Wednesday, January 30, 2008
This is it!
After leaving Our Lady of No Mercy, I started my pediatrics rotation at Vinnie's- this was it! This was the rotation for me to SHINE, that I would work so hard, to get an HONOR in this class, because, I was going to be a pediatrician!Obviously, I didn't end up being a pediatrician...
The pediatric rotation was divided into three main blocks, for eight weeks total- that 6 of it was spent working on the pediatric floor, 2 weeks in clinic, and 2 weeks in the emergency room. I was assigned to start in the ER. They called it Peds ER, but really, it was just another room in the regular ER that had a separate waiting area- I suppose to keep children away from gunshot wounds, traumas...etc. When it was busy, it was full of children having diarrhea or vomiting. When it wasn't busy, it was the slowest days of my life. With all these kids being so contagious, I actually never caught the gastroenteritis, but I think I had a cold for this entire rotation. One day, my job was to keep this girl from falling asleep- she had taken some GHB (the date rape drug, kind of weird that I am thinking she took it on purpose, but again, my memories could be totally wrong.) She kept wanting to fall asleep, but we needed to keep her up, so every few minutes, I would poke her. The interesting part of this block was the senior resident I had. He was almost finished with his med/ped residency- four years to be trained in internal medicine and pediatrics (sounds like four years of endless rounding, but whatever.) He had unexpectedly became a father as a MSIV, ironically, to another medical student who went on to Ob/Gyn (some of these OBs were not so great about birth control, another story for another rotation.) They had a really cute little girl, and they lived with his parents. Everyday, he would walk in and say, "I am in a rut." His knowledge base was incredible, but so depressed. Poor guy.
During my weeks on the floor, I had this attending, who was also a med/ped person- who would quiz us about someone's various blood values, only to correct us- because he had memorized it all already. The in-patient unit was truly depressing, really sick kids, lots of them. Vinnie's also took a lot of admissions from this facility that took care of mentally retarded children, really, really sad.
The nurses were always frantically busy- since a lot of these babies needed to be held, fed, changed, ALL the time.
Half way through this, I decided, I really couldn't stand this. I didn't like all the sick kids! And that thought was reaffirmed when I got to the clinic. If the kids weren't sick, they were in clinic for well child visits: mind numbingly dull. Although I had this parent who started to FLOSS while the attending was giving them anticipatory parenting advice... Just not for me.
What was the good parts about this rotation? Well, just for the record, I never, NEVER, did this. But, you can blame toxic gases (you know, excessive flatulence) on babies, and these babies cannot defend themselves! Seriously though, I developed quite the respect for pediatricians- but general pediatrics just wasn't going to be my calling, and to do a subspecialty would require another 2-3 years beyond a 3 year residency, and that, I couldn't swallow.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
-
Red Team vs. Blue Team
Really, the surgical unit at Our Lady of No Mercy has a red team and a blue team. What possesses them to name a team red, you know, red isn't often associated with good outcomes, or blue for that matter... "Blue team! To code blue!" But I suppose the FMGs just don't care. The big debate, as a medical student, is which team to be on, your life is ruled by the interns and residents on your team. They make or break you. Clearly, my first two weeks in the SICU was a disaster. I need a better team, but I can't remember which color, and I suppose it didn't matter, because: sometimes, we rounded in HINDI. You didn't think I spoke Hindi, did you? Well, I didn't, and I don't. What a royal waste of time. But I guess it does't really matter, since surgical rounds are so short. The basic questions are:
1. Is the patient alive?
2. When is the patient leaving the unit? Anywhere will do, home, nursing home, medical unit, morgue...
After prerounds and rounds, strangely, we all head to the cafeteria. If training was not great at OLnoM, food was at least plentifully provided- all students and housestaff got THREE meals a day. We would all sit down, eat together, and then go to the OR, which was quite odd, given that there was SO much to do. What else was odd, was that there was a resident who ate egg whites, and only egg whites- she would eat at least 6 egg whites. I wasn't sure how that sustained her until lunch, since I would eat bacon, waffles, eggs, and I would still be starving at 10:30, as I looked into someone's bowels and thought about sausages...
After we ate (kind of like preschool!) I scrubbed into whatever case I was assigned to. A few things about being in the OR.
1. You have to stand REALLY still.
2. Don't get in anyone's way.
3. If you are sterile, don't do anything to get dirty. No potty breaks, no scratching your nose, no itching.
4. Whatever you do, hold it. If you are retracting, apply steady, constant, force, and don't ever move. If you are holding the camera for laparoscopy, utilize your telepathy skills and know where to point, and then, HOLD STILL.
5. Be prepared to answer really random questions about the anatomy.
6. You will never be comfortable temp wise, you will be freezing, or sweating.
And do the above for HOURS and HOURS and HOURS.
The longest case I scrubbed into, lasted EIGHT hours, I suppose it really was 'only' eight hours, since some other surgeries could go longer. It was some sort of thyroidectomy, and I had to hold these retractors that looked forks, for EIGHT HOURS. I wanted to pass out, you see, if I passed out, that being an autonomic function, I couldn't be blamed. I tried to perfect this skill...to no avail during my surgery rotation.
In the afternoon, we all ran around and tried to get things done as quickly as possible- which was a little tricky, because, like I said, I didn't know anything. Wet-to-dry dressing changes? Hmm. Ok. I will just do it wet for a few layers and then dry for a few more layers, the lots of tape. AWESOME! Then, there was one time when we got tape over someone's public hairs... OUCH. Why we didn't think of shaving it off, would be another topic entirely.
I did this for four weeks, while I took Q6 call. That's right! I only had to work overnight, every 6th night! How awesome was that, and usually, I got to sleep between 2 am and 5:30 am. Not bad.
Then, onto this strange 2 week block at an ancillary hospital- so I was away from the rest of the students and residents. That place was impossible to get to via public transit, so I had to PAY cab money to go there in the AM, cab money to get back to the mothership after the afternoon. Since I was a poor student, I just didn't go all that frequently to my AM 'commitments.' Strangely, no one asked, no one cared. Kind of like how I improvised about dressing changes, no one asked, no one complained, no one taught me anything, and no one cared.
That was one SAD, SAD, rotation. The good part?
We got 'didactic time' everyday, and the attending who reviewed various subjects with us was so smart. I got better at managing surgical patients, as long as it was in a multiple choice format! I also enjoyed the other medical students a lot- we made fun of ourselves every chance we got! And, it was awesome to hear stories from these amazing attendings: one of them was a trauma surgeon during the Vietnam War- simlply incredible the kind of risks he took. I suppose there was just no comparison to getting trained on the battle field. And the very best part? PILONIDAL CYSTS!
Moving on- PEDIATRICS! -
One More Time!
Zoe is sick, again. She actually got a fever this time- Teacher Anna had just taken her temp when I was parking the car, so I didn't get a call this time, which would have been doubly stressful. So we will be home tomorrow. This would be cold #5. According to our pediatrician, a baby who is in daycare, will have about 6 colds her first year- I suppose we are almost done.
Meanwhile, Aidan's classroom decided that they are not suitable to use scissors for a while, unless supervised. I wanted to know what precipitated this event, alas, his teachers didn't want to say, although they reassured me that Aidan wasn't a culprit. While we were playing with Lego, I asked Aidan about it.
Me: "Honey, so, no more scissors at school, huh?"
Aidan: "Let's not talk about it."
Me: "I know you know how to use scissors responsibly. So, tell me, what happened?"
Aidan: silent... "We are not going to use scissors for a while."
Me: "Ok. Mommy is just curious."
Aidan: "Rachel's hair got cut."
Me: "Really? Did she cry? Who did it?"
Aidan: "I don't want to talk about it anymore."
Interesting how these 4 year olds are defending themselves...
Meanwhile, all sorts of medical facts are also resurfacing, things from high school...
Remember how in biology, there is a huge fuss about that the central nervous systems have oligodendrites that form the fat sheath around the neurons? And the peripheral system has Schwann cells that do that? And that cranial nerve II and VIII are actually covered by oligodendrites, whereas all other CNs are covered by Schwanns? Well. Because, Schwann cells can regenerate myelin, and oligodendrites cannot regenerate the myelin in CNS. Who cares? Well. In Guillain-Barre Syndrome, it affects the PNS, so patients with advanced GBS, can hear and see, but not breathe. In multiple sclerosis, a CNS disease, vision changes are very common. And, people recover from GBS because of regeneration, but people recover from MS, not because of regeneration, but that inflammation remits. In case you wanted to know. And, this medical fact isn't disgusting.
We shall resume disgusting surgical issues tomorrow.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Seeing Green
Warning: you might not want to scroll down if you're the squeamish kind.
After four weeks of neurology, I went on to surgery, at Our Lady of No Mercy, in the Bronx. That was certainly a BRIGHT idea: live in Brooklyn Heights, but sign up to do SURGERY, in the Bronx. I chose Our Lady of No Mercy, because, the surgery rotation had a reputation of, "much less call." Yes, I spent my third year avoiding call. There was another site for this rotation, in the West Village- St. Vincents', which would have been so much closer, but that program by reputation, started rounding at 4 am. I figured, I would still do less work, if I had to get to the Bronx by 6:00 am. The assumption was that, I would not, could not, definitely not, be a surgeon.
So, for EIGHT weeks, I hopped on the 2 train at Clark Street, precisely at 4:58 AM, to ride through all of Manhattan, most of the Bronx, and get out at 233rd Street. I would literally run into the hospital, change into my green scrubs, and be someone's slave, until 6 pm. Then I would hop back on the train, for another hour or so, to make it home.
Hubby had started his new job by then, as a consultant, based in Manhattan, but on site in San Francisco- might as well, since I was hardly home, and when I was, I wanted to go to sleep.
Even as I am typing this, scary, scary, memories are resurfacing...
I had been assigned to the SICU for my first 2 weeks. What a bad, Bad, BAd, BAD way to start hospital work- I didn't know how to write surgical notes, I didn't know why this intern was asking me to do a history and physical for this patient, who had undergone repair surgery for abdominal aneurysm (because he was too lazy to do it himself, despite the patient had been on his service for DAYS prior to my arrival) and all the patients were vented, and nearly dead. I couldn't fine their veins- because their veins had been so tortured already. I didn't know how to do a blood gas, I just did not know ANYTHING. What is a medical student to do? I tried to stay off the unit as much as I could- which only made this intern really mad at me, and when he got mad, his accent got even worse, and I could not understand him one bit. So then he got more mad because I would ask him to repeat himself... Bad, bad, cycle.
It was so bad, that on my first overnight call, I cried. I cried so much that a fellow student thought I was not going to make it through the day. But I did. And I managed to convince the resident, that I was not needed, and she sent me home!
The badness of this rotation shall continue later, I gotta go get smart about neurology. Or maybe, practice doing an ABG on an unsuspecting person to make up for lost skills.
But how can I discuss surgery without mentioning the good thing about doing surgery? Pilonidal cycts! Remember how I wrote about it? Well, today, I am posting a picture... I tried to find one without the hairy buttocks...or the least hairy...
Saturday, January 26, 2008
First Step!
Of course, I didn't catch her first steps on video. So this is a poor substitute. But she does this on command, so...
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Onward ho!
The boys went to watch a movie, http://www.veggiepirates.com/ and I am suppose to be studying, so, I better hurry.After four weeks of Family Practice, I moved on to neurology- again, not the smartest move, because I really needed some bread and butter rotation to get into the groove of being the pion in a hospital. You know, "yes sir, I will run this to the lab." "Yes, your highness, I will bring you a coke."
Instead, I worked with a bunch of FMGs, as I mentioned a few days ago. The good thing about neurology, was that every morning, we would meander over to neuroradiology and read the films overnight with this brilliant neuroradiologist. Her name, I think, was Dr. Cassandra SomethingOrOther. Cassandra, man, a name I wish I had, sort of. And she was SO smart! She dictated incredibly quickly, and was just so smart, beyond words kind of smart. For a brief second, I wanted to be just like her. But I quickly realized that I could not, would not, sit in the dark all day long.
There were some interesting patients, as interesting as neurology patients can be. Essentially, in an acute hospital setting, only a handful of diagnoses would show up:
Stroke
Tumor
Trauma
AIDS
MS
The management of them? Essentially, not very much. Neurologists would spend ALL day localizing the lesion, then, well, prognosis? Poor.
There was this really elderly Chinese woman who presented with a brain tumor, that was about to herniate. The neurologist was impressed, that this old woman, who was an herbalist in China, had given herself the equivalent of steroids, in herbs, and it decreased the swelling and thus, gave her a little more time at home. For a Chinese person, I am incredibly skeptical of herbs, but, this instance, I could not argue.
As for her prognosis? Poor. I think she died within a few days...
As for the clinic? What a pain. Literally, most of the patients were seen either for headache or seizures. It did not take me long to realize that I did not, could not, would not, be a neurologist.
So it is kind of funny, that psychiatry and neurology share the same board, and my board exam will be 1/3 neurology. My goal for this next month, is to get through Kauffman's Neurology for Psychiatrists textbook. I am going to READ the chapters, take notes, and be a really studious person. Really.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Recommending Myself
Maybe they will take away my license when they read about this, or maybe the FBI would call me... Risks I am willing to take to keep my readers amused.
I had started my third year clerkships with Family Practice- the thought was that, it would be an easy way to start the year: no call, working all outpatient, at an office close to our new home, so that I would have lots of time to be with my new husband. In retrospect, that wasn't a good thing- since I didn't really learn the basics of being a MSIII very well, precisely because the rotation was so loosy-goosy. But I did have a fun month though. I had been assigned to this family practitioner whose office is located not too far from South Street Seaport, adjacent to Little Italy, China Town, so guess what that meant for this office? THE MAFIA. This doc had quite a few Mafia dudes as his patients- some guy would come in every week for his Vitamin B12 shot, you know, so he would be all buffed when he hunted down people and beat them up. I gave this man a few shots myself... The doc really didn't know any criminal activities per se, but he received 'protection' from the Mafia. He said that when he bought the practice, the office came with bullet proof vests, which still hung in the staff bathroom. Initially, he got robbed a couple of times in his first year- who would rob a doctor's office? Don't they know, insurance companies don't pay anything?! He told his receptionist to never open shop without him, and once, he mentioned it to some patients, that the reason clinic would be closed some mornings was because he wasn't there and the receptionist wasn't allowed to open shop. One of his patients told him, "I will take care of it." Since then, no troubles for him ever again.
Meanwhile, he ran a really 'interesting' practice. He didn't keep an appointment book: you come when you want to come, and you wait until your turn, and clinic closes when he finishes. There were days that I would look into the waiting room and wanted to die, because there would be 15 people waiting...
At the end of the rotation, I needed a letter from him, which he said, "Go home and write one, I will read it, and sign it." I actually spent a long time drafting this 'recommendation letter,' since you know, being Chinese and all, boasting was not a virtue. Alas, I wrote a very nice, very lengthy letter, and he signed it without reading it. I ended up using that letter as part of my residency application- since most attendings wrote very short letters. Don't worry, I had to turn in 4 letters from 4 different docs, and, the dean from school also had to author a letter. Seriously, I was/am not a fraud.
Later, when other classmates rotated with him, I heard that some of them, most of them, didn't even GO. They showed up once a week, for 4 weeks. Whereas I went everyday, 8-5. I really should have played hookie.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
-
What Aidan Loves These Days
Aidan is in love. He loves Carrie Underwood. I had purchased the Enchanted Soundtrack a few weeks ago, because http://www.xanga.com/onthego and blogged about how they had so enjoyed it, that RTB had bought the album. With the purchase of this album from iTune, there was a music video of this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-nRGC720Qak
When we get home from school, the first few things Aidan wants to do is, "Watch the dancing girl in Manhattan."
He has also found his bride. Moira, is her name. She is this delightful blond girl from Aidan's preschool class. When he mentioned that he wanted to marry her last week, I told Aidan that because we love God, he needs to go find out if Moira loves God.
A: "Mom, I asked Moira if she loves God."
Me: "Really? What did she say?"
A: "She didn't say anything."
Me: "Hmm." While I was thinking, I don't know if this family is Christian...
A: "Can you ask her Mommy when you see her next time?"
Me: "Sure, we can ask her together."
Later, as I was tucking Aidan in, he asked, as he had been lately, "Is there going to be a fire while I sleep?" His good friend, P, had some neighbors who fell asleep while making a meal, that the house burned down. Aidan had become rather concerned, asking about our fire safety protocols whenever he would head to school, head to bed...etc. I always reassured him that the stoves get turned off, that I hadn't ironed (his Richard Scarry book had a house catch on fire because Mother Cat was ironing) and that he could check everything if he wanted to.
A: "When I marry Moira, and we have our own house, I will make sure that she pays attention while she uses the stove. And I will check when we go to bed."
Well, several things, good thing that this young man doesn't plan to free load from us after he is married. But secondly, why is Moira going to be doing all the cooking? We have something that we need to work on.
By the way, Aidan also plans to have six kids, own two buses, when he grows up. I hope Moira is aware of all this. -
US vs. Foreign
As a medical student, I worked with quite a few foreign medical grads- FMGs. Their stories were fascinating, most of them were surgeons back in China/India/South America, they gave it all up, dragged their entire families to the States, and started over with post graduate training. They sign up for USMLE review courses at Kaplan, and stay in those dark little rooms, all day long, to study. When I went to Kaplan for my MCAT review (what a waste of time and money) and I saw these folks, hunched over their thick, thick books, with their stuff all spread out, and seemed like they made those desks their permanent homes.
There was this neurosurgeon who came to the States from somewhere-in-the-middle-East, and he signed on as an intern for the neurosurgery residency programs. Surgery programs have these intern spots, that do not guarantee that one would be able to advance on to second year, just so that they have enough people to do scut work. Whereas most US grads match to 'categorical spots', meaning they are more or less, definitely going to advance. This guy, I think, did this neurosurgery intern position for FIVE years. Eventually, he realized that he was never going to get a categorical spot (I could not believe it took him FIVE years to realize that!) He changed specialties and became a radiologist, instead. He told me it was quite confusing actually, to become a radiologist, because when you are reading the film, you study the film from one direction, and when you are operating, you are behind, therefore, all the landmarks he knew as a surgeon came on the opposite side.
It was also interesting working with FMGs during my neurology rotation, that while the residents were FMGs, the interns were all US grads doing transitional years, to go on to super cushy residency programs in derm, radiology...etc. So while these FMGs busted their chops, the US grads sat back, talked it up with the attendings. Always kind of disheartening.
While I like to think of myself as quite motivated, I definitely lack the motivation of these FMGs.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Purses
I am not fond of carrying purses. I didn't even own a purse until 8th grade- my piano teacher actually thought it was strange, that I would show up for piano lessons with my stack of music and nothing else. That she bought me a purse for Christmas that year.Why don't I like to carry purses? Well, why carry something and hurt my back at all? I need my hands free! To explore the world! To do stuff! Maybe that is the first reason I became a doctor: when physicians work, they have their white coats, with huge pockets, to carry everything one could ever need! Forget the purse.
As a MSIII, I carried my stethoscope around my neck, my beeper clipped to the top left pocket, along with my code cheat sheet. My bottom pockets carried a few bucks, the papers noting all my tasks for the day, a quick reference for whatever rotation I was doing, keys, chapstick, and a pen. During surgery, I also carried 4x4s, 2x2s, and probably some kind of scissors. What else could a girl want?
A resident is better off not carrying a purse anyway. There was a pediatric resident who had her purse stolen from the residents' room during med clinic. This was a room where residents reviewed each case with whatever attending was there, theoretically, someone should be in that room at all times, since each clinic was staffed by at least 5 residents, 4 med students, and 1 attending. However, a purse went missing! Just to think that it probably got stolen by a PATIENT, someone that we tried to help. Nonetheless, given how long these patients had to wait, maybe they were trying to make up for lost wages by taking a resident's purse.
These days, I have to carry a purse, since I don't wear a white coat anymore. Occasionally, I carry a diaper bag. That is not to say I don't appreciate a fine purse- but why bother with a nice purse when the kids will rummage through it, leave disgusting objects in there, and at some point, carry soiled clothes?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Remembering
My college reunion is coming up this spring- it is quite frightening, actually, to think that I graduated from beloved Scripps ten years ago. In thinking about that, I realize that I must write down as much as I can remember, because, during my phone conversation with my mom last night, it became clear that one day, I will probably say quite random things, if there is no paper trail. I had called her to just say hi, and she wanted to know if Hubby was still coughing, which I confirmed.Mom: You should take an egg yolk, add some honey, microwave that, and eat it, it would really help. I took that all the time when I was pregnant with you three.
Me: Mom, we didn't get a microwave in Taiwan until after http://www.xanga.com/giddiemon was born.
Mom: Really? No. We had a microwave before that.
Me: No Mom, Dad took a trip a couple years after she was born to the States and brought back a microwave.
Mom: Really? I can't remember.
So, I am going to write about my memories, things that I don't usually talk about, just so that when A & Z are adolescents and wanting to go to boarding school, I will remember why they would want to do that, and that, when I was 15, I had wanted the same thing.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Let's Go See the Otters!
We had gone to The Monterey Aquarium in 2005, also over Martin Luther King's weekend- Aidan was almost 2, and it was so fun, that we decided to venture out that way again this year. http://www.xanga.com/private/yourhome.aspx?user=aidansmom&nextdate=1%2f22%2f2006+23%3a59%3a59.999We had planned to leave town on Saturday morning, and spend three nights in Pacific Grove, eat at fancy places, see the otters, drive along the coast, watch cable in the hotel, and generally, have a fantastic time. Alas, that was just not meant to be- when Aidan woke up with a fever on Friday morning. Sometimes, maybe having a doctor as a mother isn't a good thing: I thought, low grade fever, no big deal, we gave him some ibuprofen, and took both kids to school- please don't report us, since theoretically, children with fevers are not supposed to go to school. I had a very busy day in clinic, and while I was on hold with a pharmacy at 4:45, the receptionist buzzed me- and she only buzzes me for two reasons: 1. I have a patient waiting, or 2. In case of an emergency. Very bad news when I see the buzzer blinking. Anyway, Teacher Rita had called to say that Aidan had a fever. I left clinic as soon as I could, at 4:55, and made a beeline to school. When kids are identified to be 'ill', they are quarantined at the office, which is always a sad sight. When I got there, Aidan was sitting quietly next to Teacher Barbara reading books, and his eyes filled with alligator tears the second he saw me... After discussing the extent of his illness with Teacher Barbara, we collected Zoe and drove home. Aidan fell asleep on the way home- something he hadn't done in years. Poor guy.
We decided to cancel the trip, so I called http://www.centrellainn.com to say that we won't be coming. And cancelled with Aidan's good friend, P. Fortunately for us, P was willing to take a rain check, and the bed and breakfast credited the first night as a gift certificate and that we just had to go visit them sometime. Aidan woke up on Saturday morning, with a fever again, and after he got a dose of ibuprofen, he seemd like his usual, cheerful self, and we went to Trader Joe's, and his favorite TJ Maxx! He also collected his $5 allowance, and told me, "Let's not buy anything today, let's save my money for a big set of Legos." By the end of the day, he was in such a happy mood, we decided to go to Monterey anyway.
We left on Sunday AM, loaded up our car with so much stuff! Aidan and Daddy had a really fun time at the Aquarium, for 20 minutes, while Zoe and I saw the inside of the bathroom. Then we ate, and went to the hotel. A&Z went down for a nap, and after they got up, we went to dinner at http://www.fandangorestaurant.com/ You know your life is forever different, when you show up to fine dinning establishments at 4:55 and ask to be served, as soon as possible, as quickly as possible. We enjoyed an appetizer, paella, pasta, lamb, and dessert, all by 6:00. Zoe was in bed by 6:45, and Aidan went to bed at 8:30. Hubby and I felt like we were so task oriented all day: You take this one to see the otters, I will take this one to get a new diaper, then I will get food, and let you know when I am sitting down... you go get our stuff from the car, I will feed and change, and entertain. You go figure out where to eat, and I will amuse the children...
The hotel was, hmm, interesting. Centrella Inn looked amazingly beautiful on the website, and I got us a Victorian cottage: so that there would be a big closet for Zoe, and separate sleeping quarters for Aidan and us. I learned a couple things about Victorian charm: that such charm came without insulation. I felt like the rain drops were inside, and I could hear the neighbors working in their garden. It also became obvious that either, we have Aidan sleep on the pull out couch, so that we can sleep on the comfy bed, or that, we sleep on the lumpy couch, but then we have TV! The TV won out, so I felt like I was doing abdominal crunches all night long. Zoe made a peep at 4 and Aidan called out to us, while Hubby went to take care of them, I assumed that he went to take care of Zoe, but when the crying turned into shrieking, I ran into the room, to find that Hubby was snuggled up with Aidan! Alas, Zoe and I snuggled on the pull out couch for a little while and then she went back to the pack and play.
By the time morning rolled around, we decided, enough was enough, we needed to pack up and go home. The rain had started, and I could not picture myself walking in the rain with my offsprings all day long, and we all really missed our own beds. I informed the innkeeper, who was so gracious, and let us go without a fuss, after she served us an amazing breakfast. Then, Zoe went down for a nap, while I took Aidan on a walk to the aquarium during a break from the rain. The walk, seemed lovely when I read about it, a little over a mile, along the water, a good idea, right? After three blocks, Aidan started asking to be carried, I tried bribary with gum, then the promise of hot cocoa upon our arrival to the aquarium, all to no avail. Passerbys even asked me, "Are you guys ok?" NO! I WAS NOT OK. I did not want to, could not, would not, carry a 40 pound preschooler, not with a fox, not in a box, not with a side of lox. And you asking only made it worse! Alas, we dragged ourselves to the aquarium. We got to see the otters get their breakfast, we got hot cocoa, we saw the movies about the deep sea and jellyfish. He even asked the marine biologist: "Is it dangerous to work with jellyfish?" To which he was told, "Some are poisonous, some are not, and we are always very careful."
Aidan and I eventually made our way to a Thai restaurant, where we ordered, and waited for Daddy and Zoe to show up. After making a huge mess at this lovely estalishment, we went back to the aquarium, and actually got to see the octapus exhibit, AS A FAMILY: the first time, in two days, that we had done something that wasn't related to eating, cleaning, sleeping, and driving. Then, we drove home. Both A & Z were fast asleep, even through the hails along Highway 17.
We are so happy to be home... And yes, we have been reading Dr. Seuss.
What? You want to see actual pictures of us having fun? That will have to wait, for Hubby to do his magic with the photos.
Monday, January 21, 2008
My Digital Life is Complicated...
It has become obvious in the last few days, that my digital life is just too complicated. And I am not even on the dating scene anymore. According to The Wall Street Journal, there are websites where one can vent about a bad girl/boyfriend... That, would complicate one's life considerably.For now, I don't have a facebook account either- partly worried about privacy issues, yet really want to spy on my high school classmates.
Anyway, this had been complicated for a long time. When I graduated from college, I said good-bye to nearly 1000 e mails Hubby and I had exchanged, there was just no good way to download them quickly. You would think I would have figured out a good way to solve this problem in med school...but no. There was no such thing as google back then, and to keep a Four years later, I again, said good-bye to at least another 1000 e mails between the two of us. Maybe this was a good thing, since we had a lot of e mail 'confrontations' during the first two years. Most of me threatening, "Marry me, or break up with me! Stop wasting my time!"
And now, my blogs...
So, the solution is this, to keep up with xanga but post the same post on blogger- that way, what I have here lives on, but I can have some sort of organization to this madness, as well as a user name that correctly reflects my motherhood status. That address, is, http://www.theadventuresofaandz.blogspot.com
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Time to Switch?
I suppose it is time to figure out what to do about my blogging- I can't go on forever blogging here, as aidansmom, since Zoe has been with us for nearly 10 months. Time to move, or make Xanga give me a new log-on name. If only I had more foresight when I started blogging, but I guess at the time, I really thought we would be done with one child.What if I switch, and then, we have another baby?
Anyway, I am now investigating various options, mostly likely though, I will be moving, to blogspot. You can't beat the Google technology, to be able to tag each post, for ease of searching later.
Any thoughts?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Buying Stuff
Then there is keeping everyone clothed. For some reason, my clothes pre-Zoe all fit rather strangely. The pants are too big, too short, the sweaters, too small, too short. Then there are the shoes- my feet are now wide, but smaller. Hubby is also shrinking. At least the children are growing, with certainty.
This afternoon, I went to the mall to return these lovely boots Hubby and given me for Christmas- because the calf circumference was just too big. Very sad. As it turned out, I could not find any that would fit me properly. Of course, as luck would have it, in my zealous plot to rid of my house of extra stuff, I had already given away my previous pair, the pair that had just the right fit for my calves, but the foot bed itself was too big. I might just have to do without boots for a while...
I was also hunting for a wallet for a little boy. You would think this would be a widely carried item- I wasn't even all that picky, pretty much anything would do just fine. I have memories of all the guys from junior high and high school, who had these nylon velcro things, you know exactly what I am talking about, right? Alas, no luck at Mervyn's (they had these scary ones with metal studs, I am not raising a gang banger), The Hello Kitty Store (that store is for girls, girls, and more girls, nothing for a little boy, AT ALL!) Gymboree, Macy's, The Disney Store (they have wallets for back-to-school, but apparently, the rest of the year, boys don't need to carry money), and none at Sear's either. I finally headed into Nordstrom- do I really want to spend top dollar for a wallet? Nonetheless, I was willing to pay $26 just to end this misery of trekking all around the mall. To my credit, it came with a very nice hat, and, the wallet has a compartment for coins, pictures, ID...etc. It is kind of ridiculous, that I spent 5 weeks worth of allowance on something for Aidan to keep his allowance in. Anyway, the young man has acquired 2 cool things with his own $. Meanwhile, it is daily topic to discuss how long it would take him to save for what he really desires: more Lego sets. I have also been telling him that there are things that Mommy would love to have, like a big house, but since it would take way too long to save for that, Mommy just has given up. Perhaps I need to give him loans, neg-am, establish his credit rating, collect collaterals...etc. Maybe in a few years.
I also broke a records today: I ran my dishwasher twice. After dinner, I found myself putting away 28 pieces of stuff into the dishwasher. TWENTY-EIGHT. For 4 people. Just what are we doing, I am not sure.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Absolutely No Good News Here
There is just no good news here today. NONE. WHATSOEVER.
Zoe started having a runny nose yesterday, Aidan and I had been sneezing since this morning. I used up a box of tissues at work already. And it is only noon. This would be cold #4 for Zoe since she was born. Hubby is still coughing from Christmas.
I was going to stay home with Zoe today, cancel all my patients, but alas, I showed up to work, just so I don't have to reschedule everyone.
My clinic patients, are coming to see me, at random times. People! This is not urgent care, it is not an emergency room. You don't just drop in to see me on a Tuesday morning. You come when you have an appointment, one that you and I agreed to together during your last visit. If you can't make it, you have two very good options.
1. Call me, cancel your existing appointment, and reschedule.
2. Come to drop-in clinic. It is on Tuesday afternoons, from 1 -3 PM. It says so on my voice mail.
Don't tell me you 'don't have the phone number.' You are not suppose to have my direct phone number, because you don't need it. Talk to the receptionist at clinic. She has my schedule (and therefore, your schedule.) Also, I am not here on Wednesdays, so don't leave a voice mail volunteering to meet on a Wednesday. My outgoing message also says that I am not here on Wednesdays. You can't just drop in, and expect that I am free and ready and available to see you.
If I wanted to do that, I would be working at an emergency room. (And people wait for a few hours, even at the emergency room, unless you are having a stroke, missing a limb...)
Alas, my drop in clinic is starting in 35 minutes, and I have 8 phone calls to return...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
This is taking a VERY LONG TIME!
Whenever Aidan is told that he needs to wait for something, he says, "This is taking a very long time!" That sums up my feelings about photo editing.When I 'photo edit' in the days that I used to have this responsibility in our household, I would crop it, click the button that says, "red-eye removal", then the button that says, "sharpen image", maybe choose sepia, you know, for that artistic look, and in less than a minute, voila! My photo is edited.
In the last few years, since Hubby took over this 'domestic task,' since he is much better versed in photo editing, it takes more than one minute, and to me, THAT IS A LONG TIME!
What does he do? First, the pictures are not even in the format that I know of, and since we are faithful Apple computer users, the photos are not uploaded into iPhoto. It goes somewhere else, and then Hubby can make my hair lie flat (with the postpartum growth, this is no small task), he makes the kids 'snot less,' again, with this winter cold/flu season, not a small task. (He can also make my arms less old-woman-looking, if you know what I mean.) He spends a lot of time making the colors just right. So much so, that we have this thing called a "color Spyder", that calibrates the colors of the computer, so that you know you are getting a true RED when your heart desires RED. The lighting is often enhanced, and everything well, looks so much more alive.
Why am I writing about this today? Well, we just swapped out our wall hangings! We have three 16x20 frames in our living room, and for the last three years, they were photos of us and Aidan. Well, Zoe is 9 months old, and finally, Hubby and I are satisfied with the three photos (no small feat, considering how we were going for a certain 'look'), and they are edited, printed on heavy photo paper by professional people (no more Kodak Gallery for me! In comparison, Kodak's papers are so cheap looking...) the photos are amazingly edited, and we are very happy with them.
You wanna see them? Well, come over! I am getting really good at getting take-out to host our friends! And meanwhile, the Phat Photographer, at http://www.phatbabyphotography.com is having a special event. For the first 5 bookings of this year, there is a 25% discount with the purchase of a package including an album.
I am so excited, that Hubby is making an album for me! I can't wait. He made an album for our friends/new customers recently, and man, I was jealous when it arrived. Leather bound, a really spiffy case, heavy paper, photos layered just right, it is the stuff that dreams are made of! Forget scrapbooking- papers and scissors will never make things look this good. I wanted him to redo our wedding album, make an album for each year we've been married, and beyond. The bummer thing is, being married to the Phat Photographer only gets me so far, or rather, since there are LOTS of things I need him to do for me (like removing a dead rat's carcass- which deserves another entry for another time), I have to prioritize- so, for now, we are doing an album, just in time for Aidan to turn 4 and Zoe to turn 1.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
-
Questions from My Readers
One of my faithful readers, asked me these questions this past week.
What exactly, are the differences between a psychologist and a psychiatrist?
A psychiatrist is someone with a medical degree, with a year of internship, usually a mix of internal medicine and neurology, then three more years of residency training, solely in psychiatry. The psychiatry residency includes rotations in general adults, emergency, geriatrics, consultation-liason, child-adolescent, addiction, and forensics. Additional fellowships, typically one to two more years, are available in geriatrics, consultation-liason, child-adolescent, addiction, forensics. A psychiatrist holds a medical license, can be board certified, has the ability to prescribe medications, and are also able to do 'talk therapy.' Some psychiatrists, after practicing a few years, choose to go on to train at various psychoanalytic institutes, where they are trained in psychoanalysis.
A psychologist holds either a Ph.D. in psychology, or a Psy. D. A Ph.D. program tends to be more research oriented, most of these Ph.D. folks go on to academic careers. A Psy. D. program tends to be more clinical in its training. A doctorate typically takes four years after college. During that time, students do various internships, they are called 'pre-doc', or 'post-doc' depending if they have been given the degree or not. These programs also usually require some kind of dissertation. Typically, students pick a specific area to concentrate in, such as neuropsychiatric testing, cognitive behavioral therapy...etc. They are also licensed, after they receive a certain number of clinical hours.
I referred to 'talk therapy' earlier, because when there is 'talk therapy', there are many different kinds. Cognitive behavioral therapy was quite in vogue a few years ago, there is also dialectical behavioral therapy, supportive therapy...etc. There are also various thoughts in therapy, such as Freudian, Jungian, Kohutian, Lacanian...etc. These days, most therapists define themselves as 'eclectic.'
For a complete discussion of various kinds of therapists, then there are marriage family therapists, licensed clinical social workers, and nurse practitioners, who are licensed, at a master degree level, who do therapy. Usually, based on their training, they have a specific way of making formulations.
A question came up about this article, http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/10/do-you-lie-to-your-therapist/index.html?hp
Why do people lie to their therapists?
I assume what people tell me are true, usually. But I also collect my own data. I make some assumptions about people, until I am proven wrong. As I am typing this, I am realizing I sound like Dr. House... Alas I digress. Back to the topic. Another important aspect of the therapeutic relationship is that, during the session, my relationship with my patient mirrors his/her relationship with his/her world. How a patient relates to me, gives me clues about how they relate to the world, and why they are seeing me. It is sort of like, 'here is a playroom, let me see how you play.' I can only imagine then, when a patient feels compelled to lie to me, how burdened they must feel and most likely, they also lead a fabricated life in the 'real world.'
Don't worry about shocking your therapist- like I have alluded to previously, I have heard it all. Remember, there is nothing new under the sun. -
My Favorite Movie
Last night, Hubby and I enjoyed my favorite movie again. Love Actually. I love the British humor, the way they swear, yet sound so sophisticated, and of course, the subject matter is so sweet. We watch this movie every holiday season- but somehow, this year, we didn't get a chance in December. The couple I enjoy the most is Jamie and Aurelia. I love how they 'talk' while speaking two different languages- perhaps I like it because I am trying to teach my children the value of speaking two languages.
So, I got my Amazon order of the Chinese DVDs, DVDs about this panda, Bao Bai. I was not impressed, AT ALL. It was essentially a Baby Einstein movie, in both Chinese and English. Aidan wasn't that interested either. The subject of bilingual education is still a hot topic in this house- in case my dilemma about where to send Aidan to school wasn't complicated enough, I added the option of immersion programs. And of course, what language to immerse Aidan in- Mandarin or Spanish?
I have decided against the public school program for Spanish immersion in our district- the testing scores seemed subpar and anecdotally, I read about some rather unimpressive results, mainly, that someone who went through this immersion program had difficulty writing at his grade level. If nothing else, Aidan and Zoe need to be able to write! The options then, include the following,
1. Move somewhere that has better public school immersion programs, either Spanish or Mandarin.
2. Private school immersion: Mandarin vs. French.
I doubt we will move for another school district- I like where we live now, I like the convenience, being close to Hubby's father, and the number one reason: we don't want to spend a fortune buying a new house, and the expenses that come with that.
As for private schools, I still don't know if Aidan needs private schooling, and if he is suitable for immersion programs. Any insights?
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Ice-Skating!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Finding a Table
I met up with my college friend, Lauren, who is working at G.o.o.g.l.e. (I had to code that, you know, in case the G.o.o.g.l.e. search engine finds me, and decides to crack down on freeloaders...) at their very fancy corporate cafeteria.Man, it was like were were back in college! We had a big tray, we stood in lines, we took more food than we could eat, and stood around looking for an empty table. And because we ate at the engineering building, it was like we were eating at Platt (the dinning hall of Harvey Mudd College- although there were no unicyclers.) It was so fun!
I miss those college days, someone cooked for me, maybe not good food, but food nonetheless. I slept whenever I wanted, studied whenever, and hung out with my friends! It seemed like these Googlers were having fun too- I wondered when they actually did work, since at 11:30, the dinning hall was very busy. (Again, just like college, people like to eat early.)
That made me rather sad about my current employer. There is no free food. None. Never. Nada. If someone is retiring, you have to pay to go to the party. The 'perk' that I have is that on Fridays, the clinic has a social center for patients, and they sell soft drinks for 50 cents! FIFTY CENTS! I get so excited that I buy two cans, then I scurry around to try to find a fridge, and keep my drink safe, because who wants a warm soda, and definitely need to make sure my soda doesn't 'walk away.' So, it is pretty pathetic...
When I was working at The Expensive/Top Ranked Private University in Palo Alto, I told my peers that I was pregnant- they were sad that I was moving on to my next rotation before I was pregnant enough to warrant a shower, because, they have a budget for showers/parties, and they were looking for a reason to have a party!
Maybe I will get Hubby to give me free food, free drinks, or something.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Show Me the MONEY!
How do we teach our children to be financially responsible? How do we make them realize that money will never fall from a tree, that IPOs are not to be counted on, that, they will one day, have to support themselves, and in Aidan's case, buy a bus and support for the six kids he wants to have?I grew up without an allowance, whatever funds I needed, I just asked my mom, and her response was, "go get it from my purse." I also took on whatever jobs came my way- I tutored some kids who needed to learn English. I got to give them vocabulary lists, quizzed them...etc. I also tutored some kids in MATH. That was the most ridiculous thing EVER, since I could not tell you anything I learned beyond Algebra II. I played the piano accompaniment for some violin recitals- some kids played weird Chinese violin pieces, rather melancholic, and somewhat not fitting the Western tonal system, but I improvised random piano music to go with that. Anyway, I made money whenever I could.
It was quite inconvenient to go to college, and be too young to get a credit card. The day I turned 18, I called 1-800-DISCOVER. It never occurred to me that I could ask my parents to let me tag onto their credit cards. I also had this weird credit card in college, that gave me points to buy a GM car. Dude, why would I ever want to buy a GM car?! During my college years, I had the option of making some $ from 'work study.' I found jobs that would let me study, and do very little work, like, sitting at the music library from 1-5 on Sunday afternoons. It was deemed unsafe for 1 student, and since I went to an all-women school, 1 woman, to sit at the library, alone. Therefore, 2 women were assigned to this 'job.' I sat there, either with Esther or Joyce, every Sunday, for YEARS. I also had a job of sitting at the reception desk of dorms. To do what? I still don't know. But hey, I got to eat lunch, chat with people, and occasionally, studied something or other. My more productive jobs included being a teaching assistant for chemistry labs. There was another job, where I was the designated 'chemistry tutor' and I sat in the lobby of the science building, waited for students to show up and ask chemistry questions. Mostly, I sat there and studied. Alas, I digress.
How do I teach Aidan and Zoe, that they need to go work for their own spending money? I see these teenagers using Coach bags, holding their iPods, and iPhones, and I wonder, did these kids work for these things, or what? If I have to work at $10/hour, I highly doubt I would shell out $200 for a Coach bag, I mean, that would take 20 hours, of tutoring some kid!
We decided to give Aidan $5 each week. In a year, that would amount to $260, which felt like a reasonable amount that we would have spent on toys. For now, we will continue to buy him clothes and food. (I sound like a Grinch!) But as he gets older, if he starts wanting premium jeans, or cavier, he will have to spend his own allowance on the luxury items.
With his first $5, he spent it on a cable car when we were in SF. He had $1 left. He got $5 on Saturday, and he promptly asked that we head to the mall, for the LEGO store!!! The lesson about tithing will have to come later- the children's Sunday School doesn't collect offering until the kindergarten class.
I think, it is going to take a long time, for him to learn to save his money for the bigger sets. But hey, I have 14 years to get this into his head, before he gets his first credit card. Meanwhile, I think he will also learn the pains of paying taxes...
In the spirit of teaching him about money, we also got him a calendar, and a big map. He can check the calendar for his 'pay day' and look at the big map and dream of going to London, to take the train to Paris, and to save for that. Oh wait, that is my dream. I am saving for the next thing, by bringing my own lunch! With brown rice, of course.
Monday, January 07, 2008
-
Sunday School
I am teaching Sunday School for Aidan's class, for a month. YIKES.
Aidan kept asking when I would be his teacher, and under such pressure, I caved. I realized something 1/2 an hour before Sunday School yesterday: I really didn't like being in my mom's class. My mom taught children's choir, Sunday School, Summer Vacation Bible Study...etc. Somehow, these classes usually involved tears for me. I am not sure if it was my mother's high expectations, or my own desire to impress her, that somehow, it all collapsed, and I would just cry.
My goal for this month, therefore, to let Aidan and I both enjoy this opportunity. That Sunday School doesn't need to be a place where I wow him with my teaching abilities, or that he needs to impress me with his listening ears.
We did review some rules.
Indoor voices.
Gentle bodies.
Listening ears.
It was a really fun lesson. As most kids show up midway through church, there were only 2 boys with me, (Aidan and Ethan) for the first 20 minutes. They played for a while, then I asked them to run around, jump up and down, hop like bunnies, slither like a snake, chirp like a bird... Then, another child came with his dad, they walked in, looked at us, and had the expression of, "WHO IS IN CHARGE?! WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS?!" I felt quite sheepish...
The lesson was about Jesus going to temple in Jerusalem, and how Mary and Joseph went looking for him. I had so much fun talking to the kids about learning more about our Father in heaven, listening to their parents on earth, and we talked about growing up, to be more like Christ.
Then we sang. Then my awesome helper, Auntie L, asked the children, "Let's pray! What can we pray for?" Aidan said, "Let's pray for Chi Chi!" Then all the kids started giggling and saying "Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi!" When the parents came, all the children were laughing hysterically and saying, "Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi, Chi Chi!"
The little boy who thought I had lost my mind even asked for a Chi Chi song. I told him that he must return next Sunday to hear the Chi Chi song.
It was so fun.
-
Must Be On Time
It is interesting that I have the job that I do have. I am absolutely neurotic about being on time. As a psychiatrist, I spend a lot of time interpreting people's behaviors, and being late/forgetting something is often interpreted as resistance. For instance, a bride wouldn't forget her wedding, right? If you get to see The Most Amazing Person in the WORLD, you wouldn't forget or be late. Therefore, if something is important enough to you, you would be on time.
So what do I do when I am late for work? It isn't that work is not important to me, it is because I have children.
That didn't use to be a problem, prechildren. I would routinely get to work 10 minutes early. (I went to all my appointments early, actually.) These days, while I cognitively know I can't get to work 10 minutes early, I still wish I could! Then there are days I am late. How sad are those days!!!
I often wonder, what do my patients think about me being late? It really isn't something I could ask, you know. Besides, if I did ask, they always would say, "That is okay, don't worry about it." But you see, that is the polite thing to say! I bet how they are really thinking is, "Lady! Get your act together, and get here on time! How rude!"
On the other hand, when I go see my doctors, I am often kept waiting for at least 15 minutes, if not half an hour. Why do these doctors always run late, I don't know. HOW RUDE!
Some peole are shocked to learn that I am usually right on time for my patients. I like being on time. I despise falling behind...
Therefore, I did everything I could to get my children born on their due dates! Ha!
Saturday, January 05, 2008
So anyway, Aidan very much loved his king sized bed. And Zoe was just so tasty!
I also came across pictures that we took two years ago. Aidan still looked like such a baby! Even back then, he loved Lego! (I guess I just have another year of watching Zoe like a hawk to be sure she doesn't eat Lego! Then I will be free of choking fears!)
Friday, January 04, 2008
Minutia
While I am studying, I am coming across all sorts of interesting facts that ought to be shared.
I am reviewing the 1000 questions that THE Massachusetts General Hospital thought psychiatrists ought to know. It is an interesting book, actually, the questions are sort of grouped together by topic, but the questions are not really separated out, so while I think I am still reviewing neuroimaging, the next subject comes right at me: Sexual Disorders.
Did you know about HALF of american couples suffer from some type of sexual problem?
Or that premature ejaculation is defined as ejaculation occurs in less than 2 minutes with less than 10 thrusts? (That is awfully SPECIFIC!)
Or that between 15-30% of men, of all ages, experence erectile dysfunction?
That is WHOLE LOT of people!
Then there is this, nocturnal penile tumescence occurs about every 90 minutes during REM sleep. That is whole lot of tumescences!
It is quite clear that I don't discuss sex quite enough with my patients. I should be mindful and make this a new year's resolution: More talks about sex. I can already see it, when A&Z are older, they will say, "MOM! That is so embarrassing. I don't want to hear about sex anymore! Why do you always talk about it?" Or worse, their spouses will say, "Your mother is weird." Maybe I should prepare my sex talks in Chinese too!
Thursday, January 03, 2008
An Update on My Resolutions
The new year is 3 days old, and man, my resolutions are difficult to keep.
We are still eating brown rice/whole wheat pasta. Although, brown rice doesn't clump as much as Asian white rice, so it is more difficult for children to eat neatly, not that children are capable of eating white rice neatly. For that matter, maybe it has to do with the fact that we eat rice from a plate. Alas, I digress. Maybe another resolution is to use my rice bowls and eat out of them.
Speaking Mandarin to my kids- NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE. Aidan decided to ignore me half of the time.
Me (In Mandarin): "Who should be dropped off first? Aidan? Or Zoe?"
A: (silent)
Me (In Mandarin): "Hmm, I wonder if Aidan wants to go first? Or Zoe?"
A (In English): "Sure Mom. OK."
Or This
Me (In Mandarin, reading stories, translating on a whim): "We are going to learn about BIG machines doing BIG jobs."
A (In English): "NO MOM! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I DON'T WANT CHINESE! I WANT ENGLAND!"
Perhaps, in his mind, thinking, "GIVE ME REDCOATS! Give me English or give me death!"
I was so frustrated about it all last night. Why am I doing this to myself? Who really cares that they don't speak Mandarin? When we are in heaven, there won't be a thing called language! I realized that part of this is driven by guilt, that somehow, real or projected, I feel that our families sort of frown upon our monolingual English speaking kids, and that by not teaching them, A&Z are not getting ahead in the BIG BIG world that Chinese people populate so much of.
It also isn't just about learning Chinese. It is about me teaching them, or finding people, to teach them stuff. We already took a hiatus from swimming. If I stop Chinese, would we be quitters? What will happen when we start music lessons...I dread the day that starts. If that day starts at all. But if that doesn't start, the guilt.
I was ready to call it quits. Then, I realized this: I just need to find the right mechanism- like TV! DVD! COMPUTER GAMES! I must find Chinese books about firetrucks. So far, I am ordering a few DVDs from Amazon about some Mandarin speaking panda bear. There shall be another update in a few weeks about this.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
New Year Resolutions
I have been thinking about my/our resolutions since Thanksgiving.1. Switch to brown rice, for its lower glycemic index, the nutrition. I remember when my mom switched to brown rice when I was in elementary school- we all protested! What is this brown stuff? GROSS! I therefore prepared myself for Aidan's protestations. However, he said, "Look! It is brown! Yum!" I suppose he really goes for the 'nutty flavor.'
2. Switch to whole grain pasta- there is a theme here. Again, I had tried this previously. When I tried it once last year, I thought I was eating card board. But now that I am in my 30's, I have to seize the moment!
3. Speak Mandarin to my kids, exclusively, when we are alone, sans Hubby. I haven't tried this yet, since Hubby is home with us today. I anticipate some unhappy, unhappy customers. However, when my sister and I went to school to pick Aidan up yesterday, we found him playing with some Spanish computer games. If this child can love a language that he doesn't hear consistently, surely, he can learn to tolerate Mandarin- I mean, it will be uttered from his MOM with LOVE! Perhaps the key is to get Spanish computer games?
4. Eat out less. The benefits are countless. However, that means I have to cook/clean up more. We talked about setting a limit, at least once a week, maybe twice a week, definitely need to keep this less than 10% of all the meals we eat together as a family. We will have to see how long this lasts.
5. To make this a household of grace- Jesus already died for me, so surely I can be sacrificial for my family, right?
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment