Competition

I am a competitive person. This is a fact, and I am admitting it readily.

Perhaps it is the middle child syndrome, I think I have always been competitive with my siblings, my friends, neighbors, random Jane down the street. If they can do something, then I am determined to do it with one hand, or upside down.

As an undergrad, because of this trait, I ended up double majoring, and nearly completing a minor in chemistry. (Come to think of it, I am not quite sure I didn't complete it, simply because that wouldn't be like me.)

I am so competitive that when I was in medical school, I couldn't imagine how my classmates could date/marry a fellow classmate. How could they not compare to see who did better on the anatomy test?!

At some point, I learned that I won't always win. GASP! It became clear, after the first quiz, that I won't graduate at the top of my medical school class, and I think my desire for sleep won in the end, and I managed to squash my competitive spirit into a little bottle and put it away.

From time to time, this trait resurfaces. Like when residency was nearly over, and my co-residents and I were all looking for jobs. Never mind that we all wanted different things, I wanted to 'WIN!'

At the present moment, I am thrilled to hear lots of friends are having babies. My sweet friend from undergrad just gave birth a few weeks ago. Aidan and Zoe's legal guardian, shall Hubby and I die prematurely, is about to deliver in the next few weeks. Another sweet woman from Bible study is about to give birth. A med school friend will be birthing twins shortly! My sweet sister-in-law is gestating, a beautiful co-resident from yore is growing a fetus. I am absolutely so happy for them. All these ladies are giving births to their first (set of) babies- how exciting!

Then, there are people having their thirds and fourths. I feel strangely competitive with these ladies, these women that I went to med school with. Women who work a lot more than I do, and they are having a LOT of kids! A, who is an ob/gyn, has 3. There is M, who is a surgeon, and she is about to have her third. There is E, who is an emergency room doctor, and she has FOUR boys, all under the age of 6. There is R, who is a division head with the navy and is probably going to have a third.

If I didn't have my competitive nature so neatly tucked away, I would have more babies, just to keep up with my classmates!