Seriously?

We are on a break, a break from structured learning, that is.

When Aidan's swimming and ice-skating lessons wrapped up in December, I was so relieved. I was sick and tired of driving him to these things and keeping Zoe occupied. When Grandpa went on vacation, I stopped taking Aidan to Kumon too. After work, I just wanted to go home and get into my pajamas. As it turned out, that was what Aidan wanted too! He specifically asked me to not enroll him in swimming or ice-skating. While we had plans to go to Kumon tomorrow, I was thinking about just not taking him anymore. Instead, I thought I would teach him how to read.

That's right, this mother was going to try to teach her son something new.

However, so far, this hadn't worked out so well. I cleverly came up with the sentence:
Star Wars has Jar Jar in a car.
You know, to teach him the 'ar' sound.
As I pointed to Jar Jar, he said, "Binks."
I couldn't figure out if he knew what Jar Jar was already and thus moving on to the obvious word that always followed Jar Jar, or what.

Anyway, tomorrow, he gets to choose: Kumon or the above book with Mommy. If I were him, I would choose Kumon. But we will see.

Education Time

After much internal debate, I have decided to let my boss know about my intentions.

I am resigning. My last day will be March 31st.

After months of deliberation via my very awesome Excel spreadsheets (Hubby has to stifle his chuckles when he looks at them, as a guy who knows all the shortcuts for using Excel, I think it is painful for him to not rearrange all my cells to make the spreadsheet presentable...) of comparing working for myself, working at my salaried position, various combinations, and thinking about the needs of our family... We decided: The time to quit has arrived.

The original plan was that I would stick around until this fall and then quit. However, the events around Christmas and New Year's made it clear to me that God was opening up opportunities for me to quit sooner.

Hubby also kept saying, "You have my full support to do this whenever you want to. Do it whenever!"

I started carrying a bigger load at private practice and not being at home around the children's bedtime. (I really, really, hate this.)

So, I decided that since April 1st is when I can have my own office in private practice, I am quitting the day before.

However, in the meantime, I need to use up my benefits at work, mainly, my education leave. I am allowed 80 hours of this per academic year, and after all that I have been through with them, I am claiming this benefit.

How do I ask my supervisor for this time (to take off in the next few weeks) without telling him why is hard. Besides, I have really enjoyed working with him (he is not the one that has caused my entitlement to my benefits, he is a great boss, actually) and should really give him a lot of notice so that he can find someone else. So, I am setting aside common practice of two weeks and giving him 11.5 weeks.

(Also, it has gotten ridiculous when I tell patients, "Ok, so I will see you in three months. How about April?" That is just rude!!!)

Thus, I submitted my request for educational time, and after he signed it, I told that I am leaving. He wasn't surprised and was very supportive. As for educational time, you bet I will be studying like mad, and not doing anything related to this picture at all.

My Sweet, Sweet, Girl

We fall in the camp of parents who prefer to not find out about the gender of our new baby, because we love the surprise. Adult lives are not full of good surprises, and so why spoil our little fun? (Still, I couldn't help but ask at my ultrasound appointments, it is a girl OR a boy, right? Not ambiguous at all, right? So much as that the sonographer labeled the pictures for Zoe and our surprise was ruined.)

Whenever people comment on how perfect our life is since we have a boy and a girl, I sort of laugh. We knew we would stop with two babies and I was hoping for another boy. Two simple reasons: Economy of scale and Lack of hormonnal fluctuations.

Economy of scale: We already have all boys clothing, trucks, cars, why bother with pink stuff and dolls?

Hormonal fluctuations: I just don't need a moody adolescent girl in my house. I like boys because they tell you what is bothering them (usually) and unlikely to hear comments of, "You should know what is bothering me!"

But alas, God had a different plan for us. And I am so glad to have a little girl.

Zoe is so sweet. She snuggles with us so contently. She is strong willed, she knows what she wants and you better wait for her cue. While she loves her stuffed animals and dolls, she also loves all the trains and trucks that we have. (My mom got Aidan a truck for Christmas, and she WAILED when she realized that she didn't get one. In the last few days, she had been busily loading up her truck and pushing it around the house.)

She is growing up SO fast. Already, she can go up and down the stairs without supervision. She uses her utensils well, and is a good eater. She is a good sleeper, too, unless she wants to wake up and chat. (She woke up twice this past week at 3 to 'chat', but I think it is related to my schedule- I haven't been able to put her to sleep for a few nights this week...) In the morning, she is so thrilled to see her big brother, and we can hear the two talk and giggle in their room.

Her kisses are so sweet and slobbery. Her hugs are sweet and tender, and I love seeing her wave good-bye to people with that gentle smile.

It is great to have a little girl.

A Resolution

I am thinking, wouldn't it be fun to have a New Year's Resolution such as this one: To post a picture with every blog post.

See, I have started with my previous post of Kirkland's Fruit Snacks (which is the exactly the kind that Aidan was hiding.)

Today, my picture is this:



I thought I was being the brilliant gift giver when I bought variations of the above set for a few kids this past December. We gave a set to Aidan's friend from school for his birthday, his boy cousins got the airplane origami set, and his girl cousins got the animal set. I figured that this gift would develop their fine motor skills, abilities to follow directions, a new toy to play with everyday, and best of all, it wouldn't be permanent clutter for their parents.

HA! The joke is on me! Aidan, of course, got a set as well. So, everyday, he wants to fold airplanes. Let me rephrase, he wants ME to fold airplanes! I have not folded origami as a kid and crafts, in general, not my cup of tea. Imagine, if you will, Zoe sitting on my lap wanting to help, Aidan standing by my side, supervising. Me, trying to figure out exactly what the directions mean when it says, "Collapse it into figure #9."

So far, we have made all kinds of planes. Some planes are made just half way through, because I can't figure it out. But today, I successfully made a NASA Shuttle Carrier, a big plane with a space shuttle on top! Totally cool.

I have about 357 of these left to do...

The Love of Aidan's Life

As Hubby and I were preparing the children for bed the other night, Hubby decided to move Aidan's nightstand so that he could pick up all the loose Lego pieces that had fallen behind it. He found Lego pieces, and he found something else: wrapping for some fruit snacks! Aidan looked as guilty as could be. He fessed up that he had gotten a fruit snack from Bianca at school, and he ate it all after we got home. (As I recalled the events of last week, he did run up to his room and was very quiet for a very long time- I had assumed he was getting into his jammies and was playing with his toys.)

We couldn't blame him, though, considering his genes. I used to hoard food in my room- unfortunately for my mother, I liked to keep open cans of peaches. I loved the peaches, the syrup, it was just awesome. But for some reason, I ate it in secret.

Aidan's sweet auntie Giddiemon, also liked to hoard food, from candy, to cookies...etc, and there were ant infestations because of that.

Hubby denied ever hiding food from his parents- I have not had a chance to verify this...

Meanwhile, what was REALLY concerning was that Hubby found a few ants by the wrapping- DEAD ants. Did those ants gobble up the traces of fruit snacks and then kicked the bucket? Should children really be eating this?!

Also, we thought we knew our son... but apparently, he could be hiding all kinds of secrets... Especially, for the love of his life: Fruit Snacks.

Home at Last

It is hard to believe 2009 is here, especially because we were packing like mad people and running around like chickens sans heads over New Year's. But alas, 2009 is here to stay.

Here is a picture of us from my brother's wedding. A preview, if you will, since Hubby will be posting more of it once the lovely bride and groom are back from their honeymoon.



Thankfully, we made it home safely and without too much excitement- except for finding out that our plane to go home was frozen, and our flight was delayed for nearly eternity...

Anyway, we made it. A&Z went back to school today, and Hubby and I savored today by going to Oakland for Korean food (yum!) and walked around 4th Ave in Berkeley (it had become more chainy in the last few years). I had some time to think about my resolutions.

In reflecting how I did with my resolutions from last year, I was glad to report that some success happened. We are still eating brown rice (although I finally figured out that brown rice needs a LOT more water to cook), but whole wheat pasta are not as welcomed (also, difficult to keep in stock since Costco doesn't sell whole wheat pasta) and Mandarin lessons have gone no where... (BTW, when I saw my relatives at the wedding, a well meaning auntie suggested that I speak Mandarin to A&Z, I thought, "You gotta be kidding me? You think I never thought of that?!")

I am somewhat successfully in trying to feed my family at home more frequently, and with the latest economic news, if not for health reasons, or for financial reasons, than for guilt reasons.

As for having more grace for other people and living sacrificially... Well, let's just say that Jesus will not complete His work in me for a VERY LONG TIME.

For 2009, my resolutions are these:
1. Live in our current home for this year. It is hard for me to think about living here FOREVER. Therefore, to use my cognitive behavioral skills, I am just going to practice radical acceptance, and not catastrophize, and take it one year at a time. Also, check out this posting from a blogger from brownstoner, so true!

We bought our wreck 21 years ago and all our worst fears (which you enumerate succinctly) came true. We are hostages, no, slaves, to this energy-devouring century-old heap, which delights in torturing us from its devious old mechanical heart to its leprous, flaking exterior. It has sucked every penny of disposable income from our combined labors while continuing to deteriorate before our eyes. We have made every imaginable mistake in attempting to "renovate" it, mistakes from which we seldom learn anything, because the next mistake arises from a totally different and unprecedented sort of calamity. Our so-called "investment" has kept us house-poor and chronically overwhelmed for what we laughingly call the "prime" of our lives. And unless someone gives us, oh, say, half a million dollars, it will never get any better. Needless to say, we love this pile of wretched wood and pipes with a passion so tender that to gaze upon it sometimes brings tears to our eyes, at least until a piece of woodwork or roofing falls off in plain sight.

2. Enjoy the moment more. Yes, I am going to be in the moment, even when it is 8:25, and we are still at home, and I am suppose to be at work at 9. I will say, "You cute children, come here, give me a kiss and let's get our shoes on!" Instead of, "YOU BIOLOGICAL-INSERT-OUR-LAST-NAME! GET OVER HERE NOW! WE HAVE TO GO!!!!!!!!!"

3. To live more sacrificially, because Christ has lived sacrificially for me.

Well, I think I have my work cut out for me.

The Leash

Our trip to LA has been good thus far. Our flight was on time, and they lost some of our luggage, and thankfully, they lost the car seats. And only the car seats, not the laptop (we had to check it in since the super duper important stuff- all of Hubby's photography equipment had to go as carry on. While we were legally allowed more carry on pieces, there was no way to carry it all!) and since Southwest had loaners, we didn't care. BTW, we decided to not bring a stroller for this trip. Relatively speaking, Zoe seems so much lighter than Aidan ever was, and therefore, if she doesn't want to walk anymore, we just carry her and thus, Z has spent very little of her life in a stroller.) Alas, I digress. The hotel we stay in is the same property we always stay when we are in this part of LA. I know exactly the layout of the room, and it is strangely comforting. A&Z are also troopers and go to sleep easily, and therefore, no major screaming at night here.

We have had a chance to see Hubby's brother's family, which is always fun. We also are able to convince my sweet friend from college, Kathy, and her husband, to drive a long distance to come to see us. They happen to be in the greater LA area for New Year's- they actually reside in DC, and thus, it is a very special treat for us to see them. BTW, through our conversation, I am pondering about female professionals, but that will have to wait until later.

The bummer thing about this trip is that we won't get to see C- and if you are reading this, SO sorry... I love seeing C and her family whenever we get a a chance. I have known C since 1994. She has been my college parent, and wise adviser ever since. Anyway, a shame we are not able to see her.

The wedding preparations are going fine- Hubby is packing and repacking his case as I type. =) I have also packed my bags for tomorrow, since I will be in charge of the kids independently of spousal help. It will be foretaste of July.

Anyway, the point of this post: The Leash.

We are down here, on 'vacation', but I am still chained to my phone. Since I have this 'boutique' private practice, I promise my patients that I return all phone calls within 24 hours (and they pay me for this availability), I am still responsible for returning these phone calls even away. However, I don't travel with my files, obviously, and therefore, am rather limited to what my brain holds in terms of each patient. What they are taking...etc, and therefore, every time the phone buzzes, my heart quickens a bit. So far, most of the phone calls have been from my mom and sister, to coordinate meeting times, lost items, and random stuff. I have talked to three patients this evening, and thankfully, dementia has not set in and I am able to pretend I am in town...

I don't plan on finding an on call person for when I travel domestically, but, I should start to look for a trusty colleague for my future, hopefully, frequent, international trips.