Sunday evening is a time when I get myself organized for the week. It mainly involves returning phone messages, messages left for me after about 4 pm on Friday. Usually, my patients are surprised that I call on Sunday evenings. I don't do it for them, I do it for myself: it is less stressful than to wait until Monday. Typically, I get about 15 messages per day, and about 1/3 of that is about medication refills, 1/3 for new patients, and 1/3 for random stuff, like switching appointments, concerns of medication side effects...etc. I try to get through the med refill requests in between patients, and I save the rest for when I can actually converse. Not that I am all that great at conversing over the phone... I do have AT&T, after all. When will the coverage be better? (When I switch to a different plan, probably.)
Sunday evening is also a time that Hubby and I catch up on random stuff around here, like paying taxes. I have been griping about taxes for a very, very long time. When I was growing up, I remember my parents being upset every November and April, because of property tax. My Dad also dreaded the credit card bill in January- apparently, my parents bought all kinds of stuff for us when we get home for vacation- clothes, books, food, plane tickets...etc, by the time the bill arrived, we were already back in school, and so it was hard to pay this bill without seeing the kids. Anyway, now I know their pain. (Although they are no longer in this pain- all three of us are grown, they no longer pay tuition, clothes, or food for us. Or at least that is what I think, if my siblings are free loading, I need to hunt them down and get some tips about how-to-free-load.)
It is hard to pay taxes. I just don't want to pay taxes. Regardless what I hear about in the debate about health care, immigration, and education, I still don't want to pay taxes.
In regards to health care, of course, I want everyone to have access to care. However, someone has to pay, and frankly, I don't want to pay more. I was talking to another parent from Aidan's class, and Anna, a French citizen, told me about how copays are always 1 Euro for all French people for all medical appointments. That sounds AWESOME. Who wouldn't want that? She was saying how charging people differently because of what insurance you have or don't have is ridiculous. Yes, it is ridiculous. But we are Americans! We want choices! We could buy milk at Costco for $2 a gallon, but lots of us want to buy milk at Whole Foods for $6!
Fundamentally, we want choices. We want innovations. I am afraid, in my completely unprofessional opinion, that universal anything is contradictory to the fundamental beliefs of the Founders. (Not that I know what the Founders really wanted...) What I would take though, is this: If I didn't have to accrue medical school education debt, than I would happily make less money. If I could get my education for free, sure, I will take a pay cut. It would be so nice, to not have this debt: I will still be paying for my education after we are done paying for Aidan and Zoe's college tuition. Take that away, and fine, reduce my reimbursements.
As for the educational system, Anna said that universities in France charge an annual tuition of 325 Euros. That would be so awesome.
Maybe I need to move to France. But you know what? I can't. Immigration to this land of cheese (and I hate cheese), is very, very difficult. I don't know how difficult, but people I know who want to move to anywhere in Europe always complain about the process. I guess we won't be moving there anytime soon.
Canada, however, would be a different story. We can move there to open a business! (Say, a cheese making business?) And get cheap insurance! Cheap education! In my Amerocentric thinking though, the Canadians are not the people who innovate! I mean, Google, Yahoo, Apple, those are all American companies! Why? Because people need incentives, when you are paying so much in taxes, why bother? Just sit and collect your entitlements. (I am thinking that is the better way to go.) To discredit myself, AT&T is also American... and its coverage is poor.
Essentially, we have to ask ourselves: Do we want to be innovators (and thus, the free market has to be FREE to grow), or do we want to be like 'those people', who collect entitlements.
(By the way, I feel unauthentic until I admit this part: My grandparents, all four of them, never paid taxes here, yet all came here and collected social security, medicare, and who knows what else. I am part of the problem.)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
10 Years
10 years ago, I married my best friend. It was an awesome day.
We had met when I was 17, and I had an idea about the kind of person I would marry. Exactly what was the idea? I was not entirely clear, but when we met, he didn't seem like the type of person I would marry.
I dated a guy whom I thought would be the kind of person I would marry, and thankfully, I realized the error of my thinking during summer break from school. I had then prayed and asked for God to help me, to be more discerning, and that the next guy I would date would be the one I will marry.
Well, I then had a crush on another guy and had desperately waited for him to call. (I am not sure why I thought he would call, he clearly had no interest, whatsoever.)
During all this, I had a dependable and good guy friend, who listened to me go on and on and on about the above two guys. He came over to help me with physics, stopped by my dorm to walk to Bible study together, told me jokes. But I thought he was sort of dating some other girl.
Then I went to Michigan for the summer. Let's be clear about Ann Arbor: It is a place that one ought to bring one's own friends for the summer. My dependable and good male friend wrote me every week (I guess neither of us had reliable internet access that summer, this was 1996, after all.) I looked forward to his letters- they were about nothing, yet absolutely hilarious and encouraging. (And, I found out he was not, in fact, dating this other woman.)
When school started back, it was clear, I was smitten. But was he? How would one find out? Of course! One would convince a girl friend to find out for her! I sneakily finagled this good and dependable guy friend to take me out on a date. I will go on "official record" (if one thinks my blog is an official record...) and say, at the conclusion of this date, I knew he was the one, in October of 1996.
It took three years for us to get engaged, not a day too late, and not a day too early, and I found myself loving him more with each passing day. God's timing was perfect. We married 6 months later. To this day, he is my good, dependable, nice, hilarious, encouraging, best friend.
These 10 years went by so fast: we accumulated educational debt, got ourselves into some real estate debt, and had children, aka debt makers. It has been a path illuminated by God's faithfulness and goodness. We have been happy recipients of his mercy.
I think the next 10 years will go by even faster. Aidan will be 16, Zoe will be 13, and we will be in our 40's. We will probably have more debt- we are Americans, after all. However, I also know that this marriage works because Jesus had already paid the ultimate price for us.
Happy Anniversary, Hubby!
Siblings
It is really hard to believe that I have two kids. Two potty trained kids. Two kids who no longer need naps. I mean, they might as well go off to college tomorrow. I just can't fathom how quickly the last 6 years have gone.
Meanwhile, as we say good bye to the physically exhausting stage of nighttime wakings and butt cleanings, we are now on to the emotionally exhausting phase, a phase that will only conclude itself when I die. When they were little, I often told Hubby that I am going to be great at this: after all, I do this for a living. However, I am also reminded that psychiatrists usually have really weird kids, thus, only time will tell if I am doing them a service or dis-service.
Just yesterday morning, I was putting away laundry, picking up random stuff, and cleaning up, I heard the happy sounds of siblings getting along and playing together. Not even a breath later, there was screaming from Zoe, and groaning from Aidan. Because my goal was to have a quiet, relaxing morning, I marched over and demanded: "What is going on?" They stared at me with their cute eyes, and no one said a word! I asked again, "What happened?" Still, silence. (These kids ought to work as spies.) By the third time, I was seriously getting annoyed, "You need to tell me what happened. This is NOT OKAY!" (I probably use the phrase, "This is NOT OKAY!" so frequently, that I now hear my kids say that to each other.) Still, silence. I then said, "Alright, being loud and rude to each other like this IS NOT OKAY! Both of you, out of this room." I hadn't really meant for them to go to time out, but they put themselves in their respective spots. A few minutes later, I made them apologize to each other, and sent them back to their room to 'work it out.'
Anyway, Aidan said that Zoe was taking his puppy, and Zoe said that Aidan was not letting her use the puppy. I suggested to Zoe to ask nicely before just taking it, and before I even finished my sentence, Aidan was working it out with her, "Zoe, here, you can take this puppy."
At moments like that, I am so proud of them, that they are capable of working things out, but whom am I kidding? They are really just learning to manipulate each other. Ahhh, the gift having a sibling.
Meanwhile, as we say good bye to the physically exhausting stage of nighttime wakings and butt cleanings, we are now on to the emotionally exhausting phase, a phase that will only conclude itself when I die. When they were little, I often told Hubby that I am going to be great at this: after all, I do this for a living. However, I am also reminded that psychiatrists usually have really weird kids, thus, only time will tell if I am doing them a service or dis-service.
Just yesterday morning, I was putting away laundry, picking up random stuff, and cleaning up, I heard the happy sounds of siblings getting along and playing together. Not even a breath later, there was screaming from Zoe, and groaning from Aidan. Because my goal was to have a quiet, relaxing morning, I marched over and demanded: "What is going on?" They stared at me with their cute eyes, and no one said a word! I asked again, "What happened?" Still, silence. (These kids ought to work as spies.) By the third time, I was seriously getting annoyed, "You need to tell me what happened. This is NOT OKAY!" (I probably use the phrase, "This is NOT OKAY!" so frequently, that I now hear my kids say that to each other.) Still, silence. I then said, "Alright, being loud and rude to each other like this IS NOT OKAY! Both of you, out of this room." I hadn't really meant for them to go to time out, but they put themselves in their respective spots. A few minutes later, I made them apologize to each other, and sent them back to their room to 'work it out.'
Anyway, Aidan said that Zoe was taking his puppy, and Zoe said that Aidan was not letting her use the puppy. I suggested to Zoe to ask nicely before just taking it, and before I even finished my sentence, Aidan was working it out with her, "Zoe, here, you can take this puppy."
At moments like that, I am so proud of them, that they are capable of working things out, but whom am I kidding? They are really just learning to manipulate each other. Ahhh, the gift having a sibling.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Would it sell?!
I have a serious case of C.R.S. (I saw this on a bumper sticker yesterday, so I can't exactly take credit.) "Can't Remember Sh*t." Yup, I know, I probably shouldn't write that word, now it is going to turn up in all kinds of sordid places, but you know, it was hilarious when I saw it. It is true, I am about to write about something that I might have written about- does Blogger have a search option? Or is it something I have just thought about writing? Who knows, maybe someone can tell me.
Anyway, I have been thinking about writing a book. A book about my work, about my patients, mostly, about how I think about my patients. The kind of patients I want to write about? People just like me. It will be partly a memoir, (I know, I haven't really lived long enough to write one...) partly a how-to book, and partly entertainment.
What is holding me back? Basically, 3 issues.
1. Would it sell? (And I appreciate comments about this, and so please do leave a comment, or not, because then it would indicate whether people would buy this or not.) Then, do I want it to sell? Remember, the more money you make, the more taxes you owe...
2. Do I actually want to reveal that much about myself? In my work, I strive to be as blank as possible so that I can really work with patients psychodynamically. In some ways, if I reveal all this about me, it will be more difficult to do that work. Of course, I am assuming people would actually read my book, which they may not, after all.
3. Time. It doesn't feel like I have time to write this. I am back to working my usual 30 hours of clinical care every week, thanks to the IRS. The needs of my family, and the desire to take care of my family, all require time. I also, happen to like sleep...
I also realize, though, that if I am serious about this, I need to make it happen, and not wait until I am 80 years old, if I live that long, and wish that I had done something about this, because by then, I will probably suffer from some kind of dementia, and really Can't Remember Sh*t.
Anyway, I have been thinking about writing a book. A book about my work, about my patients, mostly, about how I think about my patients. The kind of patients I want to write about? People just like me. It will be partly a memoir, (I know, I haven't really lived long enough to write one...) partly a how-to book, and partly entertainment.
What is holding me back? Basically, 3 issues.
1. Would it sell? (And I appreciate comments about this, and so please do leave a comment, or not, because then it would indicate whether people would buy this or not.) Then, do I want it to sell? Remember, the more money you make, the more taxes you owe...
2. Do I actually want to reveal that much about myself? In my work, I strive to be as blank as possible so that I can really work with patients psychodynamically. In some ways, if I reveal all this about me, it will be more difficult to do that work. Of course, I am assuming people would actually read my book, which they may not, after all.
3. Time. It doesn't feel like I have time to write this. I am back to working my usual 30 hours of clinical care every week, thanks to the IRS. The needs of my family, and the desire to take care of my family, all require time. I also, happen to like sleep...
I also realize, though, that if I am serious about this, I need to make it happen, and not wait until I am 80 years old, if I live that long, and wish that I had done something about this, because by then, I will probably suffer from some kind of dementia, and really Can't Remember Sh*t.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Pot of Mush
When I was a kid growing up in Taiwan, before my dad brought a microwave home with him on a business trip from the States, my mother made pots of mush, a lot. Without a microwave, the only way to reheat leftovers, would be to do that on the pot, and she deemed it highly inefficient to reheat one dish, wash the pot, heat up another, and so on, (her stove had two burners), so she just dumped it all into one pot. Typically, she did this for lunch, using leftovers from the night before. There was usually soup (the pot) and I think she put EVERYTHING (typically, a starch, a protein, and various vegetation) in that pot, except for fish. The woman did have some limits, after all. It all tasted the same, nutritious, but the same. That was when my brother and I got into adding hot sauce into our food. To this day, when I see hot chili pepper paste, I think about our lunches.
When I see soy sauce fish, I think about the dish my parents used to test out the microwave. I was probably 8, and there was this fish, with its congealed sauce, that my parents could not heat up. My dad was busily deciphering the instructions, and my mom kept pushing the buttons- in a way, that sums up their marriage: my dad is very much by the book, and my mom is 'just try it' kind of gal. Anyway, this was when microwaves had a 'heating probe', and it was not pushed all the way in. Once they figured out that piece of the puzzle, we were on our way to a 'normal' way of reheating food. I say normal in quotes, because that is what I think normal would be, who really knows? I haven't eaten leftovers with other families. Maybe everyone eats pots of mush.
These days, I think my blog is turning into a pot of mush. I don't have enough time to write regularly. Aidan and Zoe will do/say something that I make a mental note: This is awesome blogging material, but then never get around to it. If you bear with me and keep reading this blog, you will also find a balanced diet of entertainment, but it is all mush, hard to tell what it used to be, but hopefully, entertaining nonetheless.
When I see soy sauce fish, I think about the dish my parents used to test out the microwave. I was probably 8, and there was this fish, with its congealed sauce, that my parents could not heat up. My dad was busily deciphering the instructions, and my mom kept pushing the buttons- in a way, that sums up their marriage: my dad is very much by the book, and my mom is 'just try it' kind of gal. Anyway, this was when microwaves had a 'heating probe', and it was not pushed all the way in. Once they figured out that piece of the puzzle, we were on our way to a 'normal' way of reheating food. I say normal in quotes, because that is what I think normal would be, who really knows? I haven't eaten leftovers with other families. Maybe everyone eats pots of mush.
These days, I think my blog is turning into a pot of mush. I don't have enough time to write regularly. Aidan and Zoe will do/say something that I make a mental note: This is awesome blogging material, but then never get around to it. If you bear with me and keep reading this blog, you will also find a balanced diet of entertainment, but it is all mush, hard to tell what it used to be, but hopefully, entertaining nonetheless.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Schooling
Hubby and I went to a fundraiser last night for Aidan's school. It was interesting to talk to other parents about the plight of our schools.
We were indoctrinated to attend fundraisers for schools while Aidan was an infant. The school he went to was a non profit and there were a few centers sprinkled throughout the Bay Area. All the schools got together to throw a big party at the Ritz Carlton in San Francisco, and of course, we were curious. That year, we were the only parents from his class who attended the party, and easily won the silent auction for his class project, a little wooden bench. (We still have it, and we love how Aidan's thumb was used to make the art on it.) That fundraiser, and all the subsequent ones were very fun. The food was always fantastic and this mama loves any chance to dress up.
If you are a long time reader here, you probably remember how I went crazy after losing the auction to some parents that bid via the PHONE in 2008- dude, that was NOT cool. (I will try to stay calm and not rehash the whole story.) You will also remember how in 2009 I essentially gave away our planned annual gift to my alma mater in order to win a wind chime.
Well, Zoe transferred schools, while still at the same kind of school, her school went through a transition and is no longer a non profit and thus, not legally allowed to have fundraisers. We will be sad to not attend a fabulous party at the Ritz this year...
Thus, it was with great expectations that we eagerly bought our tickets. Hubby had done a photo project for Aidan's teacher to raise funds within the classroom, and we were eager to see what else was there. Then life took place, I got my #4 cold of the year. Seriously?! What happened to my immune system? None of these colds had been awful, just annoying. I tried to get rid of the tickets last week, to no avail. Defeatedly, I booked ourselves a sitter and got ready to go fundraiser for a public school, the irony...
My main observation: For a very Asian school (if you saw the video, you would know what I mean), there were very, very few Asians there. Hubby and I joked that the only way to get masses of Asian parents to go was to have auctions on promises of "I will not ignore your child" or "I will get your child to Harvard." Asian parents, in general, would not be interested in a $49 coupon to Massage Envy. Asian parents probably go to the massage factories in China Town for $10.
We were pleased, however, that we 'won' the auction for Aidan to have lunch with his teacher. We 'won' it, because we were the only parents from his class. We 'won' by default. That suited my competitive spirit, but wasn't all that great for the fund raising purpose. While we were excited to tell Aidan about his upcoming date with Mrs. S, he said, "Well, I don't want to go to Red Robin, I want to go to sushi. Who is going to pay? Will other children be there?" It will be interesting to arrange this, no doubt.
As for the poor health of our educational system, I am utterly disgusted. For my faithful readers, you know how much I write/rant about taxes here, yet last Monday, Hubby and I voted to tax ourselves in the form of a parcel tax for schools. We either are not that convinced we shouldn't have to pay more in taxes, or we are totally concerned about our schools. It is definitely the latter.
For now, we have decided to not put Aidan in independent schools- we want him to know our neighborhood kids, to be exposed to different kinds of people (I fully realize that this is kind of a joke, given that I think the families are very, very much the same socioeconomically, educationally...etc.) Besides, I don't have $26,000 (post tax money) for him to go to school. That $26,000 will actually be at least $40,000 in terms of gross income (about 30% federal tax and 10% CA tax.) Instead, we have opted to buy more educational experiences for him, in forms of soccer, Kumon, swimming...etc. (So I am not completely adhering to my no-more-than-two activities at a time plan, and I realize the cost of these activities still require my post tax money...)
I have no idea what the right thing is terms of education reform, or even healthcare reform, since we are talking about reforms. What I know is this: The government, clearly, can't mange them well, or even manage them. Maybe it is time to just make them all charter schools, privatize everything, and give that a go. Forget tiered tax system, forget income tax, and instead, charge 100% sales tax, those who can afford it will still buy things. Vote out the incumbents, let's go crazy. =)
We were indoctrinated to attend fundraisers for schools while Aidan was an infant. The school he went to was a non profit and there were a few centers sprinkled throughout the Bay Area. All the schools got together to throw a big party at the Ritz Carlton in San Francisco, and of course, we were curious. That year, we were the only parents from his class who attended the party, and easily won the silent auction for his class project, a little wooden bench. (We still have it, and we love how Aidan's thumb was used to make the art on it.) That fundraiser, and all the subsequent ones were very fun. The food was always fantastic and this mama loves any chance to dress up.
If you are a long time reader here, you probably remember how I went crazy after losing the auction to some parents that bid via the PHONE in 2008- dude, that was NOT cool. (I will try to stay calm and not rehash the whole story.) You will also remember how in 2009 I essentially gave away our planned annual gift to my alma mater in order to win a wind chime.
Well, Zoe transferred schools, while still at the same kind of school, her school went through a transition and is no longer a non profit and thus, not legally allowed to have fundraisers. We will be sad to not attend a fabulous party at the Ritz this year...
Thus, it was with great expectations that we eagerly bought our tickets. Hubby had done a photo project for Aidan's teacher to raise funds within the classroom, and we were eager to see what else was there. Then life took place, I got my #4 cold of the year. Seriously?! What happened to my immune system? None of these colds had been awful, just annoying. I tried to get rid of the tickets last week, to no avail. Defeatedly, I booked ourselves a sitter and got ready to go fundraiser for a public school, the irony...
My main observation: For a very Asian school (if you saw the video, you would know what I mean), there were very, very few Asians there. Hubby and I joked that the only way to get masses of Asian parents to go was to have auctions on promises of "I will not ignore your child" or "I will get your child to Harvard." Asian parents, in general, would not be interested in a $49 coupon to Massage Envy. Asian parents probably go to the massage factories in China Town for $10.
We were pleased, however, that we 'won' the auction for Aidan to have lunch with his teacher. We 'won' it, because we were the only parents from his class. We 'won' by default. That suited my competitive spirit, but wasn't all that great for the fund raising purpose. While we were excited to tell Aidan about his upcoming date with Mrs. S, he said, "Well, I don't want to go to Red Robin, I want to go to sushi. Who is going to pay? Will other children be there?" It will be interesting to arrange this, no doubt.
As for the poor health of our educational system, I am utterly disgusted. For my faithful readers, you know how much I write/rant about taxes here, yet last Monday, Hubby and I voted to tax ourselves in the form of a parcel tax for schools. We either are not that convinced we shouldn't have to pay more in taxes, or we are totally concerned about our schools. It is definitely the latter.
For now, we have decided to not put Aidan in independent schools- we want him to know our neighborhood kids, to be exposed to different kinds of people (I fully realize that this is kind of a joke, given that I think the families are very, very much the same socioeconomically, educationally...etc.) Besides, I don't have $26,000 (post tax money) for him to go to school. That $26,000 will actually be at least $40,000 in terms of gross income (about 30% federal tax and 10% CA tax.) Instead, we have opted to buy more educational experiences for him, in forms of soccer, Kumon, swimming...etc. (So I am not completely adhering to my no-more-than-two activities at a time plan, and I realize the cost of these activities still require my post tax money...)
I have no idea what the right thing is terms of education reform, or even healthcare reform, since we are talking about reforms. What I know is this: The government, clearly, can't mange them well, or even manage them. Maybe it is time to just make them all charter schools, privatize everything, and give that a go. Forget tiered tax system, forget income tax, and instead, charge 100% sales tax, those who can afford it will still buy things. Vote out the incumbents, let's go crazy. =)
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