The Adventures of Aidan and Zoe

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Spring Bug

Thankfully, no, we are not ill. The bug I am talking about, is the kind of bug I catch every spring: that I want to spiff up our home. This year's bug shows up by initiating the reorganization of our pantry. And it is taking me places.

In the years past, the bug had led us to put in two built-in shelves, replacing the laminate flooring, recessed lights...etc. Hubby jokes that if we ever sell our place, we will end up describing a home with built-in shelves in every single room. He is absolutely right! At the pace we are going, we will have built-in bookshelves everywhere, even the bathroom. I mean, people love to read in the bathrooms, right? So you gotta have a bookshelf there!

Meanwhile, I have been looking at my porn. (Ha! Made you look.) Even if we are not buying, it is fun to look, and get ideas about how to maximize storage in our house. Last night, I found my dream house: The description said, "Extra Storage!"

Here is my to do list for our place this spring:

New paint job- With all that humidifier usage this winter, we seem to be growing mold... As much as I try to rub bleach on these pesky spots, I keep thinking TOXIC MOLD! This one is fairly urgent.
New interior doors- The doors are originals from about 40 years ago...
The Front exterior door- Our home owners' association really wants us to paint it green, we like it white, and it has been disputed for the entire time we have lived here. Still debating about getting a new door.
Cement in the patio- Since we don't have a backyard, this little patch of a patio is our usage outdoor space. It would be nice to get it all flat, weed free, and imagine, Aidan out there, drawing with his chalk for hours and hours.
Storage unit in the kitchen- Sort of debating putting in more built-in cabinet in the kitchen, or getting a buffet and hutch.

I don't know where I am going to find time to do this, or rather, these projects would be REALLY good procrastinating tools, like this blog...

BTW, if anyone has recommendations for good cement people, painters, door people, let me know!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Storage

I was getting totally overwhelmed by our stuff again this week. As Hubby and I parted on Friday, I said, "we need to do something about your purses." I spent a good chunk of the day mulling over about his purses. As his photography skills/business expanded, he had acquired more bags than imaginable. Something to carry all the goodies, (and one NEEDS these goodies, apparently, for the proper lighting, the lenses, and whatever else he carries with him...) and these goodies had been sitting around my house, without a proper home, for AGES.



Of course, the obvious solution was to buy a bigger house- but of course, that would take a very long time, time to sell our house, buy a new one, not to mention finding funds for the new house, property taxes...etc. So, I thought, let's put it all in the garage. Hubby didn't think of that idea too fondly. I know, we are so spoiled. Our garage is a detached garage, and so it feels like one is being banished when one's stuff is stored in the garage.

Then, in a stroke of genius, "I can make space in our pantry, I just need to stock less food!" How practical is that! I don't hoard food, Hubby has storage space, and it doesn't involve an agent. Brilliant.
Hubby jokes that most women beautify their homes, I just try to maximize storage. I have new plans for my kitchen.







Just as I am about to post the above picture, Hubby said, "Don't you think the picture is a little underexposed? You need better lighting." Ha, ha, ha. He is just SO funny.

Friday, March 28, 2008

• TGIF!

  I don't know how my days go by so quickly...actually, I do know where my time goes, it just befuddles me how the passage of time happens so slowly, yet so quickly at the same time.
  
  Hubby has been working on his website again, I guess refinement is the core of an artist's soul. Or something.
  
  Check out the new photograph albums. Taking these photos involved using shower curtains, and Hubby has never been so pleased to find that we have two spare shower curtains around. Shopping in bulk works!
  
  

• Zoe is ONE!

  Happy Birthday to Zoe!
  
  We cannot believe she is one year old. Her first year had gone by so much more quickly than Aidan's first year. When I was a first time mother, I felt like I was tending to a really fragile plant: that most of the time, it was like watching grass grow. As a mother of two, there had been no such thing as waiting for children to grow up- they just ARE growing up, whether I am ready for the day to be over or not.
  
  I found this to do list in my pile a few weeks ago- I had taken a whole month off before Zoe was born, because I knew, there would never be a time like that again. I had a lot on the agenda:
  
  get glasses
  smog check Hubby's car
  rotate my tires
  get new roller shades for all the bedroom windows
  finish charts at the hospital
  catch up on scrap booking
  call Todd
  get table lamp
  
  Well, my contractions started while Aidan and I were at Home Depot getting those roller shades cut. Good thing I had called Todd- I changed jobs while on maternity leave, and he is now my boss. The only thing that didn't get done, was this scrap booking. In this past year, there had not been any scrap booking whatsoever. We never even did Zoe's new born hand prints... oops.
  
  But she is one!
  
  While she looks just like Aidan, she is her own person. She really likes tags, but loves water more, to drink, in particular. She likes to check out shoes, and always wants to watch me cook. She helps me by carrying her own lunch sack home (while I carry her in the Baby Bjorn, facing out.) She likes to snuggle before bed, but tells me that she is done snuggling by throwing her body toward her crib. She loves to read, and finds her brother to be the best entertainment ever. She hardly cries, but will give you a piece of her mind when she is scared (esp by loud noises, which is hard, being that she lives in the same house as a four year old boy,) super tired, or being dropped off somewhere. She loves to sleep with her doll, and will hold her doll's hands while she sleeps.
  
  She doesn't like ice-cream, however. We offered her ice-cream as her birthday treat. She tried one bite, spit it out, checked it out in her hands, then refused the rest. She resumed eating mangoes while we ate the ice-cream.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Happy Anniversary!

We celebrated our 8 year anniversary today. Lucky for me, our anniversary fell on a Wednesday- my day away from the office. So, I had a chance to catch up on all sorts of things- since everyone had been so sick, I hadn't been to Target in a month (the horror!). Anyway, I bought necessities: like socks for Zoe, storage bins, birthday gifts...etc. I also got to meet up with a colleague from private practice and a former supervisor. I love, LOVE, meeting with former supervisors- they are like my work 'parents'- since they are all very well established, it is good to talk about the woes of starting out, what to do, what NOT to do, and basically, to not be lonely professionally.

After I picked up the kids, we came home, I fed Zoe dinner, and bathed Zoe, Aidan, and Daddy too. (Hubby ran to work and back today- not that he needed help getting clean, but you know, THREE people were in the tub at the same time.) My neighbor/colleague (good to live close to friends!) came by as Zoe slept, and Aidan, Hubby and I went out to dinner. Aidan could hardly wait to eat sushi, we kept joking with him, "Hey, let's not go get sushi, let's go get ice-cream!" And he would yell in the car, "NO!!! We are going to eat sushi!" He ate so much. Then, he said,

Aidan: "The aversy is taking a very long time."

Me: "The aversy? What is the aversy?"

Aidan (mouth full of salmon roll), "The AVERSY!"

Hubby: "Try saying it another way."

Aidan (with tears now): "THE AVERSY! TAKING A LONG TIME!" (Then he proceeded to melt down...)

Hubby: "Aidan, eat your food, calm down, and we will try again."

After five minutes of this, Hubby took Aidan outside to figure this out.

They came back,

Hubby: "He thought we are celebrating our anniversary with Anna and Steve!"
Apparently, for a little guy who had not celebrated an anniversary with us, and not having one of his own, what an anniversary sounds like, would be our friends, Anna and Steve, in his cute little mind.

Aidan: "Anna and Steve!"

Hubby: "He thought that they are very late."

Later, Hubby told me that it took a very long time, to make all the associations...

Well, 8 years ago, I would not have imagined that we would have two kids... But I think, the above incident pretty much summed up why Hubby is my soul mate: He is far more patient, merciful, gracious, and loving, than me.

Happy Anniversary, Hubby!





And Anna and Steve- your presence has been requested!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

My Systems

A month ago, I switched my laundry systems. I now am the proud owner of 3 kinds of laundry:

Whites, Darks, and Delicates. Anything I don't want to go into the dryer goes in the Delicates bin. So far, everything is good. Aidan continues to earn his dollar by sorting laundry and putting his own stuff away. Although, on Sunday, he said that his best friend, Vincent, and he had discussed it, and the fee, really, would be two dollars. I told him that when I no longer needed to lift any fingers about laundry, he can have two bucks.

It got me thinking, would my laundry be more manageable if I did laundry by the rooms where they eventually need to go to, and eliminate the sorting step? I wouldn't keep their laundry separated by darks vs. whites- because, I just don't care enough. However, once I saw Zoe's shirt post dinner, and all the food gobs on it, that to keep that around until there is enough to do a load just for her, would be inviting ants to live at my house.

So that system stands.

Meanwhile, I can't figure out what would make my life easier, to pack four lunches in the evening, or in the morning while we eat breakfast.

If I do it all in the evening, including the packing, labeling (everything needs a date- and Zoe, who currently uses about 6 containers, it is a lot of taping. Actually, everything has her assigned color tape, red, her name, on all the pieces, meaning, the cap, the bottle, the nipple ring, the lid, the actual container...) it just takes a long time. And, I really don't have enough bottles/containers for 2 days at a time, so I need to wait for the dish washer to finish, and by then, I am already doing something else, ideally, studying. I suppose I can go buy more bottles, containers, and all that, but I just don't want to store them.

If I do it in the morning, it is just hectic. No more words would be necessary for this.

So I end up splitting this task. Everyone's solid food gets packed in the evening. And I finish up Zoe's bottles in the morning. And I tape everything in the morning. And boy oh boy, it would be helpful to have more hands.

Today's menu:

Hubby: Pasta, salmon, green beans, fruit. (2 pieces of plastic.)

Mine: Dim sum (from the freezer), yogurt, and carrots. (4 pieces of plastic.)

Aidan: Pasta, salmon, green beans, jello, fruit. (4 pieces of plastic.)

Zoe: 2 bottles, sweet potatoes, salmon, avocado, yogurt. (14 pieces of plastic.)

And all this comes back in the evening. I suppose I handle about 48 pieces of plastic just to pack and unpack lunches. Let's not count the breakfast and dinner c.r.a.p.

So it is a slow day here, for me to be yapping about plastic.

Or we could talk about child abuse. Did you know that the government figures at least1.4 million children are being abused as we speak? That neglect accounts for about 60% of these cases? And get this, about 4000-5000 children DIE every year due to neglect/abuse. That is MORE than the US soldiers fatalities in Iraq in the last five years...

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Photographs

Here is the link to the photographs from our party. The funny thing is, while Hubby is a photographer, we don't really get good pictures at parties- because he is busy watching the kids, talking to friends, and he already doesn't eat when we are at a party, (our own or otherwise) so there just isn't time for photos. At Aidan's red egg party, we walked away with TWO photographs of us. Just two. Both blurry. Oh well. We are doing better, that there is actually a link possible.

Hubby had a photo shoot this Saturday AM, fortunately for me, it was with a working mother's family- therefore, they actually wanted to take photos bright and early. Hubby got home by 10:30- and I was passed out on the couch. You see, I had gone to bed at 9 pm on Friday night, got up at 7 am on Saturday morning. I napped on the couch from 10:30 until noon. Then napped again from 2-4. Hubby said to me at 5 pm, "I really have not seen you all day. You were here, but not really."

I then went to bed around 10:30, got up at 7 this morning. Took a nap from 1 until 3. I kind of feel like a new woman, but still, SO TIRED. Aidan and Zoe had both gotten better, although Aidan had been coughing so much, that he ruptured some capillaries in his right eye, medially. Sad, sad, sad. I am still not 100% my usual productive, awake self, but still, much better after I started myself on some trusted azithromycin.

You see, on Friday morning, as I drove to work, I decided my cold had evolved into a cold and sinusitis. Maxillary sinusitis. I called the pharmacy I use frequently for my patients, and got myself a 'Z Pak.' First line treatment for sinusitis is actually Augmentin, but seriously, I would be fooling myself to think that I would be compliant to THREE times a day dosing. HA! Forget that. Better to actually take the medications. So, I moved on to once a day azithromycin. Lucky for me, it had gone generic, so it was just a few bucks. Also, the beauty of azithromycin (Zithromax) can be completed either in a 5 day course, or a 3 day course. Obviously, I chose the 3 day course. If the DEA is reading this, know that I did write a progress note, and properly documented all the reasons why I needed this.

Alas, I totally digressed. I had wanted to talk about Hubby's photography session- I always ask him after a photo shoot: "Did you earn your fees?" Once upon a time, a supervisor told me, that after I see a patient, I need to ask myself, "Was that help really worth $whatever-amount-they-paid?" "Did you actually earn your money?" While my work allowed me to go back and fix various issues for the better, (thus, a practice), Hubby's photos shoots...no such things as do-overs.

I love to look at the raw files of his work, and, I love providing 'consultations' for him: You should crop it this way, high light this, use that picture of this setting...etc. Actually, I think he likes my opinions, it is sort of like getting new glasses: "Do you like this one? Or this one?" (Since there are multiples of similar things.) This 'consultation' work gives me a creative outlet, without having to deal with these kids...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Update

Well, we are still all quite sick, one way or another. I am so tired that I am sort of delirious.

Me: "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah..."
Hubby: "Who are you talking to? Me or Aidan?"
Me: "I don't know, tell me what I said and I will tell you which of you I was talking to."

It is does not look good for our heroine.

Aidan is now on 3 different kinds of medications.
Zoe seems to be on the up swing.
Hubby is dead tired from doing a 40 hour trip to Kentucky.
I am just turning into a big blob.

I can't believe tomorrow is still a 'work' day- I wonder if either one of us will make it to work.

The good news though, is that Zoe is totally walking independently now. She has been cruising for MONTHS and sneaking in a step here and a step there. Last night, after dinner, she just walked into the kitchen, and looked so proud of herself. My life, on the other hand, is completely over, now that I have two kids who walk. But I guess it isn't as over as it will be, when I will have two kids who both talk.

By the way, these children of ours, seem to be genetically programmed to walk about 1 week before they turn one. Aidan did this, and Zoe too!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

How Long Will This Last?

So Aidan hadn't felt so great since last Friday, and today, at 3:24 pm, I got the phone call: "Aidan needed to be picked up as soon as possible." G.R.E.A.T.

We got home at 4, it was just us, for the next 30 hours: Daddy took off this morning for a business trip. The plan, was that I would be on my own this evening, then tomorrow, they would be at school, I would resume studying for Boards, and get them, feed, them, bed them, and Hubby would be home. Well, no such thing.

The big dilemma these days, is that when one child is ill, what do I do about the well child? Do I drive him/her in anyway, or simply save gas and 'energy' and keep everyone home. Hmm.

The 'funny' thing was, after we got home, Aidan seemed fine, not completely fine, since he had a low grade fever and a cough, but he played on his own, ran around, ate a great sushi dinner, and loved his story time anyway. We also had a phone conference with Daddy for a while. Hubby suggested that I would take Zoe in anyway, and spend a day with Aidan- since we already paid their tuitions, might as well make it a 'special' day with Aidan. True. Remember, I am a terrific mother with one.

Still, I feel really guilty sending Zoe to school. Nonetheless, her lunch is PACKED!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

What Really Happened

We had a big party of A&Z, to celebrate their birthdays, and Zoe's baptism. It was amazing that we survived... given how we had all been so sick, overwhelmed with work and the movie production...etc.

We were determined to have a good time anyway, and were so excited when the jump house was delivered on time.



We then left for church. While we were in the midst of worship, Hubby and I swapped children, and upon holding Zoe, boy, she needed a new diaper! Since I didn't like to carry purses/diaper bags... the nearest clean diaper was in the CAR. I grabbed her, ran like a jaguar, retrieved the bag, changed her as quickly as I could, and made it back to the worship just in time to put on her shoes and walk up to the pulpit. Phew.

She did great. Aidan did great. My worst fears of fidgety children, screaming children, didn't come true. Praise God. It was also fun to share this day with Mei's family.



Right after the sermon, we made a bee-line home. Zoe took a brief nap in the car, and we were ready to party...or were we. Aidan didn't look particularly thrilled, and was as limp as a candle on a hot day, then we ended up putting him down for a quick nap. He didn't even argue... Zoe had a good time eating and playing. Here is a picture of her with Teacher Judy, her teacher for next year.



We got Aidan up for the finale- Zoe picked a career in music (per this weird Chinese tradition, where infants are given choices of a few careers symbolized by various objects...) And we had cake.


That was pretty much it...except for the 'slurppy' incidence. While I was talking with various guests, one of the fathers came up to me and asked for a BIG bowl. WHAT?! A BIG BOWL? He explained that one of the children, while jumping in the jump house had vomited...and he needed a big bowl to take water outside to rinse it off. GOOD GRIEF. Then, another father came up and said, "Yeah, I thought someone spilled a slurppy, then I saw this kid stuck his head out and kept going." F.A.N.T.A.S.T.I.C. To be considerate, I won't reveal which kid did the deed. However, that family quickly went home. Bummer, for that kid, for us, and for all the children. Fortunately, no one else vomited.

I think this will be it, for our big festivities. With two kids now, there are simply way too many variables, and also, most of our friends are now onto at least 1 child, if not multiples, and life is just way too full. And too many kids are sick too often... We had about five families who canceled that morning due to various ailments. Yikes.

The awesome part, was that this was also a food drive for 2nd Harvest. Our goal of filling 3 huge barrels was easily achieved- it was awesome. And, we loved teaching Aidan a lesson about being good stewards. Of course, he found a can of guava juice, and asked to keep it. It was a delicious can of guava juice!

Monday, March 17, 2008

General Maintenance

So if you are reading this, you obviously had to log on to Xanga.

I had to change the access, because, with the upload of the videos, it totally gave away where we live, our last name, and all that 'personal stuff.' Hubby offered to change the videos, but I thought, that would be too much work, and uploading them AGAIN to xanga would just kill me. So, now, I can 'track' who reads this better. Safer, for everyone, probably.

Meanwhile, people have asked me, 'how do I find so much time to blog?' It occured to me recently, the reason I blog, is because there is not much space in my life where I can rant about my life. For instance, for most people, they socialize at work. At my work, I open my door, a patient comes in, that patient leaves, the next one comes in. I see my colleagues through out the day, but nearly always about a patient or just in passing. While I have made some awesome friends at work, we can only catch up when someone has a no-show. On rainy days, we get lots of these, but not so much anymore... I also don't talk anything but how the patient is doing when I see patients, so whereas when I see own doctors, I ask about how their children are doing and all that, as a psychiatrist, I just don't get to do that. And boy, sometimes, it is lonely.

When I am with my kids, I don't get to say, "So, what do you think of the KMT in Taiwan?!" Or, "Can you believe Auntie Giddiemon did this or that..." Or, "Bummer about Bear Stearns!"

Hubby occasionally wonders if I blog because we don't talk enough. Rest assured, Hubby and I talk a lot, as my parents can attest, however, there is something alluring about writing my random thoughts as they come, and all you people will just have to read it!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

• Split Pea Soup

  These days, whenever I need to make a meal for other folks, I choose from my 3 standbys.
  
  1. Pork Chops in Applesauce, with the appropriate side dishes.
  2. Blasted Chicken, with the appropriate side dishes.
  3. Split Pea Soup, with bread or croutons.
  
  I made option #3 last week for a dear, sweet friend. We met M all the way back in 2001, when Grace Presbyterian Church was just getting started. She was hobbling around with a leg cast that August- apparently, she fell off a chair while prepping her classroom for the fall. I thought, "Man, this woman is serious about her classroom." Later, when we moved back here and started having a Bible Study in our home, we were lucky to have M in our group. And boy, she was, and still is, serious about many things! I saw through her eyes, the beauty of paper, of organization, of hope in Christ. Anyway, she became a new mom just recently- and I was privileged to make her a meal.
  
  Interestingly, I think of my cooking as, "just food." My mother believed in cooking in large portions, and while I thought her cooking was great, I am now quite certain that belief wasn't and isn't shared by many. To her defense, she raised 3 kids, while my Dad worked about 100 hours a week. And she worked too. And she was super involved with church. Therefore, with that kind of exposure, I didn't think so much of my cooking. Although, organic chemistry had taught me to be more precise about following directions...
  
  Anyway, some folks over time had asked me about this recipe, (since I have made for a lot of different postpartum friends...)
  
  Take a bag of dried split peas, 16 oz, rinse and set aside.
  Take a ham steak, about 1 pound, cut into cubes.
  Take lots of carrots, perhaps about 2 cups, chop into big bite sized pieces.
  Take lots of celery, also about 2 cups, chop into big bite sized pieces.
  If you happen to have a left over ham bone, say from Thanksgiving or Christmas, decrease the ham steak, or not use ham steak at all.
  
  For slow cooker: combine ingredients, add 1 bay leaf, cover with water. Cook on high, for about 8-10 hours.
  
  For stove top: saute carrots and celery, add the other stuff, also with 1 bay leaf, cover with water, bring to a boil, then turn the heat down, let it simmer, leave the cover on initially, then check the consistency after 1 hour, if there is too much water, remove the cover, if too dry, add some more water. Cook for total about 2 hours.
  
  You see, this really, is just food. Oh, if you happen to have chicken stock on hand, feel free to add some, but I personally prefer the simplicity (and the low sodium version) with just water.
  
  Maybe when I get my acts together, I will share the recipes of my pork chops and my blasted chicken.
  

• I Will Survive!

  So the words to "I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor are not quite right for this occasion- since I have my Ultimate Sweetheart, and my earthly Sweetheart, with two other Little Sweethearts. However, the last few days have been truly, I WILL SURVIVE!
  
  As I last left off, I worked total of 3 hours last week. I was so sick on Friday, that after waving good-bye to the children, I climbed back in bed, slept until noon, Hubby brought me lunch, and lounged in bed for a few more hours. On Saturday, we mainly stuck around the house, while Aidan opened up my trunk for his birthday present. No, it wasn't a corpse, there were no Mafia connections. However, he did find a 2 wheeler bike! Of course, it came with training wheels- he immediately hopped on, rode around, and showed amazing abilities to stop, turn...etc. All this, was done in absolutely frigid weather. It was so cold and windy, I think the temp was well in the low 50's- for our East Coast friends, or just friends who don't live in California- it was COLD. Since I was already sick, I came back inside, felt worse, and while I managed to get dinner on the table, I crawled into bed, and wanted to go to heaven. Anyway, after an hour- while I eavesdropped on Hubby putting the children to bed (there was no complaining what so ever, not from the children, and definitely not from Hubby), I rejoined the land of the living, took my temp, which was 102.4, had some Tylenol and GOT to WORK!
  
  Because, the big birthday bash was not to be canceled due to illnesses.
  
  I went to bed around ten, Hubby went to bed around 11:30, and this morning, we got up at 6 am. To set up for the party, and to get ready. As for the details of the party, that will have to wait, because I think, the story would be better with pictures...
  

Friday, March 14, 2008

4 years!

Tomorrow, Aidan will be FOUR. FOUR!!!

In the last 1461 days, he had grown SO very much!

He had gained about 30 pounds, grown about 20 inches,
Traveled to Illinois, North Carolina, New York,
Spain, England, Italy, France, and Australia.
Needed about 5000 diapers, nursed probably 2200 times,
Saw the pediatrician about 20 times,
Used perhaps $50000 in childcare,
I had been away from him for total of 6 nights,
And he had become such an amazing little boy.

So curious, independent, persistent,
Sweet, and gentle.

Just this morning, he told me, "Thank you, Mommy, for buying me all these clothes."
Last night, he told Hubby, "Mommy said there is only one Mommy, and I needed to wait for my turn, so I got dressed myself."

Wow.





We had a big party of his first birthday, when he also got baptized. We played a game of "Choose your Career!" We set out a stethoscope (for a career in medicine), a book (a career in academia), a calculator (a career in business), a mouse (a career in high tech) and a drum (a career in music.) He chose- the stethoscope! Seriously, the game was not rigged. These days, I whisper into his sweet little ears, "cosmetic dermatology..." Sometimes, when I see that he is so amazing with his spatial abilities, I think, "he would make a FINE surgeon."



When he turned 2, I brought ice-cream to his friends at school.




When he turned 3, we made ice-cream sundaes with his friends- because he wanted to share his favorite fruit at the time: Cherries! Maraschino cherries!




Just two days ago, we shared cup cakes with his buddies- he really loved the blue icing!

Friday, March 14, 2008

There are no more words

There are no more words to be used about sickness and my family. Already, there are a gabillion posts about my children and being sick. But I must find more words for this, because I am the one who is sick now.

It feels like this household has been running nonstop, between A&Z's daily maintenance, my family's visit, the funeral, A&Z's movie production, and working for our paychecks, I am ready to throw in the towel and call it quits. My body definitely is. I woke up with a very heavy head yesterday, but being that I had not been to work in DAYS, I made myself go- and I thought I was going to die during the staff meeting. Actually, that wouldn't be a fair measurement of my wellness- you see, I typically want to die in staff meetings. Anyway, I collapsed in my bed at 9:30 pm, and woke up this morning with a worse cough, and essentially, absolutely no desire to help anyone. So I stayed home.

But it was hard to stay home- Aidan woke up and looked like the whole world owed him money, or something. He had not wanted dinner last night, and this morning, he also looked miserable. However, he didn't have a cough, no runny nose, and ate a really good breakfast, so we sent him to school.

We definitely need to get better- it is a big weekend, with lots happening, say, a joint party to celebrate Aidan's 4th, Zoe's first, and her baptism. Must get better, must get better, must get better...

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

A Review of Agent Aidan

The release of Agent Aidan and Agent Zoe will take place this coming Sunday! The movie is FINISHED!

Mumbo Jumbo
A lot has happened in the last few days, and my mind is simply full of mumbo jumbo.

1. It is a good thing that I play the piano- essentially, at all funerals with my family, I am assigned the task of providing music. It gives me a purpose at a funeral, so I just play as best as I can, and since the piano is often located in a corner, I don't have to watch my relatives cry, and that helps me to hold it together. It is actually, hard for me, to not cry when I see other people cry. Therefore, quite ironic, that I make a career out of watching people cry... Anyway, I played for my grandmother's funeral, and although no one sobbed, I was sad during the eulogy. Good thing I was tucked away with the piano.

2. My extended family is the antithesis of thoughtful people when US politics is involved, while they are fervently watching Taiwanese politics.

An unnamed relative: "I can't wait to go vote in Taiwan."
Me: "Vote in Taiwan?"
Relative: "Yes! It is important!"
Me: "But we live here, we pay taxes here, we raise our kids here... Who did you vote for in the primary?"
Relative: "Of course! Mrs. Clinton!"
Me: "Why?"
Relative: "Don't ask why! It is just the way it is!"
Me: "How come?"
Relative: "Because we don't want a black president!"
Me thinking: "Did I mention I think some of my family can be quite racist..."
Me: "Why?"
Relative: "Mexicans always want Hillary, and black people want Obama. And I want Mrs. Clinton."
Me: "I see. Why?"
In the end I never got this relative to tell me why... This unnamed relative rambled on about the Taiwanese government and how it was a shame that I didn't know anything about it.
True, I don't know very much about it, because, The Wall Street Journal and The Economist havenot found it important enough to report! Besides, the Taiwanese people think they have democracy, well, they don't, and I don't plan on living there, and I have enough to learn and keep busy here. Did I mention I am trying to raise 2 kids, work, study for my boards, keep up my blog, read the Bible... So... Ignoramus am I, I suppose...

3. It is really good to see my siblings. Both of them are dating now, and I am REALLY curious to meet their sig others... I know one of the sigs reads my posts, so... this is your advance warning, WE ARE COMING TO GET YOU! Ha, ha. Just kidding, I can't wait. It would be awesome!

4. My kids are so cute. And I hope, we raise them to be thoughtful people who love God.

Monday, March 10, 2008

• Updates of Children

  My kids do more than get sick, really.
  
  Zoe has mastered using a cup!
  
  
  
  
  Aidan is doing really well with using his allowance wisely. This is the set that he really wanted this past weekend, but chose to put it down and possibly wait for his grandparents to get it for him for his birthday. Delayed gratification, that is what I am trying to teach him, whether he ends up using his own money, or plots to wait for birthday presents, that is up to him, and his grandparents!
  
  

  
  

• Day Light Savings, not saving me time...

  With spring forward, I had anticipated that it would be difficult to get out of the house this morning, mind you, I don't even really get out that early: 8 am, is when we need to start the migration to the car. This morning, I woke up at 7:16, got Hubby up. Then I packed lunches for everyone while Hubby got ready. Then I got ready, then Zoe got up at 7:45, then Aidan got up around 8. Clearly, I was not going to make it to work by 9. I was dressed, and ready to go. Then, we decided that Zoe was in need of staying home for one more day. I called clinic and canceled my day. For some strange reason, the patients from my private practice all decided to call me this morning, so while I frantically returned phone calls while Hubby was caught up in conference call upstairs, Aidan announced, "If Zoe is not going to school, I don't want to go to school." Usually, I would have taken him anyway, because, a rest day for Zoe meant that we would REST, not play, and Aidan would have been so bored. However, since my family was all getting into town, for my Grandmother's funeral, I figured, might as well save myself time.
  
  I then changed out of my work clothes, put away the fabulously packed lunches, and crossed my fingers. You see, I am a FABULOUS mother, when I have one child under my charge. When I have Aidan, we talk, we laugh, we giggle, we eat yummies. When I have Zoe, we snuggle, we nap, we go on leisurely walks. However, with two, I am often just so strung out- trying to make everyone happy isn't easy, or even possible, in my opinion. Hubby says, that we should have another baby, then I would realize that I am a fabulous mother when I have 2 kids with me. HA!
  
  Well, we had a fabulous day. Really helped that my parents showed up by 11, and that Zoe napped for three hours, from 10:30 until 1:30. And that Hubby came home early. And that my sister played with A&Z a bunch, and that dinner was already made last night.
  
  Moreover, Zoe went to bed at 6:15, and Aidan went to bed at 7:35. While day light saving did not save me time today, maybe it will tomorrow.
  
  

Monday, March 10, 2008

Different Opinions

It has been a very interesting experience, for me, to talk to my friends about their political views, and why they think the way they think. While I think nearly all my churchgoing friends are pro lifers, the similarities pretty much end there. We know faithful, smart people who are die hard Democrats, and faithful, smart people who are conservative about everything.

Having had a college education at a women's college, I think, all my friends from there are Democrats and adore Hillary. At work, as psychiatry is a stereotypical liberal profession, everyone there, I assume, is a Democrat and loves Hillary too. Usually, when I ask these folks about their opinions, I don't really talk about mine. Call it staying neutral, a professional habit, or simply, too shy to speak up my mind. Perhaps that is why I am talking about it here. See, here, no one can interrupt me. (And if you do disagree, I will just delete your comment, because while I love my freedom of speech, I much rather practice dictatorship here. )

I just don't like Hillary, rather, what she stands for. She is very smart, determined, and capable. But, I can't trust her. Do I need to trust our President? That is a separate discussion entirely. In her case, I think it is weird, that no one is talking about all these scandals she and Bill had left in their tracks all these years, Whitewater, Monica Lewinsky, the impeachment, their financial dealings have been dubious, yet no one, not even Obama, can talk about it. According to Peggy Noonan, it is a rule among Democrats, to not discuss it. Why do the Clintons get to 'reinvent' themselves time and time again, and no one is even fazed by this? Given what the current President has done, I just don't want another President who can't be held accountable. In my opinion, the Clintons have not been held accountable. On the other hand, maybe I am just jealous. (Deep down inside, I want to be Hillary!) I want to get get away with somewhat unethical, illegal dealings, but I also don't want to lose sleep over these things, so I guess, my question is this, How DO the Clintons sleep at night? What is it like to know that rules don't apply to you? On the other hand, perhaps all politicians are not meant to be accountable... In some ways, I think, to make it big as a politician, one ought to have some antisocial and narcissistic personality traits, that is how one can fund raise and get votes.

As for being a Republican vs. Democrat, I will illustrate with an experience. A few years ago, when Prop 63 was on the ballot, I had eagerly voted YES! Because, as a psychiatrist, I believed that more money for these mentally ill patients would be awesome- that these people could always use more services, and also, hey, maybe that will fund a future job for me! Having lived in the world of post Prop 63, I seriously regret ever voting for it. On one hand, we will never gross more than 1 million a year, so who cares. On the other hand, this new money, came with a HUGE baggage: the new money can only fund new programs, none of the existing programs can ever receive this money. Therefore, all these counties had to come up with new programs, while the existing services were way overloaded, with not enough manpower, yet new people were sitting around, dreaming up of new programs. The government, once again, mucked up a perfectly reasonable idea. While more people are getting some kind of service, the most severely ill people are still, most severely ill, and I have not seen improvement in their housing, employment situations. Total. Waste. Of. My. Yes. On. Prop. 63. Therefore, these days, whenever we vote, I always vote NO on these propositions. If we had done fine without it, we won't need it.

Along with the same thought, I am feeling compelled to write about my opinion about the health care situation in this country. No president can fix this problem. We have had a nationalized health care plan in this country for a very long time- the VA system. Do vets like to go to VA hospitals? NO!!! Nationalized health care will not be affordable, because Americans expect way too much from going to the hospital. When one goes to the hospital, one ought to go with the expectation that if one gets to leave the hospital alive, that would be highly unusual. The fact is, it is very expensive to keep people alive, especially when Americans are ridden with diabetes, hypertension, hypercholesterolemia, which all lead to incredibly expensive interventions. Perhaps the fact that food is costing more now might mean good things to American's health?

So I wrote my political opinions, which probably will make me highly unpopular in this part of the country... Yet, I love how I get to disagree with my friends, and we are still friends, and I am not in jail. Because, I imagine, if I wrote dissenting ideas about the Chinese government as a Chinese citizen, I would probably be in jail.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Guess What!

Guess what! Zoe is sick again! HA!

Although I have been keeping track of her illnesses, I have totally lost count. I think, this might be illness number six, or seven. Seriously!

On Friday, when I picked her up from school, I saw a runny nose, and thought, NO!!!! Then her teacher confirmed it: she had been cranky, clingy, and slightly warm. Drats.

This was sad, sad, news, because I had just exchanged e mails with a family, that we had been trying to meet for dinner, that finally, we were illness free. Alas, I decided, Mrs. R. had said that unless there was vomiting, she didn't really mind, so...there was no vomiting, and I really wanted to see Mrs. R... We will wait and see, if something happens in the R household. To my credit, she didn't touch any of the R's children.

We decided though, to keep her home from church- this would be third Sunday in a row, that she would miss church!

As for studying for boards, I had been overwhelmed by mnemonics, for instance, etiology of delirium:
I WATCH DEATH. Nice, huh?

Infectious
Withdrawal
Acute metabolic
Trauma
CNS pathology
Hypoxia
Deficiency
Endocrine
Acute vascular
Toxins
Heavy metals

Awesome.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

A Clandestine Evening

I felt like we had a clandestine evening yesterday, but in reality, we went to to hear a lecture at Stanford, by Dr. Tim Keller. It was worth all the efforts.

Dr. Keller, the head pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church, is someone that I wish I could be neighbors with- and perhaps if we move to Roosevelt Island, we could be neighbors! Anyway, during the two years we went to his church, I found that my faith really solidified. Don't tell my parents, but up to college, my faith was never all that real, and it really became a part of me in medical school. I just never got that 'I do not need to be good, because Jesus is good, and was good, and he already died on the cross for me' until we went to Redeemer. Moreover, I was blown away by Keller's ability to point every single passage in the Bible to Christ, our Redeemer.

When we heard that he would be out in the Bay Area, on his book tour, we really wanted to go. But that presented a few obstacles: children. My father-in-law graciously offered to babysit for us, and so the task was to:

1. feed the children

2. bath the children

3. bed one child

4. leave the house

5. to get there as soon as humanly possible to get seats

The last task was most difficult: doors were scheduled to open at 6:45, but we couldn't leave home until 6:30. In anticipation of this, I studied the map of Stanford Univeristy, found the location, dug out this parking pass that I had saved from the days when I worked for their Mental Health Services, all the while, felt very clandestine about the project. As soon as Dad came over, we threw ourselves in the car, drove as quickly as we could, but then, couldn't find parking! Once we found parking, we made a bee-line for the auditorium. We walked in at 7:25. I was so sad, that we for sure wouldn't find seats. Being a quitter, I was ready to throw in the towel and go out for dessert. However, Hubby, persisted, and as we stood in the back scanning the auditorium, an usher came up and offered us two excellent seats. Phew!

It felt like the 'old times', sitting in a college auditorium, listening to Dr. Keller, sans children. I was struck about two things. One, that what makes a believer, or makes an unbeliever, include three issues: intellectual, personal, and social conditioning. Usually, when I think about my faith, I think of these three issues in isolation, and it was so refreshing to have that reframed. Secondly, that God created us, and saw how lonely humans were, so He sent Himself to be with us. Wow.

I am going to dwell on that a lot today.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Localize This Lesion

Here is a vignette:

A mother of two wanders over to her kitchen after eating brain candy in the form of 'Project Runway.' To her credit, she did study a little during the day... She proceeds to pour out a cup of laundry detergent in the laundry closet. She thinks about all the laundry that needs to be folded, the lunches that need to be packed, if it would save time to pour the milk into the bottles now, or to do that during the 45 seconds it takes to heat up her baby's first bottle in the morning. Regardless, the bottles need to be clean. She then pours that laundry detergent into the compartment for detergent in her DISH WASHER.

Where is the lesion?

A: Non-dominant parietal lobe- she clearly has neglect of her left side.
B: Cortical dementia.
C: Subcortical dementia.
D: Frontal lobe dysfunction.
E: All of the above.
F: None of the above.
G: A+B+C but not D
H: A+C+D but not C
I: This question is causing hypoperfusion of the entire brain.

I had a clinical supervisor who told me that she felt her brain was permanently damaged after she took her psychiatry boards. I fear the same had happened to me and I still need to take this test... Meanwhile, after consulting my colleagues who had recently passed the boards, I finally formulated my study plan. Essentially, I am going to read my 3 sources again, and again, and again, and again. My 3 sources being the beloved Kauffman's, the Mass General psychiatry review book, and all the old PRITEs (Psychiatry Resident In Training Exams). Just 3 months and 2 days left.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Restless

I have concluded that I am feeling restless- perhaps it all stems from boards preparations, children's illnesses, Hubby's budding creative career, my own career, who knows. But it is evident, I am restless.

So here is a grand plan that I am mulling over, thinking through, researching, discussing...

We, or rather, I, want to move to New York City.

We just LOVED, LOVED, LOVED, NYC when we lived there. Maybe it was the fact that we had so much time for each other, or that it was pre-offsprings. Definitely not because we had plush accommodations, or spending money to eat out. We loved our community group, our friends, even the laundromat. Ok, so to say I loved our laundromat would be a stretch. I definitely despised it, but in retrospect, to go shopping and browsing in a bookstore while the laundry washed and dried wasn't ALL bad. (Clearly, part of me is romanticizing this.)

We also love where we are now- A&Z love being transported around in our trusty Volvo, with its turbo engine. They adore the parks, and I enjoy the ease of stocking up at Costco. Yet, I miss the ACTION. I miss those Sunday afternoons, that after getting lunch with friends a few blocks from church, we would meander down Fifth Avenue, to swing into the park, or the Met, walk around, and catch the train home. I miss seeing Macy's Thanksgiving Parade balloons.

While we are definitely NOT ready to leave here yet, I want it to be our goal, that as Aidan and Zoe no longer need car seats, when they no longer need naps, when they can go places by themselves, say around 10, that we will be back in the Big Apple.

The dream, is to have my children, be able to know exactly how to get to school by themselves, to get to piano lessons by themselves, to know where to get the best croissants by themselves, and the theme here, is for them to be independent.

Meanwhile, it seems like all psychiatry jobs in NYC require board certification- so I better hop to that.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

• In Production

  While we battled our illness du jour, Hubby had been frantically trying to get the kids to do some quite specific tasks as we try to meet our deadline for Agent Aidan and Agent Zoe.
  

  
  Clearly, it took a long time, between these two actors, to get anything useful. At least they didn't demand a better contract, for more allowances, more food, more toys, or something.
  

  
  

• Our 'Careers'

  I wrote careers in quotes, because, if last week was an indication of parenthood with two, Hubby and I could both kiss our careers good-bye.
  
  Hubby took Monday off. I worked.
  
  He went to work on Tuesday. I worked for 2 hours on Tuesday.
  
  He worked on Wednesday, since my Wednesdays had been blocked for 'studying.' (Again, in quotes, because, there really had been no studying this past week.)
  
  He went to work on Thursday. I took Thursday morning off, but had to take Zoe in for a couple of hours for my private practice. I got a text message from dear Hubby that Zoe needed to be picked up. Upon conferencing, the sad, sad, news was that Zoe had a fever of 102.7 axillary, which meant, her true temperature was 103.7! An expletive would be appropriate. Hubby rushed to pick her up, and I got on the phone to get her an appointment. After more expletives inside of me, and nearly sobbing to God, I got us an appointment at 3:15. We rendevoued at the pediatricians, and saw our regular pediatrician. Dr. B. is THE BEST pediatrician EVER. He had seen probably millions of children, and could tell you what your newborn's bili was just by looking at your baby. Totally AWESOME. That, and he had been totally understanding that as a doctor, with about 8 weeks of pediatrics under my belt, I could be quite over-reactive, with images of hospitalized children, oozing pus, pooping 'currant jelly', comatose, nearly dead. And, he always told me, that I needed to be a mom in regards to A & Z's health, nothing more. Anyway, he diagnosed Zoe with a probably ear infection and a viral upper respiratory infection, and readily agreed to an intramuscular dose of ceftriaxone just so that we wouldn't have to drug her at home.
  
  We had seen about 1/2 of the pediatrics staff at our local HMO- when the kids got sick, I usually just wanted to get in to see anyone, ANYONE. However, there had been some true winners, and definite hmm, less winners. At this facility, Dr. R. also provided a very excellent experience, as did Dr. C. All three pediatricians had been practicing a very long time, as they held down my wriggly babies to take a close look at the tempanic membranes, that the way they firmly insisted on a good physical exam always reassured me.
  
  That got me thinking, what do my patients think, when they meet me for the first time, that I am usually younger than they are, and am in the early phase of my professional career?
  
  As for our 'careers'- Hubby graciously offered to stay home Friday, so I could keep my full day of patients- so that I wouldn't be in rescheduling purgatory next week. Although, we agreed that if this illness continued into next week, I would be staying home since he will be attending some pretty big meetings...
  
  And lucky for me, Zoe seemed to have recovered. We'll keep her home today from church, just to give her one last chance to nap leisurely, because tomorrow, it is back to work!
  

  
  

• Mac n' Cheese!

  If you like mac and cheese, do not read this post.
  
  As I had left off, we were coping with Zoe's conjunctivitis with trimethoprim-polymixide. However, the situation deteriorated as the week progressed. On Monday, Hubby developed conjunictivits. Zoe started to decline her finger foods while she fought a low grade fever. Every time we gave her some kind of fever reducer, through a syringe, a dropper, mixed in with food, she barfed. On Tuesday, she still had the fever, but was playful. We took her to school, where she refused to eat, so I picked her up early afternoon. She barfed a few more times, and we moved on to acetaminephen suppositories. She stayed home with me on Wednesday, refusing nearly all food and fluids. She had consumed about 6 ounces of formula and 1/2 a cup of yogurt for the last 24 hours! I took her to see a pediatrician- on the way, she barfed all over the carseat as I was pulling on the freeway. I had never been so happy to find 2 pouches of baby wipes and empty bags. There we were, in the middle of a parking lot, Zoe is stripped naked, strapped in her stroller, while I frantically searched for an outfit, phew, we had one, and mopped up the vomitus. After waiting for nearly an eternity, I was told that her physical exam was completely unremarkable and that I ought to try to give her fluids. YOU THINK?! Utterly unhelpful.
  
  At this time, I was ashamed, that I was a doctor- I bet, I have plenty of patients that after their appointments, they were unimpressed with my professional advice. For instance, the patient who had somatization disorder, who had been so worried about his 'cough.' The pulmonologist noted that he had not coughed during his nearly-an-hour of consultation and had given him the diagnosis of post-nasal drip, and I suggested, "perhaps more pillows under your head to prop you up while you sleep?"
  
  Anyway, back to the story. Zoe and I went to get Aidan from school. He got in the car, said, "Hey, I smell mac and cheese!" What he really smelled, was the lovely, lingering odor of vomitus.