Lack of Posts

I was looking through my posts from 2008, and boy, I wrote a lot back then. How much I wrote had a direct correlation to where I was working. Yes, indeed, when I was being paid by your tax dollars, I was pretty much always slackin'. See, the government is too big.

These days, when I am at work. I work! Work, work, work. Sometimes I think I should sing "The Working Song" from Enchanted.

This evening, while putting dishes away, I told Hubby. "Just so your know, tomorrow is my early day. I start at 8. And I don't finish until 5. Boy, I am going to be dead." Hubby replied, "Oh, a 9 hour working day." Yes, I realize it sounds absolutely ridiculous to these hard working people who work in high tech, but really, I dread my marathon days. In 9 hours, I am going to see 14 patients. To primary care docs, or ER docs, that is really a low number. Yes, I realize I am a baby about working hard.

However, I am exhausted at the end. For instance, I gotta counsel someone out of my practice. It is never pleasant, but at some point, it is better for the patient and for me. (Before I let that person go though, I need to convince him to pay me.) Wish me luck.

It is also quite a roller coaster, that in one appointment, I hear about how much better a person is doing. Someone telling me that life is so much better without depression/anxiety. But the very next appointment may be with someone whose depression is just refractory to treatment. I have sent the said person for a second opinion, for hospitalization, for other treatment programs, but I feel like we are marching in place. I don't like it. Not at all. I want this person to be better. To be normal and healthy.

It is sad, actually, to think that there are people who will get better with the first intervention and never struggle with mood disorders again. Then, there are those whose illnesses are just so difficult to treat. Like cancer, some patients improve with one round of chemo, yet another person can't get any better after ten rounds of chemo.

I pray, that God gives me wisdom, all day long. That He gives me patience, to wait for medications to work. For endurance, to sit with patients who will probably never get better. Most of all, I pray for mercy, that everyone gets better.