Woes of Being a Boy

Obviously, I know very little about the woes of carrying both X and Y chromosomes, so it is up to Aidan to show me.

For instance, there are challenges simply because of one's anatomy: structure dictates function. To have a penis means one can pee standing up. To pee standing up, however, requires a sophisticated sense to know whether it is the deltrusor muscles that is relaxing for micturation, or it is the internal sphinctor relaxing for defecation. I guess it is hard to tell, especially when you are 4 1/2 and it is early in the morning, your mother is exasperating you (at baseline) and the world is making all sorts of demands on you.

Twice, in the last few weeks, I heard the yelling as I am trying to figure out how to start my day and listening to the tinkle of a steady urine stream, "MOMMY!!! I POOPED ON MY PANTS!!!" Literally, it is just a really crappy way to start the day.

This morning, it was made worse by the fact that Aidan is on antibiotics and thus fairly loose stool, all over his legs, underwear, pants, floor. As I scooped up fistful of poop, I thought to myself, "This is why we don't own pets!!!"

We now have a new rule: first thing in the morning, sit down to pee. However, even in sitting down, it comes with its own challenges: one has to remember to point the penis down. Or else, it is pee, everywhere...