Crazy Talk

I think it is crazy talk that we are wrapping up 2009. It is obscenely crazy to talk about how we are wrapping up the decade.

On one hand, there is so much that I want/need to do; on the other hand, so much has already happened. In the spirit of counting down to the New Year, here is my count down.

10. Hubby and I are married for almost 10 years! (minus 3 months)
9. My ideal bed time, which never happens.
8. Zoe's current shoe size.
7. My current shoe size. 1 full size less than 10 years ago.
6. My parents now have 6 kids: Welcome to the family, Wendy and Simon!
5. 5 loads of laundry per week.
4. 4 orders of shrimp dumplings Aidan can eat at a dim sum lunch.
3. 3 years out of residency. And that many jobs too.
2. 2 very cute kids.
1. 1 adopted cat.

As we rang in 2000, Hubby and I were engaged still, and well, with all the worries over ushering in a new millineum, we had decided that he would simply spend the night at my parents' home instead of driving 26 miles back to his parents' home. My brother was not at home then (where was he, actually?!) and my sister and I spent a quiet evening with my-then-fiance. My parents came home from their church activities and were surprised that he was asleep in my brother's bed because nothing dangerous had actually happened. My mom, in particular, was very worried about "He might wake up in the middle of the night and DO something to you, that HE SHOULD NOT BE DOING." (BTW, my sister and I shared a room!) Thus, she wanted him to just go home! Anyway, back then, I thought life would be perfect if I no longer had my worried parents looking over me.

10 years later, I am now a worried mother. Don't do this, don't do that, stop this, why on earth would you think it is ok to do xyz...

Yup, a lot had happened. Just this week, I am seeing how BIG A&Z have gotten, how they are blossoming, and becoming more and more like us (yes, another reason why I am worried!)

2010 will be exciting, I am sure. There will be more newly acquired skills for the kids (self bathing kids, maybe?!) more chaos, and more joy. I am inspired to have simply one resolution: I am going to read through the Bible cover to cover again. (The last time I was able to do this was when I was in college!) It is time to do this, so that I can experience God all the more! Who wants to do this with me?

Holiday Wrap Up

Aidan and Zoe are both off from school this entire week- first time, ever, since they were born! I am, thus, playing the role of a stay-at-home mom, and it has been fun, actually. So much so that there are times I look at them longingly and wonder if this is an accurate depiction of life when Obamacare kicks in and I quit my day job. Usually, at the exact moment, the children so something totally NUTTY and I quickly decide that if Obamacare kicks in, I will just have to work my way around the regulations- by not taking any kind of insurance whatsoever. But that is another post for another day.

We have had a lot of fun this Christmas. The light at the end of this tunnel, before it takes a deep, dark turn, is becoming brighter. It is true, the magical age is 3 and 6 for families with two kids: this is the time that they start to play together, fight with each other, and basically, need me less, (or more, depending how one interprets the situation!) Aidan and Zoe LOVED Christmas, and Hubby and I are so thankful for all that we have been given/entrusted.

Here are some quick photos to update y'all.

I baked, and baked, AND BAKED, to make these: They were filled with brioche rolls, marshmellows, and red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting (packaged separately in charming Whole Foods take out containers.)


Aidan is very good at ice-skating. BTW, ice-skating at Union Square in SF is a rip off ($49 for four of us, for 90 minutes?!) I am clearly in the wrong career. Should have cordoned off large areas of land in the middle of the city- why wasn't I alive about 200 years ago?!



We have also adopted a cat! I know, totally unlike us. I didn't grow up with pets, and thus, have no need for pets. Hubby grew up with a ginormous Rottweiler and only wants dogs as pets. Our agreement is when we live on an acre of land, with ample space for the canine, we can get a dog. (This will probably happen in June of NEVER, since we will NEVER move to a place where we can afford an acre- all the money we have are taken hostage by ice-skating rinks!)

I have, however, house sat for two families as a college student, and both families had cats. There was Professor H's Bingo, and Professor A 's Grandall. Bingo was an indoor/outdoor dual purpose feline: every morning, I opened the screen door and asked him, "Bingo, you want to go out?" I made him stay out, unless he meowed and told me otherwise, until my bedtime, when I yelled, "Bingo! COME IN!" I dutifully emptied his litter box, and while I don't remember this, I must have fed him daily too. There was an evening when we heard HOWLING in the yard, and saw Bingo duke it out with some lizards...

Grandall, on the other hand, was an indoor cat who lived to eat. I remember distinctly feeding him one can of wet food and 1/3 cup of dry food. We almost lost him the day before Professor A returned- he RAN out to the street! Esther and I CHASED him down. When Professor A came back, her husband, the other Professor A remarked that Grandall was so trim...(apparently, because I 'withheld' food and only fed him what I was told to do!)

How I managed to live with cats all summer is now an interesting fact. Was I allergic to cats then? Or did I just suck it up because living with cats = no rent?

When we bought our current residence, the sellers had sheepishly told us that they had been feeding a cat in the neighborhood and asked that we be kind to this cat. They had arranged it with some other neighbors to feed this cat. Hubby and I said, "Ok, no problem. Leave the cat alone = Get your beautiful house. Awesome." For the last two months, we would see this really LARGE cat wandering around, and we waved to the cat, and cat left us alone. Then last week, the neighbors who had been feeding the cat came by to see if we would feed the cat when they went on vacation. We said, "Sure!"

Surely enough, on Sunday morning, this cat was by our patio door. Waiting. I RAN and got the food, I fed him Grandall's portion: 1 can + 1/3 cup kibbles. The cat ate it, and stared at me for more.

Quickly, I facebooked the sellers for more info about this cat, mainly, name, gender, appropriate portions, and of course: Where did this cat come from?!

Turns out, Moose is his name. He belongs to Camille, who had found him under some bushes about seven years ago. Camille had to move away a few months prior to us moving in and couldn't take the cat. Moose refused to go with Camille's daughter. The sellers of our house offered to keep feeding this cat. And now, Moose is one of us.

We are trying to make Moose comfortable, he has a cat condo, we are putting him on a diet to prolong his life, and while he will remain an outdoor-only cat, we will do our best to love him.

Aidan and Zoe are thrilled that we have a pet!

The Christmas Race

I break out our Christmas bins the day after Thanksgiving every year, and then it is off to the Christmas race. Most of December is a blur of shopping, standing in line, wrapping, planning, collecting... It always seemed like a good idea to make home made things for our relatives, until the week of Christmas, when I actually have to do something about it.

When will I smarten up?!

Meanwhile, life goes on, of homework, laundry, food prep, work...

Hubby decided to take the children on an adventure so that I could go to the bank, Trader Joe's, a Chinese grocery store, and a crafts store. We RACED to the train station- the train was coming as Hubby ran to buy tickets, and I dragged Zoe up the ramp, and shoved them in the train. I then went to all four destinations in less than 100 minutes, while they went to SFO, I picked them up at the international terminal, came home, made lunch, served lunch, and then cleaned up lunch.

I went on and on and on with Aidan earlier today, about how much work is involved in the planning, making, serving, and cleaning of meals, of the washing, drying, and folding of laundry. He looked at me and said, "I know, that is what Mommy is suppose to do!" Touche. Indeed, my calling is that: To serve these kids... How I resist that so often! Thankfully, the Prefect One, whose birth we will celebrate in five days, died on the cross for this too!

K

Two weeks ago, one of my oldest and sweetest friends, K, sent me an e mail about some bad news. That evening, I shooed the kids away, and called her. She cried and I cried. The she laughed and I laughed.

Hubby and I talked about the situation, and it was determined that if a chance arose, I would go see her, no matter what.

The opportunity came, and I booked my flight. In the darkest moments before dawn, I crept out of the house and climbed into my car, which had already been parked on the street- I dared not wake up the children by opening up the garage- and drove to the airport. I promptly got lost on my way to the airport- absolutely no clue how I did this. For my real life friends, this airport I went to involved using a bridge, and somehow, I missed my exit, and kept going, and then I ended up driving through some SKETCHY places...

I got to see K, and her family. While I was ecstatic about a little boy that is growing in her, we were also devastated by her mom's illness. To experience the extremes of joy and sorrow, at the same time, was just overwhelming. Sweet K does read this blog, and thus, My Sweet K, big hugs for you again.

We met in college- in the dinning hall, about the first week of school. I had some how drew into this dorm by my lonesome- all my other friends had drew into a different dorm across the courtyard, I know, I know, SO far away. I had gone to the dinning hall by myself and was determined to make new friends. Somehow I sat with K and some other women, and I started to tell them why poop is brown. (Totally, charming.) From then on, we started to hang out more and more. Our gang consisted of K, me, and L. (L lives close by and will actually be going to Aidan's 'Holiday' sing along with us this Thursday!) We were as different as night and day, yet the three of us grew closer and closer. We even took a trip to Maui before my senior year! After I graduated, K and I would meet each other whenever we could. She met me in NY, PA, and I only wished I could have met her in Quebec- but alas, multiple deaths in my family that winter prevented me from making the trip. But I also think, that prior to K and L, I was too closed off, and to drive six hours to see someone was silly. I am so glad, that God has used K and L, to make me more people-centered, and less practicality-centered.

Pray for K's family, would you? They need it, and I crave it even more for them.

Getting Ready for Christmas

As the children have gotten older, there are a few things we want to teach them about Christmas.
1. Santa is not real. If you know us in real life, and your child goes home to tell you that Aidan said Santa is not real, you can blame us. He has always been told that Santa is fake.
2. Just as we look forward to the birth of Christ, we also wait expectantly to open our earthly Christmas presents. This, is a hard one to master. They like to go shake their presents (forbidden), touch them (again, forbidden), and move them around (definitely forbidden.)
3. Christmas is about sacrifice- actually, if I can have it my way, every lesson would be about sacrificial love. Thus, we are encouraging the children to buy each other a little present. Aidan was SO happy to go on a special expedition with me last Friday. He was absolutely giddy. For some reason, he really wanted to get Zoe some PetShop goodies. Then, on Saturday, we too the children to the mall to finish their Christmas shopping. Let's just say that it is weird to go to the mall together and keep exchanging children. Zoe really wanted some pink scissors from the Sanrio store, and took off running back to the store with tears streaming down her chubby cheeks when she realized her bag was empty. At least the girl has a built-in compass- she ran in the right direction. So I forked over the goodie.


As for me, I am realizing a few things about myself.
1. Gift wrapping is just not my forte. Every year, I make the resolution to be like Martha Stewart in my packaging of goodies. I buy the ribbons, the papers, the tissues. But when it comes down to it, I lose all steam. I think: "This is SO NOT green, all this beautiful paper to be ripped apart, and the beautiful satin ribbons, to be thrown away, WHY bother?" I also tend to wrap my gifts too early, then they sit under the tree and gather dust and sap...
2. We have this delusional idea that our friends and family will appreciate us postponing our annual photo card until Easter- we do it because we are too busy in December, and then, well, we forget to do it in the spring, and thus, I think we have been written off by most of our friends. Only the faithful few have continued to send cards to the Great Abyss, I mean, our household.
3. I don't understand this: Nearly everyone I know is baking something for Christmas. I have heard about these 'cookie exchanges' a few of my patients have mentioned to me recently. These people bake 15 DOZENS of cookies, go to some gathering, and come home with 15 DOZENS of different kind of cookies. WHO can humanly eat 15 dozens of cookies? Seriously. If we don't eat like that January through November, why would we want to in December?! (So that we can go buy exercise gear in January? Seriously.)

Nonetheless, our tree is lit, the gifts are wrapped (and the children are getting equal number of gifts- I triple checked), mostly with ribbons. And I have grand plans of doing some baking of my own. To my credit, I will be making bread, because, bread can be whole wheat, and thus, SO much better for you. Let's see if my relatives actually will eat the bread I plan on making. =)

A Fine Line

I wrote about giving some advice to a couple regarding their TV a few days ago. Then I thought about the fine line of remaining a neutral therapist vs. giving advice.

Clearly, people come to see me because they need help. Often times, they are severely depressed and can't get their circumstances to work for them. Other times, they have some deep seated issues that is making them unable to deal with the lives they are given to live.

But do they need me to tell them to give up their TV?

Or, another couple asked me for my advice about how to deal with a child's interest in parental nudity.

I mean, they can look these things up on the internet, right? Why are they asking me?

Just to be clear, I really like giving advice. (Is that a surprise?)

However, I also know the utility of these sessions isn't about giving them information ALL the time.

In the case of the nudity question, after exploring WHY they are asking me, WHAT they want to do, WHY aren't they doing that, and all, the real issues and fears finally came up, and it was really about their own experiences as children, and how they want her to have a different experience.

In the case of the TV, it was really about avoidance.

Of course, after discussing the real issues, I will give some advice. Freud is probably rolling over in his grave...

And just to be clear, there are times when advice giving is absolutely contraindicated...

BTW, it would appear as though my children no longer pose for photos, but that is not the case. Hubby has photos of them. I just don't know where my camera went after the move. Isn't that ironic? A photographer's wife doesn't know where her camera is. Just like the dentist's kids have the worst teeth.

Camp

I have been working with this couple in therapy for quite some time. They are a delight to work with- they come as they are, they bicker in session the way they do at home, they are willing to be vulnerable, to not be defensive, and in a lot of ways, they are just like me.

I like it when my patients are just like me. I identify with their problems, joys and sorrows. However, it also makes it difficult to remain completely neutral.

Like when I see them at soccer.

This particular couple have children, just about as old as A&Z are. They know this, because they have seen me RUN to the potty with Zoe during Aidan's soccer practice.

Today, towards the end of our session, somehow, I suggested that they might want to consider getting rid of cable. I suggested that because the theme in treatment revolved around not having enough time and feeling overwhelmed.

These two issues: not having enough time and feeling overwhelmed, are well known to me! I live that! A practical for Hubby and I to solve this prevailing problem in our society is to not watch TV. Truthfully, we used to have cable, when it came with my med school dorm and then later, our first apartment. However, from those two years, I knew what a time suck TV can be. During my second year of school, I used to watch The Titanic ALL the time. I bet I could have really mastered immunology had I not been watching all that TV- you see, the complement system is still beyond me, thankfully, that topic has NEVER come up in my practice.

Anyway, since moving to California, we didn't want to spend our own hard earned, post tax money on cable. Thus, A&Z only get to watch cable when we are in hotels, or when they go to other people's houses. Aidan had a play date about a month ago, that when I went to pick him up, Edith asked me, "You don't have TV at home, do you? That is all he wanted to do!" Yup, that is my child. To be clear, Aidan does watch some programs, whatever we can get on Netflix, mainly, SpongeBob Squarepants. However, not having traditional TV and cable in our home has really minimized the begging for junk food, nagging for more plastic stuff, and all that.

To not be sucked into sitting on the couch nightly is truly how this household can function. I get so much done in the evenings!

Of course then, I realize my house is like camp. There is a schedule to everything, and when the camp schedule isn't followed closely, we run into problems. For instance, this camp works best when I shower first in the morning, and Hubby showers while the kids and I eat breakfast, and then he gobbles something down while the kids put on shoes. This morning, we deviated from the plan! GASP. Hubby ATE breakfast with the kids, then got ready! THE HORROR!!! Fun was had by everyone, but this mother wasn't able to load herself in the car at 8:45. She finally got in the car at 8:49! THE HORROR.

Like I said, I belong to camp life.

Perhaps I am a bit of an extreme, but trust me, getting rid of your cable and having a schedule will help you. With kids or without.

p.s. I should also come clean, that when the Olympics, world skating championships, and like are on, I REALLY miss not having TV stations... but still, the other times, I don't even think about it.

Thanksgiving, Part II

The house is quiet again, Hubby took the children to get our Christmas tree and gave me a chance to run with the crowds and get ourselves ready for gift-giving. I actually overslept, and missed out on $3 crock pots and toasters at Target. While waiting to pay, I called my mom, who lives on the East Coast. Her first words were: "What are you doing up so early? Isn't it 6 there?"

Anyway, to pick up from where I left off.

M: MTV- I am thankful for our freedom of press, while I don't watch MTV, I think, in theory, it is good to have such a channel.

N: No- I must teach my children to obey this very important word. They have gotten better at it, and often times, they surprise me with their obedience, "No, Zoe, we are not buying candy, please put it back." And she does put it back!

O: Obedience- I am thankful that Aidan is learning so much at Sunday School. It is hilariously awesome to hear him sing to himself, "Trust and obey, for there is no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."

P: Parking- It is good that I get to park so close to the house, so that unloading groceries, children, and all kinds of crap is made so much easier.

Q: Queen- Since Hubby is making a movie titled Zany Zoe, she is reminded, during these filming sessions, to walk "like a queen." She typically runs away so fast that all we see is a blur on the screen. For more info, check out Hubby's blog, for this video.

R: Remote- Oh where oh where has my TV remote gone? Oh where oh where can it be? It is gray with buttons all over it, oh where oh where can it be?

S: Santa- Maybe we are party poopers, but Santa is truly a fictitious character in our house. Aidan and Zoe knows that we bring them presents, their extravagant aunties and uncles and grandparents bring them presents. Not a marketing ploy from Coca-Cola.

T: Time- I am thankful for the time that I get to have with my family. I need more time, and thus, I have decided to work every other Monday in 2010. The schedule already reflects as such! Hopefully, it will mean less stress for everyone here.

U: Umbrella- It is looking like today is an umbrella necessary day, for which I am thankful. We need the rain! Meanwhile, when the landscaper came out to inspect the yard, he was shocked that we were still watering 3 times a week. Apparently, in the winter, we can turn off the sprinklers as long as there is rain every two weeks or so!

V: Victory- We have declared victory regarding Zoe's potty training. Thankfully, she has only had 2 accidents here at home. The first one was my fault- I didn't up get her up on the porcelain throne quickly enough- she sprayed the bathroom floor... Also, no poopie accidents! We are now ready to get rid of those nighttime diapers!

W: Win- I am thankful that Jesus won on the cross. Thankful that I don't have to be good. (Again, another good reason to forgo the whole Santa thing. Contrary to these words, "You better watch out, you better be good, you better not cry, you better not pout, Santa Claus is coming to town.") Instead, we say, "Thank God that Jesus died for this too, so that I don't have to be perfect."

X: XXX- I am glad that Jesus came to this earth the way he did. It must have been quite the XXX scandal for Mary. Thankfully, God's love is so extravagant, and thus, I am saved.

Y: Yams- I am thankful there is a vegetable to be eaten with candy. Actually, even though I thought it would be a huge hit with Aidan and Zoe, Aidan told me later the he wasn't so impressed with my marshmallow topped yams. "Mommy, it was too sweet."

Z: Zimbabwe's currency- Aidan found a dollar bill in the amount of 1,000,000,000,000 Zimbabwe dollar. He looked all the zeros and asked how much it would be in US money, when I told him about 5 cents, he left it on the bathroom floor. Hilarious.

I am thankful for my Hubby, Aidan, Zoe, our new home, our jobs, our health, and most of all, our salvation. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It is late, Hubby is out hanging out with his brother who is visiting from So Cal, the kids are asleep, and I am enjoying a moment to reflect and plan...

A: Apple crisps- I have started making these tasty treats in the crock pot, they are great for breakfast, dessert, snacks... I use about 6 fuji apples, peeled and sliced, about 4 tbsp butter, cut in the big chunks, about 1 cup oatmeal, about 1 cup flour, some cinnamon, 1/2 cup white sugar, a big lump of brown sugar, 1/2 cup fluids (water or juice). Cook on high, 2-3 hours. It is a loosy goosy recipe, but always turns out great.

B: Babies- after taking a 3 year hiatus from making Thanksgiving from scratch due to being pregnant with a baby, and having a little baby, I made our feast today. It is a milestone, marking the fact that we no longer have a baby in the house, and until grandbabies come along, no more babies here.

C: Crock pots- I am motivated to use my crock pots more, to feed my family better, and to keep my mind more sane at 5 pm. I am thankful that I have counter top space to always have one out!

D: Dancing- watching A&Z do their victory dances make me happy and thankful.

E: Electronic payments- I am thankful for this, because, I am getting paid tomorrow!

F: Friends- I am thankful for our sweet friends who have been so incredibly supportive of us!

G: Garage- I am thankful that our new home comes with lots of storage in our garage. I officially banished Hubby's college/B school textbooks there today.

H: Hubby- I am thankful for him. I am thankful that we met when I was 17, and our 10th anniversary is coming up next year!

I: iPhone- An amazing invention. How did I ever live without it?

J: Jail- I am thankful that God has given me some work through the jail. It really puts things in perspective...

K: Knees- I am thankful that Aidan learned to ride on a two wheeler without scraping his knees.

L: Laughter- I am glad I married someone who has a prominent laughing gene.

The rest of the alphabets will have to wait... I am tired and there is a shopping list to be made for Black Friday!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Angels

The day did not start well- my eyelids popped open at 5:35 AM. What for? Who knew? After staring at the dark ceiling for a while, I dragged myself out of bed and made the lists for my day.

There was the needed trips to various grocery stores- I needed meat from Costco, but did not want to buy grapes from there, we could not possibly eat five pounds of grapes! There was also the commitment to assist Aidan's teacher, the non-negotiable wait-at-home time for a chair to be delivered, the jackets to drop off at Zoe's friend's house, furniture to buy...blah, blah, blah. By 7:15, when the children woke up, I was miserable.

Hubby was busy with something else that I had requested for him to do (house related, BORING stuff) and thus, he wasn't at home to help me. The children misbehaved, argued over who could have the last container of chocolate milk vs. guava juice, whined about school, all while I was packing lunch and starting a crock pot of pork chops. By the time I looked at the clock, it was 8:35. I had exactly 30 minutes to throw the kids in the car, drop Zoe off, and make it to Aidan's school by 9:05. Thankfully, an angel showed up, and he very kindly threw the kids in the car, and we drove off at 8:41.

The morning continued, I was miserable. Cranky, irritable, impatient, and tired of all the stuff that wives/mothers/humans have to do.

I met Hubby, the angel who had helped me earlier for lunch, but boy, I was quite cranky, irritable, and impatient. At the end though, this angel sure cheered me up.

I then went to IKEA. The plan was to buy this table for our eating area. How it was going to fit in our Mazda Protege was beyond me, but you know, this had to be done. As I walked out of the store with all my big boxes, I really didn't think about how I would 1. lift it into the car, 2. make it fit, and 3. make it back in time to get Aidan and Zoe and Hubby... Then, an angel showed up. He was dressed as the cart person at IKEA, and he 1. lifted all the boxes for me, 2. made it all fit by strapping the huge table top on the roof rack of the car, 3. and did it all in about 10 minutes.

As I drove home, I couldn't stop thinking about how awesome my Heavenly Father is. He KNOWS me, He knows I can be cranky, irritable, and impatient (the very traits I find incredibly annoying in my children!) yet He doesn't stop showing me his grace and provision.

The table is now assembled, the children are asleep, and this mother is resting in the grace of God.

Boundaries

Sometimes, I am very good at preserving my boundaries, sometimes, I am so tempted to break these carefully established boundaries.

For instance, Hubby's day job is actively hiring tech writers and programmers- if we know you in real life, get in touch with us for us to refer you- and as I come across people who are unemployed, underemployed, or just unhappy with their jobs, I am SO tempted to say, "Hey, you wanna talk to my Hubby, for this awesome place to work?" Of course, I can't really do that, I mean, how will I tell Hubby why this person is calling? It would break confidentiality, unless I get their permission to do so, but then again, would I want to see the said person at the Christmas party? With my current patients, and this particular person, I wouldn't mind, but still, awkward...

Then, I have this female patient who is successful at her job, but terrible at her relationships (she would say the same, trust me), who desperately want to find a male partner. Of course, we are working on her idea that paired off people are always happier- NOT true. Meanwhile, I have this male patient, established in his career, wants to be better at his relationships- people tell him he is 'difficult'- and trust me, he would say the same if he were here. So anyway, I imagine this: What would happen if they met in my waiting room, would they hit it off, and since both are aware of their difficulties, would it work? Or would it end up like Sex and the City, where Carrie goes to see a therapist because she chooses bad boys, and then dates a guy who is seeing the same shrink because he is a bad boy?

Never a dull day at the office, if these patients lives don't occupy my mind enough, my own imaginations keep me busy...

Just for the record, in case the Medical Board of California is spying on me: I have NO intentions of referring people to Hubby's work, and ABSOLUTELY no intentions of setting people up, NOT EVEN switching my schedule around so that the above two people might run into each other. ABSOLUTELY not.

Ramblings

While a sweet friend requested photos of our new dwelling, I can't attend to that today. Today's post will be my ramblings about stuff.

I heard on the radio the other day, as I ferried the kids around town, about some study that the American Heart Association did that showed about 1/5 of all heart failure patients who got discharged from the hospital got readmitted soon after. Their conclusion was that the lack of adequate communication between hospitalists and primary care was the problem. Therefore, with the health care reform, and the required electronic system, this problem would go away and thus, heart patients won't be readmitted, and thus, saving money. (Keep in mind, I have no idea what the study was actually about, just the snippet that I heard.)

First of all, TONS of heart failure patients get readmitted ALL THE TIME, even when their primary care doctors saw them in a clinic about 200 yard from the hospital wing where these patients got diuresed. (I know this, because I was the intern that treated these patients and arranged for their follow up appointments.) Why? Not because their primary docs didn't know what meds they were prescribed, but because, these people, tend to REALLY enjoy salty foods. Thus, they went back into heart failure and needed to be hospitalized, again. Doctors do not, and cannot, chain their patients to the clinic to make sure they don't eat what they are not suppose to eat, such as KFC fried chicken, PEOPLE, need to be responsible for their own choices.

Secondly, PEOPLE, need to take charge of their own care, and BRING their medications to their doctors appointments, and ALL papers from a hospitalization. Doctors are not allowed to stalk people, after all.

With all this H1N1 outrage, I find the media coverage incredulous. Why aren't these reporters talking about how many people DIE from obesity annually? Or how many people die from smoking? I am quite certain that the deaths related to obesity and smoking will FAR outweigh the death toll of this influenza outbreak. PEOPLE, lose some weight, your immune system will work better and thus, you can better fight off the flu. Stop smoking also, so that your lungs can actually fight off various infections better too.

Finally, the letters to the editor in today's Wall Street Journal are absolutely HILARIOUS. Be sure you scroll down and read the ones by Drs. Foxx and Kurtz.

Where Did You Get It?

The H1N1 saga continues, not just in hospitals, clinics, and the media, but also in my office.

The other day, I saw a patient who works as an office manager for a group of pediatricians, and she was utterly overwhelmed, about H1N1. Since she is the office manager, she is in charge of dealing with all the phone calls demanding the vaccines. Apparently, her office has hundreds of names on the waiting list, but they have no idea when they will be given more vaccines. People are sending her hate mails, calling her and accusing her of giving the scarce vaccines to her friends and family.

Then, today, a father asked me if I was vaccinated, and if I got my kids vaccinated. I could have said, "Well, do you think I was vaccinated, why would you think that? Does it matter?" However, I felt that he just wanted to know, that as a mother and a physician, did I try to get my kids vaccinated. I said I did, and obviously, the next question was, "Where did you get it?"

Most of the time, I feel kind of sheepish admitting that I chose for my family to get our medical care at a very large HMO in our area. (I had also looked for a job with the said HMO...) Why sheepish? Because there are times that I feel like I am a sheep, or cattle, to be herded there. On the other hand, as healthy as we are, there really is very utility to get a fancy PPO plan. Of course, that meant when I was post delivery for Zoe, I shared a room with a Spanish speaking woman, and it was like watching Telemundo 24/7 for two days... Anyway, if there is something that this HMO does well, is getting people vaccinated. (Still, I know they ran out of various flu vaccines.)

I suppose what I am saying is this, I feel badly that we were able to get A&Z vaccinated. How bad will the flu season be? Well, it won't be good, but probably not as catastrophic as the media is making it.

Trick or Treat

A few weeks ago, Hubby had a photo gig first thing in the morning. The plan was that I would take charge of the noise makers and meet him at church. So there we were, zooming down 101 to get to church, when I thought that Zoe was being rather quiet. I looked at her via the rear view mirror, and as I looked, I heard this gurgling of fluids: She had barfed. Immediately, Aidan covered his face and screamed, "It smells!" I tried to keep Zoe calm and sped along to get to church. There was no utility to stop regardless, clearly, I needed a water source for this.

Anyway, Zoe was cleaned up (it was a miracle that I had a spare outfit for her- not common scenario here), we went to church (we kept her with us instead of sending her to the nursery, just in case) and Hubby took the kids home immediately after church. As he left, he said, "I will make lunch." I thought he meant, "I will heat up leftovers." You see, I had really wanted to eat a particular soup item in the fridge.

I drove home, and upon entering the house, I realized this: Hubby was not heating up leftovers. He was making a WHOLE NEW meal. Yes, a rational, logical person would be very appreciative. But this wife was not particularly rational or logical. This wife wanted that soup! So I pouted and eventually admitted that I was, in fact, acting like a baby.

Then I realized this: It is hard for my Hubby EVERYDAY. He never knows, upon coming home after a hard day of work, whether it would be a trick or a treat on the table. Would it be scrambled eggs with tofu (something I had made for him about 12 years ago, yes, it was really, really, gross) or would it be a five course meal.

He reassured me that he usually found treats at home, in his words, "Any food is a treat." Still, it became clear to me that I like to control what appears on the table. Thus, it is a good thing that in the division of labor around here, I got the kitchen duty.

Digging Out

We are slowly digging out of this mountain of boxes and running into the problem of storage space. In our old house, we had lots of built-ins, and thus, lots of stuff were out of sight, out of mind. Because of the built-ins, we also did not have much furniture to move (although we did run out of space in the truck- can you imagine if we had more furniture?!) We are now needing more furniture to storage all this stuff.

Buying furniture is a bit dreadful for me, because well, what if I have bad taste? (And to buy good taste through a decorator is just not me, either. Perhaps I am doomed to have bad taste?) Therefore, we might have to live with bad taste, or live with brown boxes in eternity. It is a choice that I will have to make. Wish me luck.

Meanwhile, Aidan has been off from school for the last three weeks. In these three weeks, it is like something in his brain got turned on. Some DNA got transcribed, and there are now proteins initiating all kinds of cascade, probably calcium mediated, and now, he is reading. It is rather incredible, and as I spell words out in conversation in my attempt to shield these children/myself, he is now repeating the letters and sounding them out.

Me: "Hubby, what should we do about all the c-a-n-d-y we will get this weekend?"

Aidan: "c-a-n- what? What are you saying?"

Me: Trying to ignore him... "Should we set a limit?"

Aidan: "Caaan... what are the other letters?"

Me, thinking: Great, all that effort, to just ruin my own conversation.

It is a very exciting time, nonetheless. Being a competitive person that I am, I can't wait for him to go back to kindergarten and show his teacher his new ability and become the top reader of his class. (This poor, poor, child.)

In these last three weeks, we had gotten ourselves properly vaccinated. Frankly, we never got the flu shot when we were growing up, living in dorms, and we never actually got the flu. As a medical student, flu shots were not even offered through the school! (We were, vaccinated for all the other things, like hepatitis B.) Anyway, I started getting my flu shot as an intern- my fellow intern and I were eating lunch in the crapeteria, I mean, cafeteria, and the public health nurse came up to us and offered us the vaccination. After that, I could count on getting vaccinated over lunch for the flu. Each fall since the arrival of our offsprings, we made a family trip on a Saturday for all of us to get the seasonal flu shot. This year, after much discussion, we wanted to get the H1N1 vaccine as well. With the move and the aforementioned boxes, it was hard to find a time to go. The vaccine had been available at our doctor's practice since last week, but we just got around to it this morning.



There had been all kinds of hoopla about the seasonal flu can elevate one's risks for catching H1N1. In all the confusion, I consulted my allergy/immunology guru. According to her, the reason H1N1 can be so deadly is due to 'genetic polymorphism.' I had been praying that this clan's genetic polymorphism does not increase our need for intubation due to this nasty virus.

Meanwhile, my colleagues from various local hospitals had been telling me about young and healthy people becoming very, very sick, then coding, and getting intubated, and then for some, dying in the ICU. Also, some teaching hospitals around here are running out of ventilators.

Thus, the decision was fairly simple for us: Get the kids vaccinated. Because health care workers are deemed to be at elevated risk for H1N1, I was able to get myself vaccinated. Did we worry about Guillain Barre Syndrome? Not really. In my professional opinion as a mother, GBS can develop after a viral infection, any kind of viral infection, (one's risks are probably related to one's genetic polymorphism) and the risks of getting GBS from a vaccine is so low, (I think a frequently quoted risk is 1 in a million), we felt ok about that. Ironically, GBS treatment also includes the use of ventilators, like the H1N1 virus. So, it feels like our risks for needing a ventilator will be smaller getting the vaccine than not... (I know, I know, totally scientific!) Due to the shortage of the injectables, the children and I got misted today- we could get misted because we had gotten the injectable seasonal flu vaccine (one can't get misted twice within four weeks. BTW, the seasonal flu vaccine, can, also, theoretically, cause GBS.) Also, by getting misted, all of the vaccines we got were mercury free! Not that we think mercury can cause autism, but you know, avoid heavy metals seems like a good idea.

Allow a tangent, if you will. In all this debate about our health care system, it seems ridiculous to me, that politicians want us to believe that the new system, whatever it will be, will not need to ration care. That, is deluded. The fact is, we only have so many resources. For instance, there are not enough eggs for the vaccine makers to use to generate more vaccines. There are not enough ventilators to treat the victims. There are not enough ICU beds either. There are not enough hospital beds for the morbidly obese people- yes, they require special beds that won't collapse underneath them. There are only so many Tamiflu pills to go around! By creating a bigger demand, some folks will have to do without. I remember a colleague who told me that when he was working in Africa, if you coded, whether you got resuscitated or not depended on two things: 1. If the electric paddles were being used else where, and 2. If the extension cord was long enough to reach you. (Very, very, sad, but also very, very, real.) Anyway, the current system is not serving some folks, but to think that ALL people will be served by the SAME, high standard, is not realistic, in my opinion.

Now, we wait and see how this flu season will go. Meanwhile, I am bracing for lots of cancellations, and the waiting room has a HUGE dispenser for antimicrobial cleanser.

Last Time

I think this is the last time we will ever move with our two kids in tow. Probably, the next we move will be to 'retirement' communities as semi demented folks. Moving is just crazy.

First of all, I under estimated how much stuff we own. We ran out of space in a 24 footer truck! Hubby ended up jamming as much stuff as we could in our little sedans and with about 5 loads via our own vehicles, the move was completed.

Secondly, unpacking is hard to do while trying to distract two kids. Packing up wasn't so bad since we packed away stuff we hadn't used in a while (perhaps we should have packed it up and took it to Salvation Army...) Unpacking, however, offered no such luxury. As much as I tried to label the boxes, everything was urgently needed. Of course, somethings were never meant to be found urgently. Like pens. (We are operating this house without pens, so when I return messages, I have to type up these phone numbers, and let's just say that I am not very good at typing up numbers...)

Thirdly, this house would be too fabulous to move away from. We are simply loving all the extra space (I know, I know, someday soon, I will probably be moaning about how we don't have enough space and we MUST move) and how beautiful the home is. BTW, we are now friends with the sellers on Facebook. The internet is an amazing thing.

Anyway, we are enjoying the house. I no longer have to worry about being too loud when I am returning phone calls in the evenings, and that somehow, I would be disturbing everyone else. There is so much more storage that I can have all my baking dishes out.

Since I am a reminiscing kind of gal, I was remembering the last three times that Hubby and I moved.

We moved into our first apartment in Brooklyn Heights in June of 2000. We rented a U-Haul truck, drove to the Target in Nyack, NY and the Sam's Club in Elmsford, NY, (a big deal because we had to pay toll- could we afford five dollars? - to cross the Tappen Zee bridge to get to Nyack) picked up all our furniture, and drove to Brooklyn. Hubby assembled furniture and I unpacked. We were moved in a two days.

Then we moved across the country. All that furniture were donated to Salvation Army- we didn't have time to sit around to try to sell them. Our parents took a few suitcases for us on the plane, and we jammed everything else into a rented Ford Explorer and drove to CA. Good times, good times. (I kept a travel journal and logged how many road kills we saw- there were LOTS. Even armadillo road kills...)

Then we moved a block away into the first home A&Z lived in. As the house grew empty, I was rather sad that we were leaving the place where they had so many firsts. The first times they vomited, had diarrhea, cried all night long, ate solids, smiled, kicked me, you know, good times.

I wonder what this house will bring. God willing, we will live here for a very long time, maybe I will even get to host future son-in-law and daughter-in-law here?

Never Thought...

I never thought this day would come, the day that I would say, "This is our last weekend in this house!"

When we had bought this house in 2003, we had thought we would live in it FOREVER. Fast forward six years, and we are full to the brim and spilling over. We have about 120 boxes of assorted sizes packed and I think we are in pretty good shape for our movers on Thursday. I should pack up more china and crap, I mean, things, this weekend, but you know, we still need some of our stuff, just to stay clean and fed for the next few days.

Meanwhile, closing escrow is much more complicated than I ever imagined. For all my faithful readers, here are some tips.

5. Make sure you read all the papers at document signing. Hubby's name was misspelled. And there were loan documents for Shrema and Rajav (not their real names, so don't worry, confidentiality is totally intact).
4. It is ridiculous how title companies charge you to research the title of your new home, to be sure no one has a lien on it, and then they charge you insurance, in case they are not thorough in their research. Then they will charge you a FedEx fee, an e mail fee, and a courier fee. How is that documents need all three?!
3. Do not move your money around while you are thinking about buying a house. Hubby and I had this brilliant idea, after hitting our heads against the wall with offers 1-whatever-ever-it-ended-up-being, that we decided to pool our money and stash it away to earn more interest. At 1.75 percent. (Gasp, such a high rate!) We ended up needing to write multiple letters, with lots of computer printouts, showing this money trail. Totally. A. Waste. Of. Time.
2. Then, be sure that you know exactly how to wire your money to places your hard earned dollars need to go. For instance, online banks do not allow you to wire your money to an account that does not have your name on it, such as 'your' escrow account (since the account actually does not have your name on it.) Therefore, you need to wire that money to your local bank, where hopefully you have an account, and then, have that bank wire it to your escrow company, after they verify your identity in person.
1. The Fed has to wire the money, and thus, you have to send in your wiring requests by 5 EST. Then, they will act on it the next business day. So you shouldn't try to close escrow on a Friday, because things happen, and you will end up closing on Tuesday...

Considering how many people are making money on our transaction, it is rather disappointing that no one told us these five essential facts of life. But still, we are absolutely thrilled. So thrilled, that Aidan and I had already ordered some books to be shipped to our new house!

Milestones

I cannot believe Zoe is ready to be potty trained. It feels like we just trained Aidan, or rather, Aidan trained himself.

Perhaps it is an indication that we are rather blasē parents, but we simply lack the energy to make our kids do stuff. (Don't get me wrong, A&Z are MADE to be safe, to have manners, and all that, but learning a skill is a different category.)

With Aidan, we had thought that we would teach him, (before we became 'child directed' kinda of parents), and got him into some big boy underpants when he was about 2.5 years old. Let's just say that a huge accident led him back into diapers, and for my faithful readers, that was the day I accidentally laundered, and dried, poop.

Needlessly to say, we put our stuff away for a while. Then, lo and behold, one day, Aidan woke up, said he didn't want diapers anymore, and potty trained himself in a few days.

Now that sweet Zoe is also 2.5, we are not about to repeat the incident of laundering poop. However, she really wants to wear underpants. She wants to wear them over her pants, preferably. She also likes to take off her diaper and sit on the porcelain throne, for a very looooonnnnnnggggg time. So much so, that her teacher at day care suggests that we potty train her. With the upcoming move and all, our thinking is "why add one more thing?" On the other hand, watching her sit for an eternity on the potty is grossly inefficient.

Therefore, two weekends ago, we tried for a few hours. She then marched up to her room, brought a diaper to me, and requested, very earnestly, that I put it on her. (I don't blame her at all, how un-fun is life when all your mother wants to do is take you to the potty? When all she talks about is "Do you want to go pee pee?" When she warns about not peeing on the couch for the ten millionth time.) We then thought perhaps potty training was a long ways off.

On Saturday morning, at 6:55 am, Zoe screamed from her room, "MOMMMMAAAA!!! PEEEEEE!!! POOO!!!!!" I rushed to her room, tried to hush her, "Aidan is sleeping! Be quiet. Let me change you." She pushed past me, marched to the potty, unzipped her sleeper, climbed on the potty, and pooped. For the first time.

Wow. Perhaps my stockpiles of diapers will have to get returned to Costco, and soon, we will be diaper free! =)

Switching

If I learned anything in residency, it would be this: Patients will tell you all the reasons they didn't like their former doctors, but you must stay neutral.

It is true, one person's horrible doctor is the next person's best doctor, ever.

However, the longer I am in practice, the more I hear about various providers in the community, and let's be frank, it is hard to stay neutral.

The other day, I had this couple tell me that their former therapist told the wife to go to the Tenderloin district in SF, find three black guys to scare her husband when 'he is out of line.' What does that mean?!

Today, I met a patient whose doctor is on vacation, and they are seeking a second opinion. They told me that they are concerned about this other doctor, because, well, "He seems so confused." (Please God, when dementia sets in, please give me enough insight to quit.)

I wonder what people are saying about me.

Inevitably, I can't be the right doctor to all kinds of people. Some people will simply find my kind of practice not suitable for them. I have had patients that leave- there was that person who convinced me that he REALLY needed Provigil to battle his depression, I wrote him a script, and he never came back. (I think he moved on to get more stimulants from other providers.) Or the person who thought my advice for him to get clean and stay clean was absolutely heretic. (Probably went on to find a doctor who would renew his medical Mary Jane card.) Of course, I have also 'counseled' patients out- once I realize I am simply not able to help these folks, usually because they need more intensive work than I can offer.

So I wonder, what are these people saying?

Packing

Lord willing, our escrow should close in about 10 days.

Lord willing, we should be able to move in 18 days.

Lord willing.

As we are packing, I can't help but feel like we are making it very easy for someone to come and take our stuff. Things are 'neatly' packed in boxes, labeled clearly, and well, stacked in the garage, ready for a van to whisk them away. Ideal for thieves, wouldn't you say? Therefore, I am paranoid about opening my garage door these days...

They might be disappointed to find that our treasures are simply really old stuff. For instance, our blue laundry basket was purchased the second day of my college career, at the lovely Target in La Verne, California! Truly remarkable that this piece of plastic has made it through at least 2 loads/week x 52 weeks x 15 years= 1560 loads of laundry!

I also have all my glassware from our college days, wine glasses from some fancy dinner, big lager mugs from The Madrigal Feast, champagne glasses from Senior Brunch. Good times, good times. Why am I hanging on to them? I am not entirely sure. It is not like we have a set of 8, and it is also super unlikely that the President of the College would ever dine with us. Still, I am ready to relive the memories of Senior Brunch. =) This would be a good story for another time.

It is tedious, of course, to box things up. As much as Hubby and I are a team, boxing-things-up falls in my domain, except for his photography equipment. This is for several reasons, but mainly, I am faster at it and the poor guy always has more work to do elsewhere.

So I am packin'. And I am bored. So I make pasta from scratch. If only I can grow my own wheat. Perhaps the next house should be in Illinois. Anyway, a fun project and definitely very tasty.



p.s. Of course, the meat sauce is from scratch, except I did not grow my onions, carrots, tomatoes, or celery. I also did not grow my own pig and cow. Maybe another life.

Career Issues...

I really like my job. But is there something better out there? That is always the question.

Since my residency graduation, I have worked at a hospital, worked for a county health agency, and for myself. Of these three, I think I really like working for myself the most. I like the autonomy, the flexibility, and the wide range of patients I work with.
Second on the list was my job with the hospital- I loved the people there. The nurses, the other doctors, and did I mention, the lounge. It was a magical place- always stocked with drinks, breakfast, and lunch! Newspapers too! And a HUGE TV. Lots of computers to do work, and phones to dictate. I also loved the compensation I got from the hospital for being on call. Basically, I got paid for using the lounge! (Although, my hospital admitting privileges required a fee, and I believe that fee paid for the lounge.)

Unfortunately, my least favorite job was working for the county health agency. My colleagues were awesome, the patients were challenging, however, the system made it hideous. I despised the fact that there were grievances against me for practicing sound medicine- because I didn't ask how high when the patient told me to jump. I found the powers-at-be yielded too much power...

It is a blessing, really, that I have had these opportunities, and well, new opportunities present themselves to me frequently! Thanks to my awesome colleagues from the past, I am now having to figure out, "Is this what I really want? Or should I seriously consider a new opportunity?" Hubby says that he doesn't know anyone else who starts a job and wonders what the next job should be. (I really have only been in mu current job for six months...)

It is tricky, to consider this in light of the needs of A&Z, and Hubby. After all, we are in escrow for a house, does it make sense to change now? Probably not, but I like to keep my options open.

Who Has Time?

There is always so much going on with Aidan's class. We like his teacher, she is down to earth, no fuss, kind of teacher. Her curriculum seems so fun- for instance, they had a Teddy Bear Picnic yesterday, as the kids learned about various species of bears. However, all this requires quite a bit of parent involvement. I go to his class to volunteer once a week- it is not entirely clear if I am of any help, as Aidan is rather clingy when I am there. On the other hand, I have been indoctrinated in the use of the Ellison Machine- it is so cool, I want one for myself!

Today, the kids had a field trip to the local library- because state law now requires adults to be finger printed if they would ever be alone with a minor, other than their own kids, and the hassle of all that, the field trip was a walking trip. There were 10 adults for 22 kids, plus the teacher.

There will be a Fall Festival in a few weeks, again, requiring adults to assist.

When are parents suppose to get their work done?!

Of course, for us, we are trying to pack up the house. All members of the household also need haircuts. These two events are of equal difficulty, in my mind...

Of course, this mother's work load is not helped since she is busy blogging. Gotta go do something, something, what should it be, laundry, cleaning, returning phone calls...

Resurrected...

No, this isn't a post about the Ultimate Resurrection. But a miracle nonetheless.

Offer #5, the offer that we were most excited about, was made about 2 weeks ago. When I saw the house with my little sister, who happened to be visiting us, I really thought loved it, even though we were in process of writing another offer (which ended up being offer #6.) Hubby and I actually went back that same afternoon and looked at it again. We loved it so much, that we made an offer in the asking price, that evening. I know, I know, we were utilizing the method of "Here is $5, no? Ok." It was not working so well for us. For this house, we switched our strategy.

Anyway, we thought it was a shoo in. But no. We got beat out in the last minute by a pregnant couple. (Yes, I spent the last two weeks speculating which pregnant woman made the offer.) When we heard the news, I cried. I cried, and cried, and cried some more.

Then we went to bed. And moved on. Then we made offer #6, and that didn't work out. We had made house viewing appointments with our agent to see about offer #7, and possibly a remake of offer #3.

Our agent called last night after texting us a message of, "I have news. It is not about offer #6." We were shocked to find out the pregnant couple had backed out during escrow. We could not be more excited.

Now, we are waiting for the sellers to actually sign our offer, and well, start begging for money from various banks. Pack. Run around like chickens, and move.

It is a miracle, because we were so sure it was over. Just like the disciples. While not as good of news as the Ultimate Resurrection when Christ paid for my sins, but still, pretty awesome!



By the way, offer #1 closed a few weeks ago. Offer #2 and #4 (the same house, the one that we backed out...) is still for sale. Offer #3 is still for sale- it is the most gorgeous house I have ever seen. Offer 6 is still for sale too. This market is crazy.

Rigged

Offer six was not accepted. We offered, they countered, we countered the counter. And well, that was it.

We think the whole system is rigged. Agents want to buy/sell ASAP, and mortgage broker also wants to close the deal. They are incentivized when the deal closes, not when we have the best deal. We can also see why all those people got into so much financial trouble. While we would like to think that we exercise good insight about money, we are still swayed to offer more than we should.

Where is offer #7 going to go?

Friends and family have been so encouraging- we know a family that looked at over 100 homes before they bought 'the one.' I don't know if I have the fortitude, strength, energy, time, endurance, to do this for much longer. We might never move...

Rained Out!

We were so disappointed. The Opening Day ceremony for AYSO in our town got thundered/lighteninged/rained out!

Hubby and I had gotten up at the crack of dawn, sort of got dressed, and made jelly sandwiches for breakfast, then Aidan was up, then Zoe got up. We couldn't find his matching socks for this season and convinced him to wear those old ones from last year, and made it to the field at 7:30. It was great fun catching up with friends, and then, shortly after the ceremony began, lightening struck. The whole day of activities got canceled! We sat in the car for about 20 minutes just to leave the area, and felt the day was woefully ruined!

Then we found out that Zoe's school picnic was canceled due to rain.

For the record, it didn't rain that hard. What is going on with these Californians? It is just a little bit of rain! (Not that I was looking forward to a picnic in the rain, but you know, these kids should get toughened up!) But I guess being struck by lightening would have really sucked...

After a long nap, I offered Hubby a few hours of peace and quiet for him to do some work and took the children for frozen yogurt and an errand. Sadly, these kids are so ENTITLED. After Aidan ate his cup of goodness, he looked sullen, that he simply wanted more. I felt so disappointed. This wasn't the first time he expressed negativity after a treat, and we had already discussed the appropriate attitude and behavior. Namely, thankfulness and showing of appreciation. But no, those weren't in the cards today.

It went further south while we went to the framing shop to get all my important documents framed- board certification (it came today!), diploma, licensure, blah, blah, blah. The kids were not a good reflection of a psychiatrist's offspring, and let's leave it at that.

By the time we got home, I was FUMING. The children were then appropriately disciplined, and Hubby took them out for a long talk. Apparently, Aidan finds a fuming mother very scary- well, that was the point.

When they came home, with flowers (my husband is brilliant), they were appropriately remorseful, and I was ready to forgive them.

What a day.

Thankfully, when they are cute, they are so cute.

ER

Last week, while filling out Aidan's reading log for school, it was clear: Our children don't read enough, enough variety at least. And probably, not enough in time either. We went to the library and got some awesome books. Stuff like SpongeBob and the UFO, SpongeBob and Birthday Party. Truly quality reading. As we were checking out, I saw DVDs of ER. Had to get at least one season, obviously! ER, was what dreams were made of when I was an undergrad.

We would gather at 10 pm every Thursday night, after InterVarsity fellowship meetings, and watch. If there was an organic chemistry review session, Dr. R adjourned the review sessions so that we could all go home to watch ER. It was awesome.

It is STILL awesome! I love it! Of course, now I realize it is totally ridiculous. For instance, physicians do not just give verbal orders at bedside. No nurse would take it! One has to go to the computer, enter in all those orders by selecting from the options available, click enter, and wait. If someone was bleeding all over the place, sure, certain things were done immediately. Then, the physician would walk over to the computer, enter in those orders, yup, just to reconcile records.

However, who can resist the boyish charms of Dr. Carter and Dr. Greene? The grumpy Dr. Benton? The Know-it-all Dr. Weaver? Love it.

It is also a good escape from our ever extending house hunting process? There was that PERFECT house last week- we didn't get it. The market has very few houses. In our town, there are currently 21 listings. That's it, people! Stop hoarding your properties, and let's get it on the market!!!

Meanwhile, Aidan is learning how to read, doing more work sheets than most humans should be doing (long story...), Zoe is speaking a lot more, and Hubby is being as cute as ever. And I am off to bed.

Stuff

I am neglecting this blog. Life's priorities are like this:
1. Try to get children fed.
2. Try to get the adults fed.
3. Keep people clean.
4. Remember that Jesus already died for all my short comings.
5. Try to not yell.
6. Get to work.
7. Sleep.
8. Remember that Jesus already paid for my sins.
See, the blog isn't on the priority list.

Kindergarten is HARD! Hard for me!!! We are still trying to find our routine- when will it ever come!? Aidan is learning to cope with homework better these days, and I am sad to admit that he has a lot. Between school homework, Kumon (he is suppose to do 2 sets of worksheets EVERYDAY... I can't do that myself, how can I make him do it?), and soon, Chinese school homework. This Mommy can't deal. He is also suppose to keep a reading log. As I wrote out the one for August, I realized how repetitive our reading is, which means this Mommy will be taking these cute kids to the library, something else that is NOT on the priority list. I can't believe Aidan has 12 more years of schooling that I will be held responsible for.

Zoe switched schools this week. So far, she is doing well, as well as can be expected. A little tearful in the morning but stops after about a minute and goes through her day. She is becoming more verbal, and her personality is showing more and more. For instance, she LOVES to fly high and go the sky when she is on the swing. Who would have thought?! She is the more timid of the two, yet she sure is blossoming. I also think she has the most perfect haircut in the entire world! It frames her face so nicely without any effort from this Mommy. I need to find where her stylist works for adults and schedule a time. =)

We have made offer #5, and now, we are just waiting. Waiting, and waiting. I had started to pack up the house when offer #4 was ratified and before we dropped out of contract (about day #14). Thus, the bookshelves in the living room are half packed. The garage is a disaster. Will we even move this year? Beats me.

Sob Letter

So we are getting back on the saddle in our search of a house. The search is becoming more focused, and I think, more realistic. Clearly, offering people $5 to buy their home is not working out so well.

I am trying a new plan: Sob letters. You think this could do the trick?

Ms. Home Owner,

How are you?

We are so excited to see ### XYZ Street come on to the market, as it is exactly the kind of house that our family can call home. When we toured the home, we were excited about all the memories that we could build there. From growing carrots and pumpkins in the vegetable garden, playing soccer on the lawn, using the attic for hide-and-seek, having friends over, walking to downtown, to eating breakfasts in the nook. Essentially, the house is a fantastic match for our growing family.

As we review the disclosures, we are delighted to discover this home has stayed in your family for all those years- and that will be our plan as well. What a legacy to leave this beautiful home to our children!

We are making our best offer, and hopefully, you will accept it and share with us your memories of this home.

Sincerely,
A&Z's Parents

Gut Feelings

It is official. Hubby and I signed the documents to terminate our contract on that house. It was exciting while it lasted, for 14 days.

In the end, neither of us REALLY wanted the house. I keep asking people we know who had bought homes, "How did you know it was the right house?" People essentially said, "We just knew, and we really wanted it." Well, for us, neither of us really wanted it, and while it was "good enough", for so much money, we think we can do better.

Of the three places Hubby and I have lived in since we got married, we really only chose our first residence. We had been married for about 1 month, (and lived with my very, very, sweet roommate from med school for that month), and needed to find a place to live in New York City. Back in 2000, with the dot come boom, it was maddening to find a place. We had to through realtors for rentals, and pay them a fee of 12% of the annual rent, up front. Yikes! I, made no money. Hubby, made some money, but had wanted to use some money to go to business school. We picked a neighborhood based on my best friend's recommendation- she works in historical preservation, and knows New York City like a tour guide. We saw three places in Brooklyn Heights, the first one was a dump. The door had at least ten locks on it, and the floor was totally slanted. The second place was beautiful, but a little out of our price range. We then switched realtors.

The third place, was love at first sight. While it was a railway apartment (you had to walk through the bedroom to get to either end of the apartment) and the bedroom was just big enough for a bed, we loved the building. We loved the landlord- he had inherited the building, and lived in it, took great pride in preserving it, and told us all about the copper ceiling (or something like that). His uncle also lived in the building and essentially, was our door man. We saw it, we both loved it and lived in it, happily, for 2 years.

We want that feeling again. The house won't be picture perfect, but we will know that OUR house will be perfect for us. I just think that the perfect house for us was already sold in April of this year- I had seen the house with Aidan, and I just loved it. But we weren't ready, and so, that must not be THE house.

The Drama

Do you ever wonder if your therapist is always paying attention and listening to every word? Do you ever wonder why your therapist asks you certain questions? Do you catch her yawning?

Well, I will admit this. If you're a patient of mine, you might not want to book the appointments between 1 and 3. I get SO tired by then. I try to listen to every word, but you know, sometimes, I get distracted by that nice looking couch you are sitting on, and I just want to put my face down on the cushion that you're using to support your back, and close my eyes. Just for a few minutes.

The other day, I ushered out my 1 pm person promptly at 1:50. I put my head down, and woke up precisely at 2 pm. Hubby thinks that is pure magic.

I actually know this well known psychopharmacologist who actually FELL asleep one time during session. His patient had to wake him up! So perhaps yawning isn't so bad.

I also find that my patients follow certain trends. For instance, for a while, I got a bunch of patients with R names. Then, there was a wave of depressed, middle aged women. Or a wave of young adult males who have legal problems. Lately though, there is a trend of women talking about, umm, anal sex. It is really weird, but all of the sudden, this subject is coming up A LOT. I will have to leave this at that.

With all the drama I hear about, I am thankful, that my life is pretty vanilla. Still, these days, there is all this stuff about the house that is in contract, stuff about drainage problems, negotiating with the sellers...etc. Then I wonder, what if this isn't the right house for us after all? I should go find a therapist's couch, not for naps, but for processing...

The Reasons We Are Moving

Hubby would love to live exactly where we live, until the end of time. While I could always use more space, I do like where we live. However, we have two reasons to move.

Here they are.

These kids take up a lot of space. And they get into Hubby's very delicate camera stuff- he now has a cracked lens, we don't know who the culprit(s) is/are, but I have my suspicions.

Last week, in a rare stroke of genius, I sent them outside to eat their bagels before I took them to school. It was brilliant. The kitchen area was then quiet for me to finish up all-the-crap-that-moms-do, and Hubby could finish up all-the-crap-that dads-do. Best of all, the house remained crumb free.

Aidan was happy to read his Lego magazine. Zoe was listening to the faint sirens from far away. It was a great way to start the day.

They are so cute. But boy, they create a lot of work...

Wife Wanted

Seeking a gracious and patient wife. Preferably non smoking. Must be forgiving and detail oriented. Helpful if not-too-old as this job requires high energy. Trilingual abilities in toddlerese, Mandarin, and English are essential.

There are a few big projects underway and help is desperately needed for the following:

1. Two energetic and delightful children are in process of transitioning into new schools. The five year-old is doing well, although his attitude regarding homework is sketchy at best. He also insists that he can read chapter books, and reality check will need to be done rather gently. The two year-old will be transitioning to her new school in about two weeks. Her routine is currently without consistency and that needs to be changed also.

2. A loving husband is working entirely too hard. Abilities to manage software projects would be useful to ease his burden. Must be willing to assist in photography business, preferably be trained in photographer skills, whatever these may be.

3. There is already a wife, however, she also needs help. She is not particularly gracious or patient. Also not all that forgiving. However, she is detail oriented. Assistance in schedule maintenance for her work is necessary. Her bedtime routine needs to be updated. She has become a very light sleeper and causing havoc for the operation. Sleep training is a must.

4. Expertise in building maintenance would be helpful, to figure out what 'needs' to get done, what 'would be nice' to get done, and to find financing for such work.

5. Nutritious meals are needed thrice a day, and at least for six days a week. Meal planning is a must, preferably using inexpensive, organic ingredients. It would also be necessary to have simple instructions and not-time-consuming. Ideally, meals should appear on the table within twenty minutes without needing to shop for groceries, while supervising children with various art projects.

6. Organization skills are required. All the closets, garage, and everything else in between, need to be packed away in order of necessity, boxed, labeled appropriately, Various items need to stay available for the next few months and should be quickly accessible.

These are just the needs at this time, as time goes on and as we evaluate your specific abilities, you will be given more responsibilities. The position is permanent, and will come with health benefits, although no vacation will be granted. And absolutely no sick days will be allowed. The compensation will mainly be deferred, thus, a great job at the present time would insure pay back in about 30 years.

Dear Mrs. S

Dear Mrs. S,

Thank you for being Aidan's kindergarten teacher! He is really enjoying your class, and hopefully, you're enjoying his presence too!

While it is super exciting to have a child in elementary school, it has been quite an adjustment for us, for the following reasons.

1. We need to get to school on time. I think there are two types of parents. The type of parents who are majorly stressed about getting their brood to school on time, and the type who try but aren't really bothered if they run late. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I fall in the first camp. That means, I am nearly hysterical if I even think we are going to be late. I much prefer to get to school ten minutes before you get the class and let Aidan run around a bit. I am not sure if the stress is a good thing for Aidan- whether it will help him to get to places on time as an adult, or make him scorn all those who strive to be on time.

2. Sometimes, I am not sure where my tax dollars go. It is simply shameful that the school has to do so much fund raising, or else the children won't have music lessons, books, or teachers! I also cannot believe that we have to supply printer papers, soap, and other supplies. Good grief. When I attended an American elementary school a very long time ago, we had all the papers we wanted! All the kleenex we needed! (At the time, I thought it was weird that American schools came with all this supplies, but I guess I had gotten spoiled.) Seriously, I cannot believe how much we have to give (it is paying another tax) to just be sure Aidan can wipe his hands.

3. Then, I wonder, perhaps the school should just levy a tax so that all these parents won't have to rush to Staples to buy the same stuff. However, when I was at Staples today, buying ten hand soap dispensers, I was shocked to see that the price was $3.99 EACH. I had signed up for ten of those for his class room. I was NOT about to pay $40 (plus tax!) to buy soap. I lugged Zoe next door to Target and bought them for $1 each. It was then super clear, that if the school did collect money for these items, parents will wonder, where is this money going? Why is it so expensive? Then it dawned on me. This was a simplified version of Obamacare. His plan of taxing people to buy healthcare for everyone, would probably mean that we no longer had a choice of what kind of soap, what kind of physicians, what kind of care we can determine for ourselves and inevitably, it will be much more expensive than if I had a choice in what to do about my care. Frankly, I like picking out stuff for myself! The government has no business running healthcare, when it can barely hold itself accountable to stay in its budget. But alas I digress...

4. Homework is HARD for me. I am so sorry that we slacked off on the first assignment. I swear, Aidan did not say that he needed to color things in. He said the most important thing to put on the paper is to write his name. So he did. I promise, I will MAKE him tell me what needs to be done, and darn it, I am going to stay on top of this! Even if it kills me.

Well, we will have to check in later about the progress of his acquisition of basic skills. I hope you will like us...

Cheers,
A's Mom

Possibly the Best Birthday Present Ever

Hubby and I have been doing some crazy stuff, like buying a house. This crazy stuff started two years ago, shortly after Zoe was born. Actually, let's be honest, it started after Aidan was born. Every time the baby cried, whichever baby, I would mutter, "We need to move!" I somehow developed this delusion that baby rearing would be easier with a bigger house. While possible, probably not likely.

After Aidan was sleep trained, the thought about moving dwindled. Then, Zoe came along. That again, fueled the desire for more space, and possibly, less noise from my bass loving neighbors. I randomly called up a realtor office on a Friday afternoon when clinic was incredibly slow. I got in touch with Sia, we talked, made an appointment. We met, we talked, I saw a couple of houses with her. She referred me to Lynn, a 'debt manager'. I met with Lynn, she looked through our financial papers, and we talked. Then Hubby and I decided that this was just not meant to be.

Then, the financial world went up in flames, and the US government decided to print new money. Hubby and I speculated that inflation will inevitably arrive, and we gotta get more debt for ourselves. To pay off with inflated greenbacks later.

I called Sia and Lynn earlier this year, much earlier this year. We talked. Hubby and I met with Sia and Lynn. I got banned from talking to Lynn (because I would say crazy things that made it all very confusing...) I started stalking various houses, checking Redfin obsessively everyday, met with Sia to tour homes. Then, we started making offers to actually buy a house.

On my birthday, yesterday, I woke up to delightful children, we ate French toast, we packed up the kids to go to the zoo, and just as we were about to leave, Sia came with the papers. We signed offer #4, which really was a remake of offer #3. You see, offer #3 was so low that the sellers didn't talk to us. We signed the papers, then went to the zoo. While I was at a birthday party with Aidan (not my party, but a sweet little girl's party), we heard that they accepted our offer. Shocking, really.

We went back to see the house today. Hubby and I are very happy with it. Aidan is thrilled that the house has an apple tree, a grapefruit tree, and blackberry bushes! Zoe is ecstatic with the swing. Sia came by earlier this evening to go through various disclosures with us, and wow. God really provided for us.

Apparently, after our offer was ratified, another offer came in. Then, two more agents wanted to make offers today. Yikes! Good thing our offer was ratified before it went into a bidding war, something that Hubby and I do not participate in, and really, cannot afford to do.

In retrospect, it was God's providence that I found Sia, so that we worked with Lynn, and that Sia led us to this house.

So, we are looking to close mid September, assuming Hubby and I actually manage to convince a bank to loan us money and come up with the down payment! Then it will be a mad race pack up our stuff and move.

Like I said, best birthday present, ever.

Laboring Pains

Dear Ms. L,

In 3 weeks, we will be delivering our little girl to your care. It will be a huge change for us, for her. Our little girl has not known a school day without big brother Aidan ever since she was born. Attending our current school has been a huge part of her life. As much as we love the facility that we have become so familiar with, we do not love the commute at all. Fighting all those commuters along 101 twice a day has caused this mother many screaming yelps. Let's not get this mother started on the ridiculousness of 'metering'- oh yeah, let's make all the cars STOP and then have to accelerate SUPER QUICKLY to catch up with the flow. That, my dear politicians, would not be green.

Alas I digress.

Our sweet Zoe is persistent- she lets you know what she wants. And she will repeat herself A LOT to be sure you understand. If you ever make mac n cheese and she gets wind of it, she will stand next to the stove and say, "Chee, chee, chee, chee, chee..." for the entire time your mac need to boil. If she requests for milk, and it takes you longer than a second to serve her, she will sit there and say, "Mil, Mil, Mil, Mil..." I suppose you get my drift.

She is gentle- whenever Aidan gets injured, she will give him hugs and kisses. When she sees other children crying, she wants to comfort them. When she sees this mother lose it, she makes her eyes incredibly round, as if to say, "Lady, you need to open your eyes and see what is important. Nobody will care about how much I complained as a toddler when I am off to college. You will miss me."

She is playful- she knows to hide, very quietly while holding very still, until you get close, then she will pull off the blanket and laugh hysterically. She likes to pretend she is a baby and asks for a binky. She loves to carry a huge purse full of c.r.a.p, I mean, treasures.

She is hilarious- she knows she is funny, and she is certain that she can convince us to keep on playing despite how tired she is.

She is Zoe. As much as we try to convince her to say her name, she never refers herself as Zoe, but will proudly say our last name, as if she is already a grown up, demanding more respect.

We are excited to see how she will grow, through potty training, making friends, verbalizing her feelings and needs, and working through the complexity of toddlerhood. This will be a great year.

Cheers,

Zoe's Mom

Ready to Fly the Coup

My Dearest Aidan,

It is simply astounding to see you graduate from preschool this evening. I know, it is weird that you started kindergarten already then you graduated from preschool.

I remember when you started school. It was a very hot September day. I was due back at work after extending my maternity because I couldn't bear to not be with you, and also because your mother, had procrastinated SO much during gestation, that there simply was no place to take you. Nonetheless, God, the faithful one, provided, even when Mommy and Daddy dropped the ball. We packed your bags, of diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, peas, bottles, blankets, Mr. Hippo, emergency supplies (in case you had to be away from us due to natural disasters or something.) You were great, and I sobbed as I drove away. Teacher Melissa had e mailed me this picture from lunch that day, knowing how much I missed you.


We adjusted. You adjusted. You learned to drink from a bottle, to take naps with other children, to feed yourself, to gain lots of words, to control of your sphincters, to be a big brother, and most of all, to become more self sufficient day by day. I also learned a lot, to limit my frustrated screaming to inside our trusty Volvo, on my way to work after taking you to school, so that no one else had to listen. I also learned to let you make your mistakes, and to give you the space you need, day by day.

We were so blessed to have this preschool for you for the last five years (I am a little frightened to think of how much tuition- post tax dollars, that we paid for these very patient teachers to lovingly take care of you.) It was money well spent.


As you embark on your elementary education, we are excited for you. That you will learn how to read and write (perhaps in Chinese too), to master basic math, to make new friends, and of course, to become even more self sufficient day by day. We are so proud of you, Aidan.

Much love,

Mommy