Are you? ARE YOU?

Hubby and I joke around with the phrase, "Are you? ARE YOU?!" and "Do you? DO YOU?!" whenever we are asking for something actually quite obvious. Such as, "Do you want to go out to dinner? Well, do you? DO YOU?!" I think it came from our beloved show, Friends.

Lately, I feel that God is asking me, "Do you trust me, do you? DO YOU?" "Are you trusting me, are you? ARE YOU?!"

The difference is, sometimes, I don't think I trust God to take care of me, and therefore, I am not trusting Him.

There are many things in life that I really just think I know what I want, when I want it, and how I want it. Let it be schooling/extracurricular/discipline issues for A&Z, or my work issues, or Hubby's work issues, or health, money, sanity. You name it, I really do think I have it covered.

Oh... Except I really don't know what I am doing. What on earth would I think I know how to raise kids, for starters, I have never done it before! The same goes for nearly everything else in my life. In fact, I have never had to be responsible for two little people, cook three meals a day, show up to work, and manage other people's mental health problems. (Well, maybe I have a bit more experience managing other people's psychiatric issues- it has been 10 years since med school graduation, after all. Not much experience, just a bit. And lately, this bit has been quite stressful.) Anyway, I really have no idea what I am doing in life.

The reason that this blog has been dormant is because writing about how things are out of my control is not really fun/encouraging/interesting. Yes, I aim to achieve all three goals in my posts.

Therefore, I sit down and read the Book of Job. Actually, I only read the last few chapters of the Book of Job. The chapters where God spoke to Job. Essentially, it boiled down to this: "Just who do you think you are? That you know what is best?! What are you? Nuts?! Crazy?! I am the One who made you, and everything else in this world. Trust me. I will take care of you, even when the sh.t hits the fan." Perhaps my translation is a bit loose...

I ponder upon that, and the conclusion is this: (Hello! Captain Obvious!) I don't know what I am doing, I don't even know how to trust God. Please God, don't leave me! SOS! SOS! SOS!

My believing friends, I pray the same for you.