Thursday, October 18, 2007
So Soon!
Zoe mastered crawling a few weeks ago...
And now, she is ready to PULL herself UP. Not just ready, she did pull herself up. When I went to pick her up today, the teachers had taken a picture of her, and she had pulled herself up, on a bar, like she was ready for first position in ballet class at the barre. This girl is all about getting going, as if she is ready to flee the nest! Her teachers thought she would be walking by Christmas. I am definitely NOT ready for her to be that mobile. But I suppose the day has to come, some day.
Just as I am typing this, it occurred to me, that I 'missed' the first time she pulled up. Oh well. It is a lie: that a woman can have it all, to be a mom, to have a career, to have fun. That is not true. You win some, and you lose some. In my opinion, any person can achieve these goals, some times, just all not all at the same time. Somewhat of a depressing thought... While I am sad I didn't get to see Zoe pull up for the very first time, I think she will pull up a lot, so, moving on...
Monday, October 15, 2007
More Kids?
Isn't this the eternal debate: how many children will be enough.
When Hubby and I were dating, he said he wanted just one child. I said I wanted two. And we decided that my kids will beat up his kid. Then we stopped joking, because we realized that we might actually have kids together...
And I think I convinced Hubby that he really wants two children: so that when they are teenagers, or when we are old and demented, the two kids will have each other for support, and to say, "Can you believe what Mom and Dad did?!"
After Aidan came, it was obvious that Hubby would want lots and lots of kids: he just is a great father and would love to run around with kids all day long. It was also obvious that if we have more than two kids, I would be dead.
Yesterday, while I was chatting with some moms at church, one of them asked me how I am so certain that we are done with two- I mean, we named our kids A&Z: we are FINISHED.
I said it boiled down to this:
1. I love the 1:1 interactions with people- I want to have time for Hubby, Aidan and Zoe, and with more kids, that just doesn't seem doable.
2. We want to travel with our kids, and with more than two, when children outnumber parents, it would just be quite tricky. It also becomes prohibitively expensive, not that traveling to Australia would be cheap with two kids...
3. I want some order in our house.
4. The biggest reason: Hubby and I want to retire before we are too old and crusty to enjoy retirement. We really want to retire by 50? 55? And to put all the kids through college before that, we need to stop having more kids.
Then I talked to Hubby about what he wanted. He said, the father part of him would love to have more kids, and if we were to have more, three wouldn't be right, and he would want FOUR. FOUR!!!!! Fortunately for me, his hubby side of him, knows that with more kids, we would definitely need a bigger house very soon, and we would both need to work more, and essentially, I would die. And therefore, two will be just right for us. Now, having said all this on-line, we will really have to be extra diligent to not have a 'surprise' baby...
AGAIN!
After Zoe's 6 month check up, it is now official: Zoe is ready to NOT eat at night anymore, and that means, it is time for more sleep training. Just two months ago, Hubby, Aidan, and I endured about 3 weeks of screaming, several hours at a time, to get rid of one of the two nighttime feedings. Lately, Zoe wakes up anywhere between 1 am-4 am for some nibbling. Actually, last night, she woke up at 12:15, and I deemed that too early for a feeding, and let her complain for a while, until 1:30 when I finally gave in. I debated if I was just teaching her to cry until someone responds...
The plan is this: I will feed her for less and less time each night, until NONE! She usually eats for about 9 minutes total. And last night, I gave her 7 minutes. It actually was quite hectic, since we needed to switch sides in between these 7 minutes, and 3.5 minutes just wasn't a whole lot of time. She complained a little, but gave up shortly. I will keep her on 7 minutes for a few nights, then 6, then, just one side, and less and less time, until. Gone.
It will be so amazing to sleep through the night.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Lameness!
The latest hoopla about babies and toddlers and the stuff they use- no more decongestants or antihistamines?! Apparently, kids have died from 'overdose.' FDA is advising against usage in children under 2, but some speculate that they really need to advise the ban for children under 6. That is great and all. I just have one question:
What am I suppose to use when Aidan and Zoe are so congested, coughing ALL night long, that they can't sleep, and they are just crying and crying and crying? And when I say, when, I actually mean now.
We just started with cold #1 this year. Zoe is suppose to get up to 8 colds this year, according to the pediatrician. Yikes. Aidan hasn't had a cold in a long while, and I suppose he is due. We will see how many sick days Hubby and I use up this winter.
Back to the original topic: how do we care for our sick babies.
We slant the crib, they get VaporRub, a humidifier, lots of water, and some Tylenol/Ibuprofen if they have a fever. Where does these treatment get us? Not very far. I want symptom relief NOW! Any ideas?
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
The Inner Clock
We all have an inner clock, our circadian rhythm, set by a complicated pathway in the hypothalamus, specifically, the suprachiasmatic nucleus. The eyes are involved in this, by taking in day light, and its wide ranging effects are communicated through neural pathways and hormones. These pathways dictate our waking/sleeping, eating, and eliminating patterns.Aidan's inner clock, is specially designed to make me late.
On Tuesday, I go to school at 3:45. I have Zoe by 4. We leave the school at 4:20. We park at 4:40. Perfect. However, as we walk into the pool building, Aidan says, "Mommy, I need to poop." Since I am trying to not raise an 'anal retentitive' child, I take him to the bathroom. He hops on the porcelain throne, then we wait. I look at my watch, look at Zoe, look at Aidan, and we wait. 10 minutes later, Aidan announces that he is finally done. Each swim lesson costs $22 for 1/2 hour, and his bowel movement costs me $7.30.
Today, Zoe has a well baby visit at 9:15. I figure if we leave th house promptly at 9, we will make it just on time. At 8:45, I tell him it is time to wrap it up. At 8:55, I tell him to get socks/shoes on while I wake Zoe up from her cat nap. I walk back downstairs at 8:57, with Zoe in my arms, to find Aidan, again, is on the porcelain throne! GOOD GRIEF. On the way to being late, I explain to Aidan the following, "Mommy is usually fairly patient. However, Mommy does NOT like being late, AT ALL. It is important to be on time. Being late, makes Mommy really cranky."
We finally make it to the doctor's office at 9:24... I don't know why I want to be on time for a doctor's appointment- the office is invariably late... I try really hard to be on time for my patients, and I think I do pretty well, most of the time. The only reason, is that psychiatrists interpret lateness: if you care enough, you will be on time. Being late is being avoidant/passive aggressive...etc. Or I suppose in Aidan's case, his biological clock really just wants to poop on his next appointment- that is just how much he cares.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Another Xangan!
Check him out, Phat Photographer
Saturday, October 06, 2007
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Is it any different?
While I was posting the previous exchange between Aidan and me, I realized this, that I say the same thing at work and at home.
"Crying/yelling does not get you what you want. Yelling/crying/being rude to me/the staff will NOT get you what you want. I can't talk to you while you are yelling/crying/being rude."
Last week, a patient found his care at the clinic utterly unacceptable and threatened to go to a local university hospital psychiatric clinic. This patient had previously been banned from another regional clinic... To this situation, I said, "That is your right. Go right ahead." Deep down though, I know, that the local university hospital would never take him as a patient- he doesn't have the 'right' insurance... And he will forever, be my patient, unless I quit/retire/die, in that order. -
What is Worth Crying for?
When Aidan got up from his nap today, he wanted to eat the jello we had made in the morning.
Me: Aidan, Jello doesn't have any calories in it, you will still be hungry...
A: WAH. wah, wah, whining, whining, whining...
Me: Aidan, calm down. What about some pop corn, very yummy, lots of fiber, fills you up.
A: WAH. wah, wah, whining, whining, whining...
Me: Honey, you need to calm down.
A: WAH. wah, wah, whining, whining, whining...
Me: That is it. You need to stop, you can stop here or in time out.
Aidan got timed out.
Afterwards,
Me: Honey, a snack is not worth crying for. You just need to ask. And remember, when you cry, you are less likely to get whatever it is that you want.
A: still sniffling.
Me: You know, Aidan, let's talk about what is worth crying for.
(Hubby is giving me a funny look.)
Me: (thinking, hmm, mommy or daddy dying would be worth crying for, getting lost would be worth crying for, but I don't really want to scare him like this...) Honey, missing Jesus SO MUCH is worth crying for...
Hubby: Seriously...
Friday, October 05, 2007
Wikipedia
I am learning so much from Wikipedia. I read about Yo Yo Ma- did you know he played for the Kennedys when he was about 6 years old?!I am also becoming addicted to Nip/Tuck, the drama from FX Network. We are watching this on DVD, and let's just say that it is taking all my restraint to not watch it all night long. We are in the midst of Season 3, and for those who have seen this, The Carver, has been making a mess of Drs. Troy and McNamara. Curious to know who is The Carver (yes, yes, I read the last pages of a mystery novel first...) I google the search, "Nip Tuck Carver Identity" and pop! The Carver has a page on Wikipedia!!!
What does this say about our culture?
That someone has time to update a page about The Carver?!
Or that someone, is writing about someone writing a page on Wikipedia about The Carver?!
Friday, October 05, 2007
Normal Development?!
This has been a very rough day for Aidan, Hubby, and me. Hubby and I can't decide if this is a normal phase of development, or what.These days, I don't have very much reserves, and I do okay with trying to be patient, making a game of a task, to easing Aidan along, but that really only lasts about five minutes. After that, dude, this child just NEEDS to do what I tell him, and if not, he gets timed out. As for why I don't have very much emotional reserve, let's just say that I feel like work is one giant three year old that follows me around, all day.
Aidan decided to take his sweet old time, and complain during that entire time, when I tried to get him dressed, while Hubby was on a conference call- meaning, it was important to keep quiet. After five minutes of this, I told him, you can dress yourself, Mommy tried, and then you're on your own. He cried, whined, yelled, and he got sent to time out.
This afternoon, when we got home, Aidan did pretty well waiting for me to give Zoe a bottle, and he was very sweet while waiting. Then I got him a piece of gum, and all was swell. When I needed help with Zoe, that I needed Aidan to bring me a dish towel, or to hold Zoe's bottle for a few seconds while I mix her cereal...etc, Aidan just flat out refused, "I am busy!" That was just NOT acceptable. We are a FAMILY, and we do things for each other, whether we feel like it or not! Moreover, for crying out loud, these tasks would take him less than a minute each! I told him that Mommy really needed his help and it was sad that he wouldn't help me. After I finished feeding Zoe, I was helping him to fill up his water can, then he managed to pour water into my SHOES. My nice, dressy, work shoes! I gave him a towel to mop it up, then he knocked over the water can, and there was water EVERYWHERE, and it spread into the closet! I lost it...sadly for him, and for me too.
I told him that I was much too angry to read to him, to play with him...etc. I figured, if I didn't have anything nice to say, probably better to not say anything at all. Thankfully, Hubby came home and helped us to reconcile. He said he was sorry for not helping and spreading water everywhere, and I said I was sorry for yelling.
You would think Aidan would tune up his act real quick...but no.
After bathtime, he and Hubby were brushing teeth together. Aidan then played with the water, which was really annoying. Then he SPAT his toothpaste into Daddy's EYES.
At bedtime, it had been our routine to talk about our favorite part of the day, I had to tell him, "Aidan, it is hard for me to think of a favorite part of the day with you today." I assumed he felt the same way, because his favorite part of the day was when he was at school.
I suppose pushing limits is an age appropriate phase of development- but AHHHHH!!!!!! How long, Lord, will this last?!
Monday, October 01, 2007
- We went to the park.
Aidan and Zoe are now 'playing together'.
And we can't decide if this is cute, or is it porn...
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People I really want to meet...
Hubby and I were talking about people we would like to meet, people we want to have community with...etc. And I am coming up with my dream list.
Peggy Noonan- she is a conservative political columnist, for the Wall Street Journal. She was also a consultant to The West Wing. I thoroughly enjoy her column every Saturday- she is just so smart and observant.
Laura Landro- she used to write a lot for the Wall Street Journal, on the subject of hotels, fashion, and some health related issues...then she went away...I don't know why. She recently wrote about how she 'stole' something from K-Mart. I want to discuss fashion and experience navigating the health care system as a cancer survivor.
Jonathan Clements- another WSJ writer. He writes about investments- when everyone was viewing real estate was a great investment, he was insistent that money can be better invested elsewhere, for most Americans. I want him to review our finances!
The writer of, http://www.theunderweardrawer.blogspot.com I strangely feel like we have a lot in common- so much of her life is documented on line, and as a voyeur, I can't help it. I imagine it would be WEIRD to actually talk to her, since the relationship is rather stalker like...
Finally, I really want to meet Tim Keller, and perhaps, even more so, his wife Kathy. I want to know her secrets for being a steadfast wife. But I think I know her 'secret'- it is Christ. Enough said. -
B School Saga
As promised from last week, the story of how Hubby ended up in B school.
In fall of 2000, I was rotating at Our Lady of No Mercy for surgery, and Hubby was working on a project in SF, both of us fed up with his traveling and lack of proper newly-wed life, you know what I mean...
He was also feeling dejected from all the rejections earlier that spring/summer. One day in September, while I was riding on the 2 train to get to the hospital, this brilliant thought occurred to me- CBS has an abbreviated MBA program that would start in January! I got on the phone with Hubby that day, and we decided to apply, what the heck, he had all the letters and scores. I stopped by CBS the next day on my way home from the hospital, and picked up an application- those were the days of paper applications! I filled out most of it for Hubby, he wrote his essay in 2 days, and we sent it in. Hubby saw an alumna from CBS for an interview in SF, and received an acceptance a few weeks later.
The experience was so amazing, because neither of us had thought much about the next step- and it really felt like God spoke to me during my hour long commute to the dreary Bronx. Sometimes I feel like that in the grand scheme of things, whether Hubby went to B school or not, really wasn't worth the Holy Spirit to look into, yet He did. And it was awesome.
Hubby loved every minute of B school- the course work was relatively effortless, in comparison to his education at HMC. It was such a treat to him, to leave work behind, and to just focus on things that were interesting to him. I enjoyed having him in school the same time I was in school- we occasionally commuted together- we would both hop on the A train, I got off at 14th Street, and Hubby swapped to the redline at Columbus Circle. Ah, it was awesome. Even when I had call, Hubby would swing by the hospital, eat free/scary food with me, and then go home. It was especially nice, when I did ob/gyn, he would study at school, then meet me around 10 pm or so, it made a long night tolerable. We had something that money couldn't buy- time. And, those were the days without children...
Next time, I will tell the story about how we moved back to CA. -
Resist the Scissors!
It is definitive: Zoe's hair is an absolute disaster. Two weeks ago, I felt she really needed to have her bangs trimmed, they were totally getting into her eyes. It was BAD. Then Hubby tried to even it out, and it was weird. Then I took her to a children hairstylist, and that made it WORSE. The girl has no hair other than a hefty lock on the top of her head, she wore out the hair on the sides and back from sleeping on them. And she just looks really weird, pathetic, and it really was all our fault. Poor girl. For now, we decided to not cut her hair for at least a month or two, maybe by Christmas, there would be some hair to cut, and even it out, and God willing, her Christmas photo will actually look normal.
This morning, Zoe managed to go from being on her tummy, to pushing back into a sitting position. Good grief, this girl is READY to go! She had also made a few psuedo crawl/creeping movements this weekend.
Aidan is trying to figure out the difference between a pharmacy and a farmer. I think we must have explained the differences to him five thousand times, but he keeps asking- maybe he just likes to listen about where food comes from?
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
A Break!
So I am getting totally spoiled by my new schedule- although the past few Wednesday were quite busy. I had dental work done, that took two mornings, and I saw a friend for lunch, then I went with Gaby's mom to Loehmann's in SF.
After taking the children to school, and going back and forth with the code enforcement lady for an inspection of our air conditioning unit, I made lots of food for Zoe. Aidan's teachers all remember how I used to make him homemade organic baby food, and they talked and talked about it. They would tell the other babies that it was some what less fortunate that those babies had to eat from jars. Come to think of it, mommies don't need this guilt trip, but hey, I was getting credit for my hardwork, so I will let it go. I made a trip to Whole Foods in anticipation of this- I got a butternut squash (something that only babies eat in this house, can you imagine, stir-fried butternut squash?!) peaches, carrots, pears, and sweet potatoes. Yum. Now, in our freezer, Zoe has about 60 little cubes that I can just thaw and feed. The supply in our freezer is becoming somewhat frightful- too much of a good thing, Hubby yearns to see the day when it would be empty- I tell him, it is more energy efficient to have it filled.
I also cleaned up my drawer of plastic containers- between Zoe's bottles and stuff, Aidan's lunch containers, and our lunch/leftover containers, that drawer was overwhelming. One day, we won't need all this plastic stuff, when the kids are in college, but I wonder, will I start collecting plastic stuff to pack A&Z food, you know, like a grandma would do after you have dinner at her house.
I dashed to the mall to pick up a jacket for Aidan, and Spanx. The lack of tone in my abdominal area is...well, embarrassing. But I am too tired to go workout, and where would I even find the time? (Okay, okay, so I am writing this on my day off...) but for $24-38, your abs can be pre-baby! Why not. I will report of the success of these later.
I met up Hubby for lunch. Yum, yum.
After I got home, the code enforcement lady finally came, and our air conditioning unit is now up to code!
I took a nap.
I ate Mrs. Field's cookies.
I got dinner ready. (Rather, surveyed my fridge and decided that there is enough leftovers for dinner.)
I blogged.
And I can't wait to see A&Z.
Monday, September 24, 2007
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Fond Memories of NYC
What are my fond memories of NYC? Where do I even begin?!
When Hubby and I got engaged in September of 1999, the plan was for him to start B school the following fall around NYC. However, God had other plans- Hubby didn't get into B schools for that fall. Nonetheless, we got married. We decided to move into NYC, and say good-bye to Westchester that summer. We had planned that I would get all my rotations in the city, and Hubby would just figure something out about his work/school, whatever. Now, looking back at the decisions we made, hmm, Hubby took a lot of risks, to say the least. The brave/poor guy left his family, his friends, his colleagues. and moved to NYC, where we had one friend in common, no church, no family, no school...and at times, just an angry spouse...
We went to NYC to find a place to live in April of 2000. For those of you who have lived in NYC, it is not a city where you can find an apartment on your own, you need a realtor, someone who will demand 12-15% of your annual rent, up front! And most landlords also wanted first and last month rent up front! We were newly weds, trying to make it on our own, rather, trying to make it on Hubby's savings- because, up to that point, I had never had a real job. We got into a HUGE fight on our way back to Westchester that afternoon. Hubby was MAD because he felt he couldn't provide for his new wife. I was MAD because he was MAD, and come to think of it now, I just thought that God and Hubby would figure everything out. We took our only friend April's advice and looked in Brooklyn Heights- a safe neighborhood (a place that would be okay for me to walk around on my own at midnight, 4 in the morning, whenever, since who knew what kind of hours I would be keeping as a MSIII), a short commute by subway to my clinical rotations, and as for Hubby's work, he will figure something out. I think the plan was for him to keep working at Oracle, in its Manhattan office. That plan didn't last long, as he resigned in June after we decided his immediate supervisor was a moron and his career would just die. Anyway, God provided, and we found this amazing, 'railroad' apartment (the rooms are connected by a long hall way), and the landlord 'liked' us so much, that he only charged us $1350 instead of the market value of $2500! It was a great apartment- next to a firehouse (Aidan would be so envious if he knew) and on a beautifully tree-lined street. It was just two blocks to High Street for the A train, and Court Street for the 2/3 trains, also a few minutes away from the Brooklyn Bridge and the Promenade. It was also incredibly small- about 400 square feet. For all our California friends who visited us, they thought we had gone 'ghetto.' Our parents thought we had gone off to the deep end, maybe that was the reason they kept giving us huge checks for our birthdays...But to us, it was our first home, and it was fantastic. We hosted many friends for dinner, had many fights in there too (I used to turn on the light and keep fighting, after Hubby had finally gone to sleep- he really liked that...)
As for Hubby's career, he went to work for a consulting firm for 6 months, ironically, he was based in NYC, but his first project was in SF. He quit in December of 2000, and started B school in January. As for the consulting firm, it eventually died when the bubbles fizzed out.
As for his B school admission, that was all God's provision. The story will have to wait, as I have procrastinated long enough, and that mountain of laundry in need of folding, for sure isn't folding itself. -
Just Remembering
I made the mistake of going to the grocery store on a Sunday afternoon yesterday. Blah! The store was incredibly busy! Alas, it had to be done- Hubby's father was coming over for dinner to celebrate The Moon Festival, and it would not be good form to present him with a bowl of pasta. I mean, the man drives my two kids to school twice a week! And he brings me food all the time!
So there I was, standing in line to get a roasted duck. Okay, okay, so when I said I was 'making dinner', I was just putting things on a plate.
There was a lady in front of me, whose English was not so good, and whose Chinese was even worse, but her Spanish was great, but that didn't help her whole lot, since we were at a Chinese grocery store. She originally wanted half a chicken, then she wanted some broccoli, but not the stir-fried kind, the steamed kind, and rice, hm, no rice, hm, no broccoli, show me how much half a chicken is on the list, (the list is in Chinese), then the whole chicken, then for $1, please, some broccoli. I thought I was with Aidan for a second... Then, I realized that she was trying to put together a meal with whatever money she had. It had been a long time since we have had to watch our expenses like that. Back in NYC, when we were not making $ and paying 2 private school tuitions, we used to penny pinch too. We only ate whatever was on sale at the grocery store, yet we had lots of fond memories of those days.Then I was remembering when my English skills were super bad. My mom's father had started to lose his vision due to not taking care of his diabetes, and mom really wanted to get him a magnifying glass. The problem was, I didn't know how to say magnifying glass in English, and I wasn't familiar with the mega stores of the US to even know where to look for a magnifying glass. Mom got really mad at me for not wanting to ask for assistance at K-Mart. She insisted that I go and ask, for a 'thing that makes everything bigger.'
In the end, I felt really bad for being so impatient with the chicken lady...
As for dinner, we had roasted duck, I made a few other dishes, and Aidan put on a really good show and ate LOTS. I say Aidan put on a good show, because, stereotypically, Chinese families like to comment on one's eating habits, weight, and skin, and somehow they are all related. Ah, you have acne because you eat too much peanuts/chocolate...etc, your skin so dry, must eat more lard. Your skin so dark, must stop eating soy sauce, you have gotten so fat! Too much rice. Ah, you too skinny, not enough rice/meat...etc. Ah, at least finish the meat. You get my point. As for grandchildren's food intake, the more the merrier. Aidan dutifully sat down, ate a lot of the duck, rice, vegetables, fish, watermelon, and ice-cream. He even offered grandpa a big spoonful of ice-cream.
Friday, September 21, 2007
The Child We Never See
There are days when I feel like we don't actually have Zoe...because we never get to see her. Perhaps an exaggeration to say we NEVER see her, but I feel like we hardly see her. I picked her up at 3:45 yesterday, walked over and got Aidan at 4. We all got in the car at 4:15. Made it to swim class, where Aidan had learned to submerge himself in water, in a relaxed way! I held her during the lesson, and chatted with another mother. We got home at 5:30. I gave her some formula in a cup, then I gave her a bath, and nursed her, and she was in bed by 6:10. Hubby came home at 6:15- too late, missed seeing his daughter for the day. I fed her around midnight, then she was up at 6:20. I fed her, changed her, talked to her, and put her back for a nap at 7. I left for work at 8. Hubby was in charge of drop off today- and because today is a long day, I won't see her until 5:15. So, in 24 hours, I saw my daughter for...2 hours?! Also, tonight, after we put her to sleep, Hubby, Aidan and I are going out to dinner... Seriously, sometimes, we don't actually have a daughter...
While I was bathing Zoe last night, Aidan was working on building a surprise for Daddy via Legos. After I dressed Zoe, I ran downstairs to check on Aidan, and he had built this amazing truck, with six wheels! I went back upstairs and attached Zoe to me, then, I heard this shrieking, "I CAN'T FIND IT!!! I CAN'T FIND IT!!!" over and over again. I don't ever yell when I am nursing- just not fair to the baby who has to hear it full volume, besides, if Aidan is desperate enough, he will come find me. By the time I finished and went back downstairs, Aidan was in a fetal position, with his hippo, looking really, really sad. This poor guy had hid this surprise for Daddy...then he could not find it again! I tried to look, and inspected all the drawers, under the couch, the toy bins...nothing. He couldn't remember where he left it either... 
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Readers' Questions
What are Aidan's favorite books to read?
Aidan is very much enjoying George and Martha by James Marshall. We received the book as a gift from Auntie April when Aidan was wee-itty-bitty. He loves these two goofy hippos! Some of the humor is quite advanced, and we appreciate the subtle lessons. Aidan and Daddy also like to run around and yell, "EGAZ!"
He also likes books about trucks, especially the ones by Tonka. Let's just say those books are NOT WELL WRITTEN! We find them to be very soporific. Yet, Aidan continually requests these as bedtime reads...
For doctors like dentists and ophthalmologists and whoever else, what's the best way to find a good one? i mean, i imagine they all have degrees and are qualified to be doctors, but is there a better way to find a doctor you like other than by trial and error or yelp?
Referrals, referrals, referrals. Ask your friends, ask your colleagues, ask your realtor, ask your pastor. The joke in med school was, "what do you call the person who finished last in med school? A DOCTOR!" However, seriously, who wants to go to a doctor who nearly flunked out?! Also, you want to find someone with good people skills, as bright as Gregory House may be, I prefer someone who can talk to me. I still go to the dentist I went to as a child. I found my optometrist because some people we know, who have awesome glasses, go to him. When I give people referrals for therapists/psychiatrists, I refer them to people I look up to, and believe me, there are some out there, that are... enough said.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
New Pics
Monday, September 17, 2007
Weird Day...
I am having a very strange day... After all that rushing, I am now sitting in my office, sans patient. They somehow all cancelled. This is not good for my productivity, and I actually get rather frustrated when people cancel- because I still have to see them, but they will just take up another appointment, and that pushes everyone else back. Argh.
This morning though, we got to watch Aidan do a 'dragon dance.' Ever since he saw a lion dance at his cousin's birthday party, and a dragon dance at a festival, this little boy became obsessed with running around the house, with a big sheet over his head. He also found his toy drum, and had been playing 'taiko drums.' Zoe watched his 'show' and had a look of, 'why was I born into this crazy family?'
Anyway, so I am sitting in my office, with nothing to do, and already pumped out 6 ounces. I am totally ahead of my schedule! I was perusing LuvsNY and thought about these baby books. I did read them all, actually, I read them when Aidan was about 4 weeks old, and I was LOSING my mind. I took them out and refreshed myself this time around. This is an interesting selection, because it covers the wide spectrum of parenting styles. Personally, I don't have the patience to do attachment parenting, as recommended by Dr. Sears and the No Cry Solution people. I just want to have time for myself! On the other hand, Baby Wise, which encourages a schedule, is not recommended by most pediatricians- feeding on schedule can totally STARVE your baby! (Clearly, not true, all the time, maybe just some of the time.) Hubby banned the Baby Whisperer from our house because everytime I read it, I would cry and get really mad. Why? Beats me. Dr. Weissbluth is more in tune with what I thought I could be, and realistically, what I can do. Although, it has played out rather differently between Aidan and Zoe.
With Aidan, we have fond memories of holding him while he slept, and lots and lots of pictures to document also. He wasn't a great napper, and was as stubborn as can be, there had been many 'naps' that was just full of screaming. I could also count on him screaming for about 1/2 hour at his nighttime bedtime. It was MISERABLE.
With Zoe, either she is just more independent, or we don't have time to hold her while she sleeps, she has not been held to nap since she was about 6 weeks old! She continues to be a great napper, and there has been no screaming at bedtime. However, she likes to wake up and eat, and when that 'right' is denied, she screams her pretty little head off...
However, because we sleep trained our children to sleep independently, in their own crib/bed/pack-n-play, our children don't sleep on us when we are out for the day, and they also don't like to sleep in the car. Dr. Weissbluth believes that motionless sleep is much better anyway... but it does it make difficult to go out. For Zoe, our life is just fuller, and I am having to wear her so that she falls asleep on Sundays and other times when we are out and about. I really envy those babies that would sleep in the stroller while their mommys shopped at the mall...
Who knew parents would spend so much time thinking about sleep?! And we haven't even talked about co-sleeping yet! (We don't co-sleep because I am such a light sleeper, to co-sleep with Hubby is already a big step for me...)
As for Dr. Karp- we did swaddle Zoe a bunch when she was little, maybe that is why she was good at going to sleep on her own? Who knows. A lot of this is temperment- we have two 'by-the-book' kids, I think.
BTW, Zoe is about ready to crawl... I need to get organized and film her!
Friday, September 14, 2007
Baby Stuff
More baby stuff...
Exersaucer- We have this GIGANTIC piece of equipment, and I eagerly look forward to getting rid of it. It is useful to park Zoe in it while I just need 10 minutes to make dinner/shower/discipline big brother...etc. None of this baby equipment is meant to be used for extended periods of time. But they are great when you are home alone, and the baby needs entertainment, and you just really need to use the bathroom or something.
Breast Pump- I have only used Medela pump myself, but I think Purely Yours is probably much the same. I am a believer of an electric pump- and I know there are moms out there who use hand held types- but seriously, that would make me too much of a cow. At least with the electric pump, I can zone out and read something, or take a nap. You will need to get extra bottles- I like the Lansinoh glass bottles, since everyone out there is trying to avoid plastic. PLASTIC is the new dirty word, I think, for parents.
Bottles- If you are planning on breast feeding- be sure to get your baby started on a bottle. And chances are, if your baby likes to be breast fed, it will be a struggle to get them to take the bottle. I have a HUGE collection of all kinds of bottles- and am happy to pass them on to try. At $4 a bottle, after about 10 different ones, I much rather take myself out to dinner!
Diaper bag- the lighter, the better, since you will be loading it with all this just-in-case stuff. I really like mine, it is a LeSportsac. Light, lots of pockets.
More to come later...
I can't believe how much baby stuff we own- my mom raised us without much of this stuff. She went out with a bottle and a few diapers in her purse, and that was it. I think her plan was that if we soiled our clothes, she would just buy new ones.
Need Baby Photos?
I am super excited to introduce Hubby's baby photo website.
Phat Baby Photography
Check it out! And keep him in mind when you want/need photos of your adorable child/ren!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Baby Stuff
When I saw onthego's question about what baby stuff does one really need, I was so excited! Heck, after these two bambinos, I felt it was my duty to share my thoughts on this matter.The stuff...
1. Baby carrier- I think for a newborn, Baby Bjorn is the way to go. It is very easy to maneuver, unlike the other baby wraps/carriers, and for a first time parent, the fear of dropping the newbie is so great, that to make it simple is key. Also, for a couple whose frames are similar enough, like Hubby and me, we can leave the Bjorn on the same setting, and within seconds, our child is ready to go, either facing in for sleep, or facing out to see the world. Recently, I acquired the Ergo. It always takes me a while to get Zoe settled in it, and she is happy once we figure it out and it does distribute her weight to my hips more. However, Hubby despises this thing- he can't get her comfy, and I end up adjusting the Ergo a bunch after he uses it. I think an Ergo will be great for later, when she can ride on my back. I am afraid that you will end up buying two carriers, one for infancy, and another for young toddler.
2. Vibration chair- my babies do really well being vibrated. Some babies hate it, supposedly, and really, when you think about it, when did a fetus get vibrated?! These days, there are some chairs that move front-to-back as well as side ways. We have gotten by with a $25 model from Fisher Prize. It is just another place to put the newbie. You will eventually want to set the baby down, and as a newbie, they like to be a scrunched up, so the slight slant of these chairs is great for them.
3. Swings- I had a supervisor who told me that I needed to get a swing as soon as he heard I was pregnant. I actually didn't end up buying one- takes up way too much space. Aidan did fine without one. For Zoe, I borrowed one, and it was useful to transition to sleep without me. However, she never fell asleep in it and she really didn't like it when she was awake either. She did great when I would nurse her to sleep, and then transferred her to a swing-in-motion. I did let her swing between 9 pm to whenever-she-got-up, and that usually meant about 4 hours of swinging. We were concerned that her brain would be mush, but alas, I needed some sleep. We really only used it for about 2 weeks, between the age of 6 weeks to 8 weeks. Beyond that, she was asleep in her crib.
4. Baby swaddle clothes- I am not good with folding things, and these things with velcro were great for making my own baby burritos. We didn't swaddle Aidan and so I think he cried more, unnecessarily. We swaddled Zoe as long as we could- up to about 4 months, and she always did really well.
5. Pack-n-Play- do not waste your money on an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper! What a waste of my money! It was SO incredibly heavy that Hubby always wanted to die after moving it anywhere. We got rid of it and bought a $60 pack-n-play by Fisher Price. It was so much lighter, so much easier to assemble. And it had wheels!
6. Clothes- Do not buy too much 0-3 months stuff, esp if you are having a boy. Okay, okay, so this is so stereotypical, to say that boys are bigger...but they are! Aidan wore his 0-3 month size for about 1 week. Zoe wore it longer, but still, just 1-2 months. Depending on how much you want to do laundry... you probably want at least 3 days of clothes, and that would equal to about 10 onesies, 6 jammies. Forget socks, just buy jammies with footsies. For a winter baby, a hat and a jacket. I would recommend sticking with the minimum for the first weeks- they don't look all that good in clothes anyway, with no head support, it is also a pain to change them. Might as well make it easy on yourself, while you can. Within about 2 months, you will figure out what you like- either have lots of clothes and hardly do laundry, or fewer pieces to store and do laundry more frequently.
7. Water proof pads- a MUST. If you want to sleep with your infant in your bed, on the couch...ever, you need this. Also good for mom to sleep on this- nursing breasts like to spill...
8. Butt Cream- this is a must. I am somewhat sheepish to admit we use that fancy $8 a tube French stuff... It really clears up redness like nobody's business. You will want to use some form of butt cream after every diaper change, after you blow dry these delicate bottoms... Nothing like an erythematous perianal rash to scare new parents...
9. Diaper Genie- we used one religiously with Aidan, and we haven't even taken it back into the house for Zoe. Seriously, just throw the diaper in a garbage bin (with lid) and take the garbage out at the end of the day. No plastic can protect you from the smell, better use distance...
Well, that is all that I can think of for now...more to come later.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Good Thing We Are Not Dating Anymore
Hubby and I had planned a fabulous date for today. The plan was to utilize my free Wednesday, since Aidan and Zoe would be in school, for the two of us to escape to lunch and a movie before getting the children.Well, it didn't quite work out that way.
Hubby had been very busy at work, and staying up late to do work every evening, and he also wanted to get to work early today so that he can accomplish much prior to our date. He took off for work at 8:15. I had a dentist appointment and had planned on getting the children out of the door by 8:30. Aidan and I hopped into the car, where Zoe had settled down for her nap...only to find the car battery was DEAD! While I frantically turned the key again and again, to no avail of the familiar ignition noise, Aidan said, "Mommy, you need to call Daddy." Argh. Even my child knew I would not be able to take care of this on my own! Anyway, Daddy came home, jumped the car, and we all got on with our day.
Then, when we were meeting for lunch, we couldn't find parking, for a long time. And then there was too long of a wait for the place where we had wanted to eat... After eating rather quickly, Hubby went back to the car to do a conference call, while I went to get our movie tickets. Then I was waiting for Hubby. He finished his call about one minute prior to the movie, and we made it to see most of the previews. Once we got settled in the dark movie theater, I turned on my breast pump and generated 5 ounces for Zoe's lunch.
It is a really good thing we are not dating anymore. Because, in my mind, today's date, would be a hard sell for me, when I was single.
But because we are now parenting two children, I enjoyed it all so much. Ah, the freedom to talk, without someone interrupting...
We saw The Bourne Ultimatum and we were so entertained. I had found The Bourne Identity to be so amusing- particularly the scene where Bourne used the dead body to cushion his landing as he fell. The sad thing, though, was we could not remember what and when we last saw a movie.
It had been rather difficult going back to work- I lack a workable rhythm for our routine, and my attempt for smooth sailing had not materialized- I just couldn't synchronize it all. Between packing 4 lunches most evenings, and washing all the feeding accessories for Zoe, and trying to get to work, and then swim lesson, and dinner, I found myself hanging by a thin thread. Granted, I know it will take me at least a month to get into a groove, but this transition time is just, well, so annoying!
As for Zoe's feeding accessories, there are the pump collection bottles, and caps. The actual bottles and nipples, the cups... She is also still trying to 'allow' being fed by another person through another mechanism. I shelled out $25 today for 2 Adiri bottles- it is suppose to mimic the breast...
I seriously need to think of the Gospel more to get myself through this...
Monday, September 10, 2007
Just to Clarify
On re-reading my previous post, I thought I should clarify, this very important point:
That I think stay-at-home moms work really hard, probably harder than I do at work.
I don't mean to imply that stay-at-home moms sit on the couch and eat bonbons, and that is why they can make it to small group. I thought I would be eating bonbons when I was planning for my maternity leave for Aidan, HA! It was the hardest six months of my life!
I found myself recruiting other moms to go to moms' group at church yesterday- sadly, I can't go to the group anymore, and I guess I was trying to live vicariously through other moms.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Question
Here is another question,"What are your reflections on post college small groups/fellowship vs. college small groups/fellowship?"
From the time I was an adolscent, up to about 2 years ago, I had always been involved in some form of fellowship groups. In college, I was involved with InterVarsity Fellowship and had particpated in Mark Studies and the other weekly group. In med school, I co-led a women's group, then after we got married, we went to a Redeemer Pres community group on the East Side. When we moved out here, we hosted a small group with Grace Pres for about a year, then co-led the same group for another year. The group transformed into a young family group, and we tried to sustain that for a while, but eventually, we ended the group. I also attended a mom's group for a while. As of now, though, sadly to say, we are not a part of a group, and... we are hoping to participate again, when Zoe is about 3-4 years old.
The biggest thing I thought was significant for a community based fellowship group versus a college group, was diversity. In a college group, often peer led, you only get the views of people who are exactly the same as you, more or less. You are all very young, about the same aspirations, single, childless, and essentially, have lots of time for each other.
In a church based group, you get lots more different people. I loved our group in New York, while it was still mostly singles, and people in the 20's and 30's, it was different enough, yet similar enough, just right for the stage I was at. The leader of the group was an elder, and that brought a lot more depth to the discussions. We still talk about that group and miss it dearly.
Once we started having children, community group somehow just became nearly impossible for us to attend. There was the nap schedule to consider, and when Aidan got older, to keep him busy and quiet while we discussed was difficult, and at two, he was also too young to play in the other room and constantly came back to get us. I think young families do better with group life if the mother is a stay-at-home mom. (Perhaps that is a controversial thing to say, I don't know.) I think stay-at-home moms look forward to being with the group, whereas, I was just too tired to even think about enjoying the group. From my observations, the groups that work really well for young families, in general, meet early in the evenings, but with a working mom, it is really hard to get to places in the early evening. Or, they meet on Sunday afternoons, but then again, for me, Sunday afternoons are so precious, for regaining sanity.
On the other hand, I have loved my time in mom's group. Often times, there is separate childcare for mom's groups, and that is just an amazing time, that the children are cared for, the I can be in the company of people going through the same challenges, and find comfort from the more experienced moms in their walks with Christ.
What I really want, soon, is to be involved in a group, locally based, and that we would care for each other, that we would make meals, have playdates...etc. I guess I want to combine all the 'hanging out time' from a college group, to the wisdom of a church based group.
Friday, September 07, 2007
TGIF
I don't think I have ever been so happy about Fridays as I am today.Aidan's sleep is much better, after we refreshed him on our sleep rules:
1. You close your eyes
2. No talking
3. No moving.
4. GO TO SLEEP.
Of course, he needs some incentives to obey the rules...
Zoe is also improving her skills at getting her nourishment during the day. She has become better at using Medela's Softfeeder- a fancy, $30, tool that essentially allows her to eat like she is a cat.
Work, on the other hand, sucked all my energy today. Seriously, why did I choose to be a psychiatrist?! Alas, Hubby reminded me to chant, "no more call, no more call." I had forgotten how little resources my new patient population has access to, and that, makes my work harder, than my previous cushy setting. Nonetheless, I will persevere, and it will get better.
As for tonight, I am going to go to bed early again.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Wordless...
There are not enough words to describe my fatigue...Obviously, I am finding some words to describe this, or else, what is the point of a blog?
It is 6:02 AM, and I am awake- the woes of motherhood, so tired, yet can't sleep.
Zoe's second day wasn't much better in terms of feeding, or sleeping for that matter. Her teachers, (I love these teachers, they are incredible) were quite concerned about dehydration. I wasn't so concerned, since she had a huge alligator tear when I walked in on her screaming for food. She was spoon fed, for all of 3 ounces during the day. Good grief. Susan suggested that we try all the different nipples again, and she thought my kids are very stubborn. (I wonder where they get that from, it isn't like Hubby and I are stubborn or anything!
) Therefore, I packed her 10 ounces of formula today (maybe she doesn't want breast milk when I am away) and seven different bottles/nipples.As for her night time sleep, she had been great about maintaining a 7-8 hour stretch. While my 'rules' are such that I don't feed her before 6, she started to cry about 5:40. WHAT TO DO?! 20 minutes, what is the big deal? Ultimately I decided that I just wanted to feed her and put her back in the crib, maybe she will sleep until 7, and make everything easier for me this morning. I will deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.
As for Aidan, his second day was fabulous. However, this sneaky big boy had been doing strange things about his sleep. He had been complaining of 'my legs hurt.' My differential included growing pains versus whining. There had also been in increase of night time waking, "my blanket isn't CONNECTED"! Good grief, your bed isn't made of Legos! I am going to have a talk with him this morning, about fixing things himself if he isn't happy about his bed, and that if he wakes me up, no Legos for the next day.
With all this going on, I am sleeping in 3 hour stretches. I also am not napping anymore- since I am back at work. So, I haven't felt this tired, since... I don't know. It really feels like my surgery rotation, being on call, being woken up, getting up super early...
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