinations faster. Then, we fill up our cars with stuff, and then, drag it home and fill our big, big, houses. Then, when we fill our existing homes, we go shopping for bigger, and bigger homes, so that we can pile more and more stuff into it. Then we need insurance for our stuff! And then there is shopping for the right insurance policy... We spend so much time thinking about stuff to buy, we research the big ticket items endlessly, and we continue to think about our purchases after the fact. How much time can we save if we stopped our buying rampage? Would we have more time to be in community, would spouses talk to each other more frequently, not about stuff to buy, but about who we are? Would we be less exhausted? If we stopped needing money to buy stuff, then we don't need to work as hard? When did we become slaves to our stuff?
What does stuff get us? Pride? Self-sufficiency? Power? Status? What hole are we trying to fill with all this 'crap?' A God-sized hole in our hearts?
We certainly are guilty of this. I have found myself looking for various 'crap' for Aidan, from Thomas the Train stuff, to the next book he will like, to the 'right' snack, buying Daddy the perfect gift for Father's day, buying the right kind of food...what an endless chore? Because in the end, Aidan's new Thomas the Train addition only becomes more 'crap' that I have to clean, and the perfect gift for Daddy becomes something that we are afraid of dropping or losing... Nothing satisfies other than Christ, that is for sure.