Sob Letter

So we are getting back on the saddle in our search of a house. The search is becoming more focused, and I think, more realistic. Clearly, offering people $5 to buy their home is not working out so well.

I am trying a new plan: Sob letters. You think this could do the trick?

Ms. Home Owner,

How are you?

We are so excited to see ### XYZ Street come on to the market, as it is exactly the kind of house that our family can call home. When we toured the home, we were excited about all the memories that we could build there. From growing carrots and pumpkins in the vegetable garden, playing soccer on the lawn, using the attic for hide-and-seek, having friends over, walking to downtown, to eating breakfasts in the nook. Essentially, the house is a fantastic match for our growing family.

As we review the disclosures, we are delighted to discover this home has stayed in your family for all those years- and that will be our plan as well. What a legacy to leave this beautiful home to our children!

We are making our best offer, and hopefully, you will accept it and share with us your memories of this home.

Sincerely,
A&Z's Parents

Gut Feelings

It is official. Hubby and I signed the documents to terminate our contract on that house. It was exciting while it lasted, for 14 days.

In the end, neither of us REALLY wanted the house. I keep asking people we know who had bought homes, "How did you know it was the right house?" People essentially said, "We just knew, and we really wanted it." Well, for us, neither of us really wanted it, and while it was "good enough", for so much money, we think we can do better.

Of the three places Hubby and I have lived in since we got married, we really only chose our first residence. We had been married for about 1 month, (and lived with my very, very, sweet roommate from med school for that month), and needed to find a place to live in New York City. Back in 2000, with the dot come boom, it was maddening to find a place. We had to through realtors for rentals, and pay them a fee of 12% of the annual rent, up front. Yikes! I, made no money. Hubby, made some money, but had wanted to use some money to go to business school. We picked a neighborhood based on my best friend's recommendation- she works in historical preservation, and knows New York City like a tour guide. We saw three places in Brooklyn Heights, the first one was a dump. The door had at least ten locks on it, and the floor was totally slanted. The second place was beautiful, but a little out of our price range. We then switched realtors.

The third place, was love at first sight. While it was a railway apartment (you had to walk through the bedroom to get to either end of the apartment) and the bedroom was just big enough for a bed, we loved the building. We loved the landlord- he had inherited the building, and lived in it, took great pride in preserving it, and told us all about the copper ceiling (or something like that). His uncle also lived in the building and essentially, was our door man. We saw it, we both loved it and lived in it, happily, for 2 years.

We want that feeling again. The house won't be picture perfect, but we will know that OUR house will be perfect for us. I just think that the perfect house for us was already sold in April of this year- I had seen the house with Aidan, and I just loved it. But we weren't ready, and so, that must not be THE house.

The Drama

Do you ever wonder if your therapist is always paying attention and listening to every word? Do you ever wonder why your therapist asks you certain questions? Do you catch her yawning?

Well, I will admit this. If you're a patient of mine, you might not want to book the appointments between 1 and 3. I get SO tired by then. I try to listen to every word, but you know, sometimes, I get distracted by that nice looking couch you are sitting on, and I just want to put my face down on the cushion that you're using to support your back, and close my eyes. Just for a few minutes.

The other day, I ushered out my 1 pm person promptly at 1:50. I put my head down, and woke up precisely at 2 pm. Hubby thinks that is pure magic.

I actually know this well known psychopharmacologist who actually FELL asleep one time during session. His patient had to wake him up! So perhaps yawning isn't so bad.

I also find that my patients follow certain trends. For instance, for a while, I got a bunch of patients with R names. Then, there was a wave of depressed, middle aged women. Or a wave of young adult males who have legal problems. Lately though, there is a trend of women talking about, umm, anal sex. It is really weird, but all of the sudden, this subject is coming up A LOT. I will have to leave this at that.

With all the drama I hear about, I am thankful, that my life is pretty vanilla. Still, these days, there is all this stuff about the house that is in contract, stuff about drainage problems, negotiating with the sellers...etc. Then I wonder, what if this isn't the right house for us after all? I should go find a therapist's couch, not for naps, but for processing...

The Reasons We Are Moving

Hubby would love to live exactly where we live, until the end of time. While I could always use more space, I do like where we live. However, we have two reasons to move.

Here they are.

These kids take up a lot of space. And they get into Hubby's very delicate camera stuff- he now has a cracked lens, we don't know who the culprit(s) is/are, but I have my suspicions.

Last week, in a rare stroke of genius, I sent them outside to eat their bagels before I took them to school. It was brilliant. The kitchen area was then quiet for me to finish up all-the-crap-that-moms-do, and Hubby could finish up all-the-crap-that dads-do. Best of all, the house remained crumb free.

Aidan was happy to read his Lego magazine. Zoe was listening to the faint sirens from far away. It was a great way to start the day.

They are so cute. But boy, they create a lot of work...

Wife Wanted

Seeking a gracious and patient wife. Preferably non smoking. Must be forgiving and detail oriented. Helpful if not-too-old as this job requires high energy. Trilingual abilities in toddlerese, Mandarin, and English are essential.

There are a few big projects underway and help is desperately needed for the following:

1. Two energetic and delightful children are in process of transitioning into new schools. The five year-old is doing well, although his attitude regarding homework is sketchy at best. He also insists that he can read chapter books, and reality check will need to be done rather gently. The two year-old will be transitioning to her new school in about two weeks. Her routine is currently without consistency and that needs to be changed also.

2. A loving husband is working entirely too hard. Abilities to manage software projects would be useful to ease his burden. Must be willing to assist in photography business, preferably be trained in photographer skills, whatever these may be.

3. There is already a wife, however, she also needs help. She is not particularly gracious or patient. Also not all that forgiving. However, she is detail oriented. Assistance in schedule maintenance for her work is necessary. Her bedtime routine needs to be updated. She has become a very light sleeper and causing havoc for the operation. Sleep training is a must.

4. Expertise in building maintenance would be helpful, to figure out what 'needs' to get done, what 'would be nice' to get done, and to find financing for such work.

5. Nutritious meals are needed thrice a day, and at least for six days a week. Meal planning is a must, preferably using inexpensive, organic ingredients. It would also be necessary to have simple instructions and not-time-consuming. Ideally, meals should appear on the table within twenty minutes without needing to shop for groceries, while supervising children with various art projects.

6. Organization skills are required. All the closets, garage, and everything else in between, need to be packed away in order of necessity, boxed, labeled appropriately, Various items need to stay available for the next few months and should be quickly accessible.

These are just the needs at this time, as time goes on and as we evaluate your specific abilities, you will be given more responsibilities. The position is permanent, and will come with health benefits, although no vacation will be granted. And absolutely no sick days will be allowed. The compensation will mainly be deferred, thus, a great job at the present time would insure pay back in about 30 years.

Dear Mrs. S

Dear Mrs. S,

Thank you for being Aidan's kindergarten teacher! He is really enjoying your class, and hopefully, you're enjoying his presence too!

While it is super exciting to have a child in elementary school, it has been quite an adjustment for us, for the following reasons.

1. We need to get to school on time. I think there are two types of parents. The type of parents who are majorly stressed about getting their brood to school on time, and the type who try but aren't really bothered if they run late. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I fall in the first camp. That means, I am nearly hysterical if I even think we are going to be late. I much prefer to get to school ten minutes before you get the class and let Aidan run around a bit. I am not sure if the stress is a good thing for Aidan- whether it will help him to get to places on time as an adult, or make him scorn all those who strive to be on time.

2. Sometimes, I am not sure where my tax dollars go. It is simply shameful that the school has to do so much fund raising, or else the children won't have music lessons, books, or teachers! I also cannot believe that we have to supply printer papers, soap, and other supplies. Good grief. When I attended an American elementary school a very long time ago, we had all the papers we wanted! All the kleenex we needed! (At the time, I thought it was weird that American schools came with all this supplies, but I guess I had gotten spoiled.) Seriously, I cannot believe how much we have to give (it is paying another tax) to just be sure Aidan can wipe his hands.

3. Then, I wonder, perhaps the school should just levy a tax so that all these parents won't have to rush to Staples to buy the same stuff. However, when I was at Staples today, buying ten hand soap dispensers, I was shocked to see that the price was $3.99 EACH. I had signed up for ten of those for his class room. I was NOT about to pay $40 (plus tax!) to buy soap. I lugged Zoe next door to Target and bought them for $1 each. It was then super clear, that if the school did collect money for these items, parents will wonder, where is this money going? Why is it so expensive? Then it dawned on me. This was a simplified version of Obamacare. His plan of taxing people to buy healthcare for everyone, would probably mean that we no longer had a choice of what kind of soap, what kind of physicians, what kind of care we can determine for ourselves and inevitably, it will be much more expensive than if I had a choice in what to do about my care. Frankly, I like picking out stuff for myself! The government has no business running healthcare, when it can barely hold itself accountable to stay in its budget. But alas I digress...

4. Homework is HARD for me. I am so sorry that we slacked off on the first assignment. I swear, Aidan did not say that he needed to color things in. He said the most important thing to put on the paper is to write his name. So he did. I promise, I will MAKE him tell me what needs to be done, and darn it, I am going to stay on top of this! Even if it kills me.

Well, we will have to check in later about the progress of his acquisition of basic skills. I hope you will like us...

Cheers,
A's Mom

Possibly the Best Birthday Present Ever

Hubby and I have been doing some crazy stuff, like buying a house. This crazy stuff started two years ago, shortly after Zoe was born. Actually, let's be honest, it started after Aidan was born. Every time the baby cried, whichever baby, I would mutter, "We need to move!" I somehow developed this delusion that baby rearing would be easier with a bigger house. While possible, probably not likely.

After Aidan was sleep trained, the thought about moving dwindled. Then, Zoe came along. That again, fueled the desire for more space, and possibly, less noise from my bass loving neighbors. I randomly called up a realtor office on a Friday afternoon when clinic was incredibly slow. I got in touch with Sia, we talked, made an appointment. We met, we talked, I saw a couple of houses with her. She referred me to Lynn, a 'debt manager'. I met with Lynn, she looked through our financial papers, and we talked. Then Hubby and I decided that this was just not meant to be.

Then, the financial world went up in flames, and the US government decided to print new money. Hubby and I speculated that inflation will inevitably arrive, and we gotta get more debt for ourselves. To pay off with inflated greenbacks later.

I called Sia and Lynn earlier this year, much earlier this year. We talked. Hubby and I met with Sia and Lynn. I got banned from talking to Lynn (because I would say crazy things that made it all very confusing...) I started stalking various houses, checking Redfin obsessively everyday, met with Sia to tour homes. Then, we started making offers to actually buy a house.

On my birthday, yesterday, I woke up to delightful children, we ate French toast, we packed up the kids to go to the zoo, and just as we were about to leave, Sia came with the papers. We signed offer #4, which really was a remake of offer #3. You see, offer #3 was so low that the sellers didn't talk to us. We signed the papers, then went to the zoo. While I was at a birthday party with Aidan (not my party, but a sweet little girl's party), we heard that they accepted our offer. Shocking, really.

We went back to see the house today. Hubby and I are very happy with it. Aidan is thrilled that the house has an apple tree, a grapefruit tree, and blackberry bushes! Zoe is ecstatic with the swing. Sia came by earlier this evening to go through various disclosures with us, and wow. God really provided for us.

Apparently, after our offer was ratified, another offer came in. Then, two more agents wanted to make offers today. Yikes! Good thing our offer was ratified before it went into a bidding war, something that Hubby and I do not participate in, and really, cannot afford to do.

In retrospect, it was God's providence that I found Sia, so that we worked with Lynn, and that Sia led us to this house.

So, we are looking to close mid September, assuming Hubby and I actually manage to convince a bank to loan us money and come up with the down payment! Then it will be a mad race pack up our stuff and move.

Like I said, best birthday present, ever.

Laboring Pains

Dear Ms. L,

In 3 weeks, we will be delivering our little girl to your care. It will be a huge change for us, for her. Our little girl has not known a school day without big brother Aidan ever since she was born. Attending our current school has been a huge part of her life. As much as we love the facility that we have become so familiar with, we do not love the commute at all. Fighting all those commuters along 101 twice a day has caused this mother many screaming yelps. Let's not get this mother started on the ridiculousness of 'metering'- oh yeah, let's make all the cars STOP and then have to accelerate SUPER QUICKLY to catch up with the flow. That, my dear politicians, would not be green.

Alas I digress.

Our sweet Zoe is persistent- she lets you know what she wants. And she will repeat herself A LOT to be sure you understand. If you ever make mac n cheese and she gets wind of it, she will stand next to the stove and say, "Chee, chee, chee, chee, chee..." for the entire time your mac need to boil. If she requests for milk, and it takes you longer than a second to serve her, she will sit there and say, "Mil, Mil, Mil, Mil..." I suppose you get my drift.

She is gentle- whenever Aidan gets injured, she will give him hugs and kisses. When she sees other children crying, she wants to comfort them. When she sees this mother lose it, she makes her eyes incredibly round, as if to say, "Lady, you need to open your eyes and see what is important. Nobody will care about how much I complained as a toddler when I am off to college. You will miss me."

She is playful- she knows to hide, very quietly while holding very still, until you get close, then she will pull off the blanket and laugh hysterically. She likes to pretend she is a baby and asks for a binky. She loves to carry a huge purse full of c.r.a.p, I mean, treasures.

She is hilarious- she knows she is funny, and she is certain that she can convince us to keep on playing despite how tired she is.

She is Zoe. As much as we try to convince her to say her name, she never refers herself as Zoe, but will proudly say our last name, as if she is already a grown up, demanding more respect.

We are excited to see how she will grow, through potty training, making friends, verbalizing her feelings and needs, and working through the complexity of toddlerhood. This will be a great year.

Cheers,

Zoe's Mom