Focus, Perseverance, and Obedience.

"Do you want to have fun or do you want to be good?" That is something I jokingly say to my kids these days. Of course, while it helps to have fun and be good at something, that usually doesn't happen for a while.

Hockey is fun, but probably more fun when your team is winning. Definitely more fun when you succeed in defending your goal or scoring a goal on your opponent. Or stealing the puck away from the other guy. In order to do all that though, it is just hard work.

One of my favorite movies these days is The Miracle, you know, about the US Olympic ice hockey team from decades ago. My favorite part is when the mean, mean, coach made the assistant coach send the players to spring across the ice, over and over again. "AGAIN!" "AGAIN!" "AGAIN!"

Aidan's coach doesn't do that, not to my knowledge anyway. They do work hard though, Aidan is all sweaty after his practice, while I am always shivering just waiting for him. He is practicing Tuesdays, Fridays. He has games on Saturdays and Sundays. We are trying to get him some extra coaching on Mondays. Perhaps that is a lot, but really, "Do I want to help Aidan to be good?" You bet.

Even though he has only been skating since last Christmas, he is FAST. Possibly the fastest kid on his team. He also happens to really like it, and doesn't oppose us pushing him a bit. It definitely helps that I know nothing about hockey, and therefore, I can't make him do anything, but pay for his coaching and get him to places.

I am just so proud of him. Not just because he is fast. Or that he works hard. I am also so pleased that he is the kid that can get his gear on and off quickly. Through the task of getting the gear on and off, I am working on my patience, and he is working on his focus, as the locker room is inevitably always buzzing with activities.

They have played against a few teams from our area already- some teams are, umhum, not very good. Some teams are frightening awesome. Through it all, Aidan is learning and getting better at it.

Meanwhile, the other time sucking activity continues here- the piano. While completely different than hockey, he is also learning very much the same skills. We are learning focus, perseverance, and obedience. Strangely, he prefers to have me sit by him at every practice. (Whereas I had learned long ago, to get my mother to leave me alone.) Therefore, I sit there, and correct the misfingerings, the wrong notes, the incorrect rhythms, speeding/slowing down tempos. And I say, "Again." "Again." "Again."

He tells me today, "But you said I needed to do it three more times, but then you kept saying AGAIN!" It is true. What is the point if the three more times were all incorrect? I want three more times correctly. Believe, sometimes it is really unpleasant. In piano, he has to focus to keep up with his two hands and for now, one foot, read music, and count. He also must keep trying, again, and again, and again. Then there is obedience, "If I say you played a wrong note, you did just play a wrong note. Again."

He is really sounding better and better on the piano every week. And looking better and better at hockey. Here he is #11 in the white jersey.

3 Hours

We have been so busy here, what else is new?

On Friday evening, Hubby said, "I am feeling so stressed out about this weekend!" I reassured him that he can relax, "I have it covered."

HA!

On Saturday morning, after we saw Aidan off to an all-day ice hockey event, I realized I needed to make some urgent phone calls about my credit file, thanks to the ever-mounting regulations our beloved government kept piling up in the refinance of our abode. Zoe had a doctor's appointment then soccer. I had planned on taking her, but it just wasn't going to happen. So Hubby went instead of me, and took one for the team.

After a quick lunch, Hubby left to go to Aidan's hockey game. Zoe and I got to hang back, shop, and relax. He took another one for the team.

Our friends came over for a Schubertiad late in the afternoon, before Hubby and Aidan even got home. It was delightful to see all the children play with each other, and of course, tickle the ivory.

As much as we enjoyed our friends, it was good that everyone had dinner plans so that we had some downtime as a family.

This morning, Aidan and Hubby went to a hockey game, I went to Home Depot with Zoe to take care of life stuff. We went to worship, and despite hearing about how God bestows undeserving grace on me, I was utterly unable to do the same for Aidan and Zoe. I was irritated, annoyed, and frustrated with them. While we did homework, Kumon, and piano lessons, I was just, irritated. Irritated that God gave me these kids to raise. Annoyed that these kids had/have so much to learn. Frustrated that I was irritated, annoyed and frustrated.

After we finished all the 'must-do enrichment activities', Hubby said, "Even I was scared." True, this mother's teaching voice really is scary. Even as I use that very stern and loud voice, I always think, "Man, I sound just like my mother. This is probably not fun for them." However, it is like they are deaf until the stern, angry, loud voice is screeching.

Somehow, my loving Hubby intervenes on behalf of Jesus, and takes yet another one for the team. "I am leaving with the kids for ice skating. You take 3 hours to take care of yourself."

Let's face it, the weekends are never going to be restful for Hubby. Not just because we have kids, but because he married me.

I am counting on Jesus to take care of him, because I, really, just, can't. As much as I try- I do have blueberry muffins in the oven, beef stew and chicken soup on the stove, yet I know, that Hubby needs more than that.

Isn't that just the summary of a sinful mother who needs Jesus? As much as I try, I really can't fix my life. I need Jesus.

Working on a Cruise Ship

This definitely speaks to my guilt about hiring people to do things for me.

As wonderful as the cruise was, I felt so awful about having Nerissa clean our stateroom twice a day. Whenever I saw the towel animals, I thought about how she must be so tired. I felt guilty about Daniel and Noti bringing me tea, water, food, cutting up food for my children, entertaining my children...

Hubby tried to break it down for me:
They are making an honest and fairly good living, all the tips and wages they make, essentially are their to keep after their tax liabilities, as they do not need to pay for room and board, and there are very few ways of spending money while working as a crew member. They go on vacation, 2-3 months at a time. And, they do it so they can travel and see the world.

Still, I feel the compulsion to ask them for a social history, to be sure they are having a good time, that they are not suffering from loneliness, depression, anxiety. Professional hazard, what can I say?

Brain Washed

We just spent 7 glorious nights being brain washed by Disney Cruise Line.

Did I say glorious? It was possibly the best vacation I have ever had. I take that back, our honeymoon trip was the best ever vacation. These past 7 days though, were probably the best days since Aidan and Zoe were born.

I didn't cook anything, I didn't clean anything, and I didn't even need to discipline any children. (I saw them for meals, swimming, and bedtime. There wasn't time to discipline them!)

Ahhhh..... Hard to imagine that Heaven is going to be better than a Disney Cruise- therefore, I can't wait to see Heaven! (As a side note, as we were about to land on our way home today, I actually did have this thought: If the plane were to explode, I am totally ok with that, I am here with Hubby, Aidan and Zoe, we are happy, delighted, and simply, content. I am ready for Heaven.)

Disney knows how to entertain people. They know what they are doing, and there really is no reason to fight it. We listened to Disney theme songs in the hall way, saw Mickey and Minnie many times, met a few princesses, got their autographs, and just delighted in how unrealistic the experience really was.

The food was great, the portion sizes were humane, and lots of healthy options were available. My particular favorite was the poolside fruit/sandwich/salad stand. We got plates and plates of watermelon and just gobbled them all up. Our servers were gracious, friendly, and amazing. Aidan asked to go to the dining room for breakfast and lunch, just to see them. I, of course, experienced a lot of guilt by having people serve me. Hubby assuaged my guilt by convincing me that they too, were having a good time. (More on the staff later.)

We went with my parents and brother's family. It was great to meet H, my nephew, to hang out with W, my SIL. My parents were well rested, relaxed, and very happy. We just all had so much fun!

Upon re-entry though, Aidan and Zoe left for a math/reading challenge contest, and I dashed off to Costco and unpacking. I had 25 voice mails, and 14 e mails to get back to for work, which was actually much less than I had anticipated.

We are back. Rested. Relaxed. But not so ready to jump back into real life.

The Complaints of a New Hockey Mom

We recently found a video of Aidan, when he was about 4 and 1/2, and Zoe was 1 and 1/2, documenting a Saturday of that stage of our life. We basically fed the kids over and over again, and in between eating, the kids played a variation of ice hockey in the living room. Instead of hockey sticks, Hubby and Aidan used cooking spatulas. Instead of a puck, they used a plastic toy waffle from Zoe's kitchen set. Instead of a Zamboni, Zoe pushed her baby stroller around the 'rink', which was our living room floor, with the carpet rolled away.

Little did I know, that activity would evolve into hours, and hours, at the ice rink.

It started last fall, when Aidan asked to start skating again. Because we were, and still are, very committed to his Chinese school, he couldn't participate in the group lessons for hockey. Instead, we enrolled him in figure skating classes, and arranged for some private lessons. By spring time, he had accumulated all the ice hockey gear. By late spring, he got himself onto the in-house league. By late summer, he got on the traveling league.

I can go on for hours, complaining about how the rinks always smell, a weird, humid smell, like listeria is always brewing somewhere, or about the intensity of this sport, or the time it is taking me to get him to the rink. For instance, every other Tuesday, I leave work at 3, to pick up Z, then our carpool buddy, then taken Aidan out of his Chinese school lesson, to drive 27 miles away for an hour of practice, and 1/2 hour of 'team building' activity. The children get dinner in the car on the way home, and we arrive at our final destination at 7:15.

But I am really trying very hard to not to complain, because, my 'hardships' are nothing.

There is a family, whose 11 year old child plays in a league in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA: 400 miles away from here. They drive down there on Saturday am, he practices in the pm, they stay over night, then he plays in a game, EVERY WEEK.

Or, the 14 year old who chooses to go to boarding school in MINNESOTA, so that he can play.

Or, the goalie who has to see his goalie coach at 6 am every week. The child is EIGHT years old! 8! 8!

Isn't it just insane?!

In 2 weeks, I am going to get up at 5 am, throw Aidan in the car, and drive to a 7 am game. It is going to be awesome. I will try to keep the perspective that at least I am not driving down to SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA every week.

More Practice

This blog is rather neglected, not because our lives are boring, it is precisely the opposite.

To sum up though, we are spending a lot of time practicing.

Hubby changed jobs about a month ago. Basically, I started telling him that he needed to move on, to a more challenging place, to do something new about a year ago. Perhaps 'telling' is an understated verb for this, nagging may possibly be more descriptive. After a few months of telling/whining/nagging about it, I decided to stop. I may be the neck that turns the head, but I really don't want to tell Hubby what to do, I mean, I am not his mother, after all. Instead, I decided to pray, I prayed for patience for me, wisdom for him. In early spring, Hubby decided that he probably needed to start looking. He did look, but it didn't look good. In general, in this awful recession, who would want to switch jobs?! By early summer though, an opportunity landed in his lap. After much careful consideration, Hubby took the job, said good-bye to the good folks at GW, where he had worked for the last seven years, and moved on. He is now busily practicing his skills as a product manager (what is that, exactly?!) at the place. He is also practicing his bike riding skills. This new place is about 8 times further from our house than the previous job. He rides to work at least once a week, it takes him about 70 minutes each way. He is in really, really, good shape. =)

Zoe is doing a lot of practicing too. She tends to speak very, very, rapidly, therefore, dropping syllables and skipping words. The practice, with her therapist, is to sssslllooooow down, be mindful of her syllables, and make minor adjustments to her jaw. We are very happy to report that her speech has improved dramatically. With kindergarten just around the corner, this is something we must spend more time practicing. Figure skating is also something that she practices. With her own skates, and figure skating pants ($65 for a pair of PANTS for a FOUR year old?!) she is one enthusiastic skater. Because she is advancing in her classes, our family dinner time is somewhat messed up. For the last 3 Wednesdays, Aidan, Zoe, and I have eaten our dinner in the trunk of the CRV. One of these days, I actually heated up our dinner at work, picked up the kids, and fed them in the parking lot at Zoe's school. Good times, good times.

Aidan is practicing a lot of ice hockey. That deserves its own post, and I am really going to try to get it done soon. Our piano practice sessions have been so frustrating, for me, and for him. For the last few months, I have been thinking that Aidan doesn't know how to read music. We would talk about it, I quizzed him on it, we practiced it, and a day later, it was like the sponge in his brain was refusing to learn it. Then... we got a notice from school, that Aidan's vision was needing further assessment. In the end, Aidan got glasses. (I am quite possibly a negligent parent, as the optometrist told me that his vision likely had been worsening over the last THREE years.) With his new glasses, he is now reading music like a pro! Piano practices have gotten SO. MUCH. BETTER. He is doing really well academically at school, and that is with him not being able to read the board! I am very excited to see how much better school will be for him! Socially, Aidan has been a bit frustrated at school, Hubby and I talked and talked and talked about it. My conclusions? He needed his ears cleaned out. (Done, and the hockey coach said he no longer needed to repeat instructions to Aidan.) He needed to get to know his classmates better, we arranged for some playdates, with great success. He needed more fluids in the morning and during school- a dehydrated child is a cranky one. Finally, he needed to be able to SEE.

I am also practicing, aside from practicing how to use my electronic medical charting system, I am practicing the piano, as much as I can. Although I have been banned from playing Beethoven sonatas, first and third movements, (except for the first movement of the Moonlight Sonata) before the kids go to sleep. Hubby has complained that it is much too agitating. My mother would be so proud.

Now, I am going to go practice the skills required to study the back of my eye lids.

EMR

When I started my private practice in the fall of 2007, I had many decisions to make. For instance, did I want to do mostly therapy or mostly medication management? Did I want to set up my office completely on my own, or join a group? Did I want a paperless practice?
Back then, Zoe was 6 months old, Aidan was 3 and 1/2, and I was just starting to go back to work. Did I have time to think through all these issues? Actually, did I really think through the issues of starting my own practice?
I ended up joining a group because of happenstance, and I started seeing patients. Using papers. Lots and lots of papers. My pile of files grew, and grew, and grew It grew out of my little work bag, then I moved on to a bigger bag, with wheels. Then I got a file cabinet in my office, then I got a bigger file cabinet. Then I moved the files to the back office.
Now, some 500+ patients later, I really needed to move on to a paperless practice.
Over the last decade, most hospitals had moved away from papers to electronic medical records, which had grown into a very large, and profitable industry. For my little one woman shop, I did not have the luxury of hiring consultants to figure these things out for me. On the other hand, Hubby had been with me, growing this practice, and he did used to work as a consultant. On his advice, we made the switch.
Let me just make the record very clear: It is a pain to make the switch. You don't need to hear about the nitty gritty details of scanning charts, uploading charts, and blah, blah, blah. I now hear the scanner in my sleep.
What is interesting, is that electronic medical records are so widely accepted. Do people not realize that digital data storage is just NOT safe?! Sure, I am using a government certified program, my patients' information are stored in the cloud, it takes two login names and my very secure password, involving a capitalized letter, and numbers, and 10 character length password. However, do we not know about hackers? Hackers that broke into people's phones? Government e mails?
With paper charts, it is behind two locks, and about 10 people in this whole world, plus all the locksmiths, can have access to. With digital information, thousands are hackers are just waiting and working on it all the time.
Moreover, the way diagnoses are kept will be changing. The ICD-10 process will be in place, and there will be over 140,000 unique codes to describe the medical condition being treated. It is no secret that these codes are being used so that information can be extracted, so that 'they' can understand more and more about 'us.'
I am probably paranoid, but to not be, I think, is a bit naive. So anyway, I am moving forward with turning my practice into a paperless one, because I think the government is going to make me soon anyway, and I will, in fact, be more productive. My own doctors also use EMR, and I am kinda ok with that. But still, the whole thing is just alarming.